The Hero's Journey

The great legends, mythology, and scripture are told and retold throughout the ages by storytellers and authors. There is always a consistent theme. The hero finds him or herself in a situation that is unlike any other. Life as it was is no more. Overcoming or succumbing to the problem will result in a change for not only the unsuspecting hero but for the community at large as well. A young hunter finds a mysterious feather and ends up in perilous struggles until he overthrows evil and marries the woman of his dreams. Moses discovers his true identity and leads his people to freedom. Jesus goes into the desert and emerges with the message of salvation. Jason goes on a quest for the Golden Fleece and becomes king. Cinderella finds her fingerprints in the ashes of the hearth and becomes the princess. The tales can be found in practically every novel ever written or film produced. They are what we want to read, see and hear. The stories are told and endure so that we can identify and follow the hero path in our personal lives.

The work of Joseph Campbell has been compelling to me. He made the point that everyone is the hero of their own story. It is being written from the time of our birth until we draw our last breath. The acceptance of this fact, whether we choose to participate and engage life with that knowledge, is relevant only to the extent that we meaningfully play the part. Sitting on the side of the road and waiting for something to happen is as much a tale as crossing the threshold and slaying our personal dragons. Either way, it is the process that underlies any growth, learning, and self discovery.

The idea is to accomplish something that transcends the ordinary. These situations present themselves in every challenge or change that happens in our lives. Every love found or lost, every birth and death presents the prospect of transformation. Every move to a new school, job, or town opens the chance to stop being what we were and to start becoming who we can be. Every situation which confronts us with something new or which forces us to re-evaluate ourselves presents us with possibilities for insight and growth.

We can own the fact that we are the hero and, in so doing, will discover that we have defined ourselves too narrowly. There will be a transformation in our behavior. We find ourselves with a new perspective and skills needed to face challenges that present themselves. We begin to act with honor and gain the wisdom to guide others through their own challenges. There is no time like the present to seize the opportunity. This is the way to a life filled with flavor and adventure.

Loneliness

There is a song by John Prine which explores the intensity of loneliness like few others that I have heard.  It is called "Hello In There".  The lyrics of the chorus are compelling:

Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger,

And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day.

Old people just grow lonesome

Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello."

Loneliness is certainly not experienced only by the elderly. We all know how it feels.  It is a sense that we are cut off from the rest of the world. Loneliness is unchosen and unwanted solitude which can lead to depression and hopelessness.  It becomes intolerable.

We may be tempted to feel that our bond of belonging has shredded or snapped after a painful rejection or a loved one’s death. Our heart breaks and we feel ourselves falling into a vastness too frightening to enter. There is a fear that the love we have lost came only from that source.

The truth is that we have always belonged to something greater than ourselves. We have always been loved. 

Loneliness disappears when we begin to accept each sorrow as a part of life that will come and go. It will leave us when we extend our hand to another. We will become connected by exploring new alternatives and paths to relationships.  Always remember that you are fully loved at all times and in all places.  It extends beyond the difficulties of here and now or the limits of time and space.

So if you're walking down the street sometime

And spot some hollow ancient eyes,

Please don't just pass 'em by and stare

As if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello"

First Day of Summer

Tiger Swallowtail

The first day of summer is a triumph of light over darkness. We have the opportunity to mark the longest day of the year with celebration. Nothing that has happened or will happen that can overshadow the fact that life goes on. The seasons implore us to participate in this grand adventure. Today is a day to make memories.

You're It!!!

I remember the summer as an endless adventure.  I was never one to sleep in like most of my friends.  The first light of dawn meant freedom and unknown destinations.  The hardest part of the day was waiting for my buddies to get out of bed and join me.  Sometimes I would sit in their backyards or pace around the neighborhood planning the many possibilities that lay ahead.  There were bikes to ride, forts to build, lakes to swim, apples to steal from nearby trees, butteflys to chase and games to play.  Finally everyone would be up, done with breakfast, and off we would go.  Imagination was all that was required to conquer the Nazi's, win the Civil War or overtake wild indians.  The A&W had ice cold root beer in chilled glass mugs and The Custard Cup had fudge sundaes and green rivers.  Hard to choose.  Rainy days only interrupted the action if there was a long downpour or lightning.  There was always plenty to do inside when four kids gathered.

Danville, Ilinois old A&W

Daytime ended with the sound of parents putting their hands up to their mouths hollering our names and telling us to come in for dinner.  We ate with our families but the fun was far from over.  Night time meant playing kick-the-can or hide-and-seek in the front yards.  There were lightning bugs to trap in grass lined mason jars.  Of course we always let them go.  Well almost always anyway. Sometimes we would have sleepovers or camp in tents outside somebody's house. Great sport came from setting off firecrackers and cherry bombs or running around naked without getting caught.  Kids have a way of becoming invisible.  Bedtime usually involved falling asleep on too warm sheets scheming for the next days fun.  How could anyone be bored in the summer?

The start of summer is connected with good things. There are still lighning bugs to catch, vacations, family reunions, swimming, running through sprinklers, cold watermelon and corn on the cob. It is time to have some fun. Summer is endless and beautiful in memories only if we take time to make some.

Living With Passion

The Sun Singer at Allerton Park, Monticello, Illinois

I was not taught as a child that one necessarily should  follow a path of passion.  People seemed to have strong beliefs in my family but I didn't really experience what was driving them.  There was an air of change that was blowing during my teen years in the late 1960's however.  Deep concern for the rights of those who were oppressed and resistance to war was sweeping the nation.  It all became very personal to me during a weekend conference at the Robert Allerton House in Piatt County, Illinois in 1970.  The annual Child Care Institute meeting held there was attended by dozens of direct care providers from around the state.  Most of us were young, long-haired and idealistic.  I was the youngest and perhaps the most naive.  Never had I been a part of so much concern, and passionate desire to do good.  We stayed up all night playing folk music and talking about how to change the world through our service to kids.  I was on fire with a light that continues to guide me even today.

Life is truly fulfilling when there is a burning passion for what we do. It becomes embodied by trusting, fearless and positive action. We are empowered with an inexhaustible energy. This is available to each and every one of us but must be actively sought as an integral part of our journey. We can choose to find and follow our bliss or we can opt for the safety of simply showing up.  Mitch Albom, the author and sports writer, has said “The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”  He is certainly right about that.

All creative innovation comes from a fire deep within that can only be doused by wave after wave of the mundane. Negative perspective and bias take over and reign. Resistance to fresh ideas should be abandoned and anything new or different is extinguished. The effect is institutional thinking and robotic action.  Everything we do must be approved by those in charge.  The purpose of our work becomes the monetary payoff that we receive.

Passion and devotion allow us to pursue and seize opportunities regardless of the obstacles. We must trust our beliefs with open-mindedness and a certain naivety. We have to stop asking for permission and push forward.  Today is the day to give life real meaning.

Speaking Well

The Island Sand, a newspaper in Ft. Myers Beach, Florida, published an article in 1970 on the occasion of Roy Jones 95th birthday.  It said that "This courtly gentleman's philosophy of living is as positive as it has always been...One of his quotes is 'If you can not say anything good about a person, don't say anything at all'."  The reporter was taken by Roy's gentle kindness and by his outlook toward people.  He spoke well of others. 

The practice of speaking well seems be out of date. We have become far too eager to criticize, find fault and place blame. It is so easy to identify blunders and what we perceive to be negative attributes of others. They seem to be glaring and call for our attention. We are rarely helpful when we point out these things. The hurt feelings and diminished self concepts that result far outweigh any good that might have come from our observations.

It is empowering and productive to catch each other being good. Reinforcing the positive aspects of behaviors make them occur more frequently. Calling attention to the good things that are going on creates an atmosphere that is dynamic and happy. This speaking well is a benediction. We have the opportunity to leave a person with a sense that they are important, loved and blessed. Everyone ends up in a better place.

Apprecition of What We Have

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, in his classic book The Little Prince, teaches us that "One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes." It is easy to lose track of the fact that the most important things cannot be purchased or owned. They are sometimes transient and almost always invisible. We continue to try to find happiness in obtaining more and more despite this. The world in which we live tends to reinforce the notion that if a little is good, more will be better. Unhappiness usually follows. There is an overriding sense that we just don't have enough or can't get enough of something.

Wanting and craving what we don't have prevents us from appreciating and enjoying what we do have right now. We often sell ourselves continual dissatisfaction and discontent by focusing on what we appear to lack. The envy of other people’s possessions, power and influence leads us to feel inadequate. We measure ourselves and always come up short.

How can we learn to savor the blessings we have now and appreciate the joy of all that is really important? One way to achieve this attitude of gratitude is to begin to live life with the knowledge that tomorrow the people or things that we love might not be here to enjoy. It should not take an actual loss to create this mind set. Life now is where we are living. Nothing can ever really fill all of our expectations and desires. The true value of life is in the present.  It is found in the people and things that surround us.

We cannot wait until tomorrow to realize that our lives are filled with special blessings. Tomorrow might be too late to see what has true value and worth. Living in the here and now allows us to enjoy all that we have and will truly satisfy our desires. What we already have is truly valuable. It is important to appreciate and celebrate the life that we are given while we still have the time left to enjoy it.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day, or Decoration Day, was a big deal with my family back in the 1950’s. It celebrated the memory of those who had given their lives for America. There were parades that led to the national cemetery, 21 gun salutes, speeches, readings of the Gettysburg Address, wearing little paper poppies sold by WWI veterans, and decorating graves. Flowers and flags adorned the final resting place not only of those who had served but of other members of our families as well. My mother always planted flowers in the urns at my little sister’s grave. We went to school from the day after Labor Day to the weekday before May 30. The significance of Memorial Day was never lost on kids. It was very important.

We learned about the importance of sacrifice as Memorial Day approached. Boys and girls would resume asking questions of their parents from The Greatest Generation. What did you do in the war Daddy? We were usually told little more than basics. They didn't want to scare us. We also asked about ancestors who might have actually served in The Civil War. There were stories to hear. I remember being proud that I had a 3x great grandfather and several great grand uncles who were union soldiers. One of my grandfather Joneses brothers was wounded at Gettysburg.  Ironically one of his mother's brothers (Daniel Reynolds) was a General for the Confederate Army. We were proud of him too.  Families were so divided.  There were actually pictures of some of them in full uniform. How cool was that?

Lawrence Dye (GAR)

We have lost the full impact of Memorial Day. Kids don’t have to recite “In Flanders Field” anymore. There are no leagues of men who don Lincoln beards and stove pipe hats going from school to school to present his famous speech. There are still flags placed at every grave in Arlington and the President pays his respects at the tomb of the unknown. It is the local flair that is diminished or gone entirely. For many it is just another Monday off and a nice long weekend.

General Daniel Reynolds (CSA)

Corp. William P. Jones (GAR)

For what were these men so willing to postpone their pursuit of happiness and even give up life itself? Certainly the foundations of our beliefs were at the core of their sacrifice. The Constitution, Bill of Rights and Declaration of Independence had been taught to them with great fervor by both teachers and parents. There were no short cuts when it came to memorizing and understanding their contents. They heard over-and-over again of all that had been surrendered by their forefathers to make the principles of liberty a reality. But there was more than that at stake. Our way of life was worth defending. The farms and hometowns, mothers and dads, brothers and sisters at home were precious and worth protecting with everything that they had to give. Abstract concepts, moral duty, and loved ones so dear were represented by their simple flag of stars and stripes. Nothing was more important. The horror and tragedy of war and scars that it left behind were all worth it. The possibility of death was worth it.  It is happening even today as our young men and women go off to the Middle East for us. These things we should always honor and remember. Every time we become willing to give up a freedom in deference to security we should remember. Every time we lose faith in our government and her elected representatives we should remember. Every time we see a flag flying at half mast we should remember.

I want to always remember.  So I am personalizing Memorial Day this year in old photographs. The first picture above is of Lawrence Dye, my 3x great grandfather. In the middle is Uncle Dan Reynolds followed by Uncle Will Jones (Gettysburg).  The ones below are of Ken Jones, my World War II Dad and of my Father-In-Law Roland Hallead. They are heroes that should not be forgotten.  Thanks for your service. You and your comrades are loved and remembered.

Kenneth R Jones

Roland L. Hallead

                       

Here is “In Flanders Field” the WWI poem by John McRae (1915). Let’s celebrate Memorial Day with great reverence this year.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead.

Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved,
and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.