“Look closely when you feel the swell of joy within, or the tightness as your throat closes up in sorrow. Live in that moment.”
The busyness of life often rushes us past all of the miraculous things that are happening all around us. We rush from activity to activity, from crisis to crisis and fall, exhausted into our beds to gather enough energy to do it all again the next day. Even the vacations that we anticipate and plan can be frantic. We pack up the family and drive long distances or forge into the daunting airports to be processed for travel. We arrive at our destinations, see all of the important sights, hit the hot spots, and head back home. Lots of vacationers take their business cell phones and laptops with them wherever they go so that they are always on task, always available. Where (or when) do we draw the line, stop running so hard, and slow down to witness the real beauty of it all? Most of the religions have integral periods of retreat and renewal. They make sacred certain seasons of their calendars so that people can reflect, meditate, pray, fast and become centered. Most spiritual disciplines call for daily ritual that brings the faithful into the realm of devotion and peaceful reflection or prayer. Such is that time called Lent, which is the 40 day cycle prior to the Christian celebration of Easter. It is a sacred time of introspection and review. It is a period of sacrificing some self indulgent habit and creating or enhancing some positive contribution to the community. It is a really good time.
What indulgence or bad habit can I give up and replace with a good deed today?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Forgiveness: Freeing Oneself From Resentment
A wise man bestowed wisdom upon me back in 2000. I was wrestling with problems in my life that existed in my past but that were seriously affecting the way that I related to other people in the present. I respected him very much. My decision to ask for help, however, was postponed several times with a variety of excuses. Finally, I found myself sitting in front of his desk. I felt more like a 12 year old boy than a 49 year old man. My words spilled out for several minutes. He listened patiently. There, it was done. The barbs and foibles, miscues and mistakes, lies and disguises all summed up in a blubbering mass of emotion. His response was heartfelt and brief. He said “If you don’t forgive yourself, you have missed the whole point.” That was it. No lecture, no judgment, no pontificating over my dilemma, just those few words. I thanked him and took them back to my apartment. Nothing has really been the same ever since.
Dr. Doug Talbott’s words have guided me in my personal and professional relationships for almost seven years. They taught me to afford myself the opportunity to heal. I had to stop punishing myself for my mistakes and begin living gently and constructively in the present. I have learned that forgiveness is a key to happiness. I must offer it to everyone in order to be free from resentments. This letting go of resentment has proven to be a touchstone of life. I have learned that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change the past. All I can do is learn from it. There is no point in holding grudges, bearing resentments or harboring ill will. All of those are heavy burdens that I (and only I) choose to carry. Their weight is too much for anyone to bear. Putting them down allows me to focus on the important mission of living well today. I can do the next right thing. I am never a victim. Life is good!
Dr. Doug Talbott’s words have guided me in my personal and professional relationships for almost seven years. They taught me to afford myself the opportunity to heal. I had to stop punishing myself for my mistakes and begin living gently and constructively in the present. I have learned that forgiveness is a key to happiness. I must offer it to everyone in order to be free from resentments. This letting go of resentment has proven to be a touchstone of life. I have learned that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change the past. All I can do is learn from it. There is no point in holding grudges, bearing resentments or harboring ill will. All of those are heavy burdens that I (and only I) choose to carry. Their weight is too much for anyone to bear. Putting them down allows me to focus on the important mission of living well today. I can do the next right thing. I am never a victim. Life is good!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Listening For An Awakening
Most of us long for a "new awakening" in out lives, a transformation from who we are to who we dream of being. But what kind of action is needed in order to achieve such change? There are so many self improvement books and articles on the subject that one could almost spend a lifetime reading and studying. The list of seminars and speakers, internet blogs and sites go on and on. The truth is that these epiphanies are elusive. They seem to come to people at unlikely times.
Bill Wilson, a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, was incarcerated for the fourth time at Manhattan's Towns Hospital in 1934. He tells of a spiritual awakening, a flash of white light, a liberating awareness of God. This experience led to the founding of AA and the gift of 12 Step Recovery. He was sedated, detoxified and hopeless. Bill prayed, "If there be a God, will He show himself?" He said this of his life altering experience. The result was instant, electric, beyond description. The place seemed to light up, blinding white. I knew only ecstasy and seemed on a mountain. A great wind blew, enveloping and penetrating me. To me, it was not of air, but of Spirit. Blazing, there came the tremendous thought. 'You are a free man.' Then the ecstasy subsided. I found myself in a new world of consciousness which was suffused by a Presence. One with the Universe, a great peace stole over me."
Thomas Merton, the great writer and spiritual mentor, was at a point of complete disillusionment and on the way to a dentist appointment in Louisville, Kentucky. He was on the corner of Walnut and 4th Street when he was overcome with a new awareness. He wrote, "Yesterday, in Louisville, at the corner of 4th and Walnut, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all these people, that they were mine and I theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness, of spurious self-isolation in a special world, the world of renunciation and supposed holiness. The whole illusion of a separate holy existence is a dream. Not that I question the reality of my vocation, or of my monastic life: but the conception of "separation from the world" that we have in the monastery too easily presents itself as a complete illusion. I have the immense joy of being man, a member of a race in which God Himself became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. And if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun." Merton went on to be a voice of peace and social justice. His life and work were never the same. Countless people were and are influenced by his transformation.
There are many other similar stories. A common thread seems to be that a person must be in a position in which there is a desperate need to listen. Karl Menninger describes this listening as a force that creates us, unfolds us and expands us. The process is difficult. We are always ready to respond. Always ready to give advice. Always ready to talk. The idea of being quiet is foreign to us. But this is, indeed, what it takes to be a vessel for a new awakening. Active listening and reflection are a discipline that can be developed or it can be thrust upon us as it was for Bill Wilson and Thomas Merton.
We must listen for our new awakening, our personal epiphany. How can I become a quiet listener?
Bill Wilson, a co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, was incarcerated for the fourth time at Manhattan's Towns Hospital in 1934. He tells of a spiritual awakening, a flash of white light, a liberating awareness of God. This experience led to the founding of AA and the gift of 12 Step Recovery. He was sedated, detoxified and hopeless. Bill prayed, "If there be a God, will He show himself?" He said this of his life altering experience. The result was instant, electric, beyond description. The place seemed to light up, blinding white. I knew only ecstasy and seemed on a mountain. A great wind blew, enveloping and penetrating me. To me, it was not of air, but of Spirit. Blazing, there came the tremendous thought. 'You are a free man.' Then the ecstasy subsided. I found myself in a new world of consciousness which was suffused by a Presence. One with the Universe, a great peace stole over me."
Thomas Merton, the great writer and spiritual mentor, was at a point of complete disillusionment and on the way to a dentist appointment in Louisville, Kentucky. He was on the corner of Walnut and 4th Street when he was overcome with a new awareness. He wrote, "Yesterday, in Louisville, at the corner of 4th and Walnut, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that I loved all these people, that they were mine and I theirs, that we could not be alien to one another even though we were total strangers. It was like waking from a dream of separateness, of spurious self-isolation in a special world, the world of renunciation and supposed holiness. The whole illusion of a separate holy existence is a dream. Not that I question the reality of my vocation, or of my monastic life: but the conception of "separation from the world" that we have in the monastery too easily presents itself as a complete illusion. I have the immense joy of being man, a member of a race in which God Himself became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now I realize what we all are. And if only everybody could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun." Merton went on to be a voice of peace and social justice. His life and work were never the same. Countless people were and are influenced by his transformation.
There are many other similar stories. A common thread seems to be that a person must be in a position in which there is a desperate need to listen. Karl Menninger describes this listening as a force that creates us, unfolds us and expands us. The process is difficult. We are always ready to respond. Always ready to give advice. Always ready to talk. The idea of being quiet is foreign to us. But this is, indeed, what it takes to be a vessel for a new awakening. Active listening and reflection are a discipline that can be developed or it can be thrust upon us as it was for Bill Wilson and Thomas Merton.
We must listen for our new awakening, our personal epiphany. How can I become a quiet listener?
Friday, February 9, 2007
Living A Life Of Inspiration
“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of the night." ~ Elie Wiesel
I was pondering the person that I might quote on our website “thought for the day” and remembered one of my favorite authors, Elie Wiesel. He was one of the children of Auschwitz…one who survived that which is unimaginable to most all of us. The boy who witnessed the murder of his entire family lived to become the conscience of our remembrance. He was appointed chair of the Presidential commission on the Holocaust, awarded the Congressional Gold Medal of achievement, and the Nobel Peace Prize. His emergence from the kingdom of the night has proved to be a guiding light for thousands of people over the years. So, my choice of subjects and quotations was, perhaps, more important today than others. How do we emerge from our own darkness, from our own kingdom of the night? Do we become beacons for others or do we transmit even more darkness? Do we offer gratitude or do we offer bitterness? We are wounded in our life’s journey.
It is impossible to live without such wounding. There is no way to avoid it. It is more obvious for some than others. Those who are victims of terrible abuse, horrific experiences and tragic loss are everywhere. But what about those who are not exposed to such things? We each suffer rejection, disappointment, sadness, grief, loneliness and fear. No one is unscathed. We must make a choice in dealing with our darkness. Our life lessons and experiences can be used as gifts that reflect the richness of living, gratitude for survival and thanksgiving for our many blessings. It is a choice to make. We can either be an inspiration or a discouragement to those we encounter. We can leave a legacy of wisdom and love or one of disillusionment and hatred.
I was pondering the person that I might quote on our website “thought for the day” and remembered one of my favorite authors, Elie Wiesel. He was one of the children of Auschwitz…one who survived that which is unimaginable to most all of us. The boy who witnessed the murder of his entire family lived to become the conscience of our remembrance. He was appointed chair of the Presidential commission on the Holocaust, awarded the Congressional Gold Medal of achievement, and the Nobel Peace Prize. His emergence from the kingdom of the night has proved to be a guiding light for thousands of people over the years. So, my choice of subjects and quotations was, perhaps, more important today than others. How do we emerge from our own darkness, from our own kingdom of the night? Do we become beacons for others or do we transmit even more darkness? Do we offer gratitude or do we offer bitterness? We are wounded in our life’s journey.
It is impossible to live without such wounding. There is no way to avoid it. It is more obvious for some than others. Those who are victims of terrible abuse, horrific experiences and tragic loss are everywhere. But what about those who are not exposed to such things? We each suffer rejection, disappointment, sadness, grief, loneliness and fear. No one is unscathed. We must make a choice in dealing with our darkness. Our life lessons and experiences can be used as gifts that reflect the richness of living, gratitude for survival and thanksgiving for our many blessings. It is a choice to make. We can either be an inspiration or a discouragement to those we encounter. We can leave a legacy of wisdom and love or one of disillusionment and hatred.
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