Sacrifice

Boys Image Reflected in The VietNam Memorial

Self sacrifice is a miracle in action. There are times when our world seems to be driven by greed and selfishness. One of the most powerful things to experience is a personal observation or the story of one who freely gives for the sake of others. Such deeds actually are not in short supply. One such account was recently transmitted by National Public Radio.

Joe, a school custodian, was an Army Ranger during the first Gulf War. He rushed in to save a friend who was hit by a mortar and stepped on a concussive charge which resulted in several serious injuries that ended Joe’s Army career. His friend had been killed before Joe could even get to him.

As a result of his head injury, Joe also lost his fiancée, his excellent social skills, and the life he assumed he would live. Now he works nights, emptying the school garbage and trimming the shrubbery every now and then while his dog waits in the car. When asked if he wishes things were different, Joe still says, “Yeah, I wish I could have saved Brian. I would have gladly died for him.”

Self-sacrifice is the act of deliberately following a course of action that has a high risk or certainty of suffering. It often entails personal loss or death which could otherwise be avoided in order to achieve a benefit for others. It is a powerful theme that says “There is something I want more than life itself. There is something more important.” I am reminded of the Oskar Schindler story.

The movie Schindler’s List told us about the life and times of Oskar Schindler. He was a very wealthy socialite and businessman in Germany prior to World War II. The plight of Jewish victims of the Nazis compelled him to change. He continually risked his life to protect and save his Jewish workers. He desperately spent every penny he had bribing and paying off the Nazis to get food and better treatment for them. Finally, more than 1200 people were saved. When asked why he made the sacrifice that he did, Schindler replied, “I just couldn't stand by and see people destroyed. I did what I could, what I had to do, what my conscience told me I must do. That's all there is to it. Really, nothing more." Schindler never recovered financially but was mourned on four continents when he died. He is revered as a beloved hero to this day.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Sacrifice is the miracle that makes great things possible.” We are sanctifying our actions when we make sacrifices. The drive to make a personal difference, whether by living a life of service or rising to the occasion when it becomes clear that someone must, is the essence of self-sacrifice. We trade the uncertainty of options for the certainty of gloom when we surrender to despair. Life isn't filled only with difficulty and pain. It is also filled with people whose dignity and spirit rise above their circumstances. There are situations when great sacrifice or love and wisdom turn a problem into an opportunity and strength. If we look at what has happened in our own lives and in those of others, we have ample reason to hope. This hope can change the world.

Living With Passion

  Monarch Preparing for First Flight ~ Photo by Steve Magin

Life should be lived passionately. The promises of Passover and Easter are ones of opportunity and second chances. It is beginning again just when we thought it was almost over. Enthusiasm should accompany this gift without a doubt but passion is the key element of renewal. It is easy to confuse passionate living with recklessness. The two are not compatible. Lust, power, greed and irresponsibility are symptoms of selfishness. Compassion, humility, generosity and dependability are the touchstones of action which generate from a spiritual and emotional wellspring of passion. It means being true to our principles and doing the right thing. It means putting family, friends and community first. It means following our dreams and bliss rather than money and prestige.

A friend of mine was a great businessman. He spent his hours developing a large concern that served hotels and casinos in the south. His successes were obvious. They were evidenced in a very comfortable lifestyle.  There was plenty of stress and many headaches as well. His time away from work was limited.  Then came Hurricane Katrina. Everything was blown or washed away. They lost their home, their employees were devastated, and the business was practically ruined. His despair was to be expected but his response was probably not. He and his wife have dedicated their lives to a new way of appreciation. They spend quality time with each other. They no longer collect meaningless possessions. They share their bounty of love and treasure with others. A new home was eventually purchased. The business was sold. Each day is now lived to the fullest. They are among the happiest people I know.

It does not necessarily take tragedy to redefine our lives. Often, however, it is that which seems to be an ending that awakens us to a new dawn. I have been including photographs of the transition and metamorphosis of a caterpillar to a monarch butterfly for the past several weeks. The metaphor is obvious. Our defined lives are never really defined until we turn them over to a power greater than ourselves. We wake up to find that we have changed and that flight is possible when it seemed we were destined to crawl. Be passionate with the gift. Live, live, live! Life is a banquet!

Life Is Good

There is a new life that presents itself each spring. Something magnificent, marvelous, extraordinary and sensational is going to happen. Like the sometimes slow and subtle emergence of spring, however, we often have to look for the little signs. There might just be a moment or there might be an explosion of happiness but a miracle will unfold if we are only willing to bear witness. The suffering and death that is experienced in winter have given way to new life. We cannot deny this reality.

There is always something hidden that holds the promise that is stronger than any despair or suffering that we have experienced. Our being open to possibilities rather than confining ourselves to limitations is a key to finding an end to desolation. We can begin to face the reality that life is made up of seasons. There is often great courage required in going through distress and difficulties. It is, however, going through them that allows us to survive and to find new hope. We will discover that where we had least expected there is light and a green shoot or blossom. We will develop a trust that God’s love is stronger than anything that we might encounter. His loving presence can be found in the midst of jealousy, resentment, revenge hatred and even death itself. It is this trust that allows us to carry on with a spirit of optimism and appreciation.

Spring is here.  Passover and Easter are coming!  Life Is Good!

All You Need Is Love

Spring is in the air and things are blooming everywhere.  There is no shortage of the evidence of God's timeless and unconditional love.  It was in this spirit that I found myself when “All You Need Is Love”, a song from The Magical Mystery Tour, came through my speakers this morning. The Beatles were asked by BBC to write something with a simple message that could be understood by everyone around the world. It could not be misinterpreted. Love is everything. The song went on to top the charts after being performed on the first global network link on June 25, 1967 (the beginning of The Summer of Love). 400 million people in 26 countries watched and listened. “All You Need Is Love” has been rated as one of the top 500 songs of all time. How incredible that this music would have such an impact. Why would that little phrase resound so clearly with so many people? Perhaps it is so important because it is the real defining truth of our existence.

Love is one message that is contained within all of the religions and spiritual practices throughout time. We are taught, asked and commanded by God to love one another. We are told to be compassionate above everything else. It is the way to heaven. Jesus is pressed by the lawyers of his day to define the most important law of scriptures. His response is taken from The Torah and The Shema when he says “You shall love The Lord your God will all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” The Qur’an of Islam begins with a definition of God as “infinitely good” and “all merciful”. Love appears 69 times in the text. In Buddhism, the practice of universal loving kindness or mettà is called ' the Godly way of living ' or brahma-vihàra. It knows no revenge. It is one of four gradually upgraded qualities of love. Collectively they are also called 'sates of unbounded or magnanimous living'. Prema, or elevated love, in Hinduism is a sacrament. It is unfortunate and perhaps tragic that the caretakers and gatekeepers of many religions have seemingly lost sight of the great treasure that lies within our traditions. They have become fundamental, functional, fractional and extreme with an overriding sense of who gets out and who gets in to their religions and to eternity. They have discounted and diminished love.

The creation of a loving community was at the heart of the formation of Christianity. Symbols and stories of compassionate, unconditional love abound. Love is the central theme in the story of God, Mary, Joseph and the birth of Jesus. The gathering of apostles and multitudes of followers all speak to the path of spiritual redemption through non-judgmental acceptance. The Beatitudes tell us how to live in an abiding community of love. They ask for humility, comforting, gentleness, kindness, justice, mercy, purity of heart and peacemaking. It is hard to argue with those directives. Jesus’ radical concept does not create systems for power and money. There must be membership, exclusion, unforgiveable sin and fear in order to have institutions which yield great influence in those areas. I was cautioned by a minister not long ago that “love is the baby’s milk of our religion. The adult Christian cannot continue to live on milk alone. There is more to it than love you know.” I beg to differ.  “All You Need Is Love.”

Examining Self

Monarch Free of His Chrysalis ~ Photo by Steve Magin

The season before Easter for Christians is intended to be one of self examination. Lives are transformed when people enter in to deep and sustained spiritual personal reflection. I am reminded of a man named John O'Donohue. He was a catholic priest from County Clare, Ireland. His poetry, prose and spirituality transcended the boundaries of his priesthood and he abandoned his vocation. This did not mean that the depth of his journey was diminished. On the contrary, it broadened. The painful self examination that led him to make this decision allowed him to contribute even more writings and books that continue to inspire after his death. The books Anam Cara, (Gaelic for "Soul Friend"; 1997) and Eternal Echoes (1998) are treasures that should be part of the library of any who search for meaning. I remember that he once said "If you attend to your self and seek to come into your own presence, you will find exactly the right rhythm for your own life." We are asked to enter in to this sometimes painful process that John experienced in order to live more fully.

I found myself in treatment for alcohol dependence back in 2000. The struggle with drinking had taken a great toll on my life. Despite the fact that I had long worked in the field of addiction and adolescent services, the facts of my own compulsion escaped me. I could help others with their problems but could not grasp my own. One of the counselors at Talbott Recovery Campus insisted that my primary responsibility was to take care of myself. I was to put everything else behind this directive including my children, wife, job and friends. I recoiled at the very suggestion. It seemed not only selfish but narcissistic. The truth became clear, however, that in order to live in service to others I would have to work on myself first. I would also have to continue to attend to me if I was to be useful in the future. There is no way to be effective externally if there is only a limited journey inward. I am not always happy with my findings. There is more on which to work.  There is more to explore. The fruit of this kind of search is the discovery of our true identity. We are all an integral part of the whole. We are all kin. We are the beloved. This information is all that we need to sustain ourselves for whatever life offers.

To Begin Again

The signs of spring are beginning to show in the south. The seemingly dead ground is showing new life as the little crocus emerge from slumber. There is a promise of vibrancy as spring overcomes winter. Our struggle with cold weather and indoor confinement is almost at an end. Such is the rhythm of our existence. There are always new beginnings to be discovered. The possibility of change should never be in doubt.

Perhaps the most cruel thing that can be said of a person is that they will never change. I work in the field of addiction recovery. The people that we serve have been frequently accused of this. They are discounted and dismissed. Often, everyone in their lives has given up on them. Our patients are left feeling hopeless and alone. Nothing is as pitiful as those who come to believe that what they hear in this regard is true.  Of course nothing could be further from the truth. Each of us has the capacity for change regardless of the path that we have traveled, the wrongs that we have committed or the damage that we might have done. It is never too late.

It is as important to have hope for people as it is to have faith in the appearance of spring. We do not have to be naïve nor should we allow our expectations to overshadow reality. But we must allow for possibilities. We should be open to miracles. We will then begin to develop an acceptance of God’s ever changing creation and begin to understand that we are not in charge of it.

Servant Leadership

There is a call that must be answered. We can try to ignore it by overworking, over achievement and self indulgence but the beckoning continues. We can plead that our resources are limited but the summons persists. We can appeal that the physical or emotional barriers in our lives make it impossible but the invitation will not be dismissed. We are called to serve others. We do not have to abandon our lives and lifestyles to answer it but we must respond with direct action. Serving the needs of others connects us to our common bond. It allows us to go beyond the narrow range of daily activities to a place in which we feel fully human. We have the ability to become servant leaders.

Servant leadership is a philosophy of compassion. The phrase was derived from the work of Robert Greenleaf in 1970. Centers from The School of Servant Leadership in Washington, DC to The Greenleaf Center in Indiana and countless other schools around the country have risen to the call of the leader as a servant. It is a philosophy that, when embraced, calls the individual to community. Mercy and justice become overriding concerns. Competition yields to cooperation. Servant leaders not only nurture but embolden others. Their compassionate mission welcomes the poor and the wealthy, the prisoner and the executive, the mourner and the celebrant. They erase the distinctions that divide us and provide a vision of an interconnected human family.

Starting out on a path of servant leadership requires only that we pose the following questions to ourselves:


• How can I spend more time other people?

• How can I bring some joy into the situation that faces me?

• How can I listen with greater intensity?

• How can I share my love?

The behaviors will follow the questions. We will find that we are engaged in the most meaningful and enriching times of our lives. It takes some effort and some courage but it can be done regardless of who we are. This is the way of spiritual living. It is what every religion tells us to do. We have not yet realized what we profess to believe until we rise to follow the call.

The Value of Forgiveness

Courtney Jones with Nelle Jones Stensel

Forgiveness is a process of conversion. It does not ensure change in our enemy or the one who has harmed us in some way. People who have caused difficulty in our lives, pain, frustration and disappointment might have been expelled from our hearts. We become irritated at the thought of them and the wrongs that they have inflicted. Yet, the first thing that we are asked to do in our spiritual or religious disciplines is to pray for them. We are told to bring our enemies to the center of our hearts and become willing to make them part of our most sacred activity. It is a difficult thing to do. But it must be done in order to free ourselves from the bondage of resentment and hatred.

Nelle Jones Stensel was a deeply spiritual woman. She was the seventh of eight children born to a dynamic and active family. They were active in athletics, community projects and the Methodist church. The smallest of the group, Nelle was sometimes lost in the shuffle but always had the deep sense of being loved. Her adult life had tragedy and loss from which some people do not recover. Her oldest child had a bout with meningitis and was left with mental retardation and tendencies to angry outbursts. He was eventually institutionalized. Nellie’s second child was a beautiful girl who was filled with enthusiasm and grace. Elfrieda Stensel was murdered by her former fiancé just two days before her nineteenth birthday. The young man was sentenced to life in prison but paroled after only seven years. Nelle did not seek revenge nor did she bury resentment in her heart. She prayed for him and asked that he be forgiven. Most of the family was outraged when Nelle offered this man assistance upon his release from prison. Nelle was unaffected. Her faith told her that this was the right way to respond. Her gentleness and kindness effused bringing healing to even the deepest wound. It was from this aunt that I learned the abiding way of forgiveness. A heart can never harden when enemies are converted to brothers and sisters.

Who benefits most from forgiveness? Is it the one who has caused the problems and inflicted damage? Is it the community who bears witness to the wonder of absolution? Or, is it the one who offers the forgiveness in the first place? Perhaps everyone receives grace. The greatest gift, however, is granted to the one who forgives. It is a lifelong struggle, but the fruit of the effort is a kind of salvation. Hostility is replaced by acceptance. We find a new way of responding to our world by offering love in place of hatred. Our own hearts are freed. We begin to understand that we too are worthy of forgiveness whoever we are and whatever we might have done.