Don't Worry, Don't Hurry & Don't Hate

Roy Jones 90th Birthday surrounded by his family

Don’t Worry! Don’t Hurry! And Don’t Hate! These words have been touchstones for me throughout my life. I heard them first when I was a little boy from the lips of my grandfather, Roy H. Jones. Grand Dad was a man of the ages. He was born in 1875 (the year before both the birth his beloved Chicago Cubs and the Battle of The Little Bighorn or Custer’s Last Stand). His lifetime spanned almost 100 years. During that time Roy saw the world transformed from one in which he worked behind a horse drawn hay wagon at age eight to one in which humans walked on the moon when he was 94. Cars, Airplanes, Indoor Plumbing, Electric lights, World Wars and most everything else happened in between. Very few things remained the same (except perhaps the lovable losers at Wrigley Field). He affected the lives of many, many people. That motto, “Don’t Worry! Don’t Hurry! And Don’t Hate!” was what he lived by. It was his guiding principle, his ideal. It helped him live his life as a farmer, a teacher, a businessman, a husband, a parent (grandparent, great grandparent, great-great grandparent), and a community leader. It saw him through the Great Depression in which he lost his fortune, the death of his mother and father, wife, two children, the death of grandchildren and the murder of a grandchild as well as countless other heart aches. It was his guide in gaining riches, influence and political authority. He passed those words along in what he said and in what he did. Most of all, Don’t Worry! Don’t Hurry! And Don’t Hate!, was the mantra of sorts that led him to his spiritual center. It was the place that he went to for perspective. He was a deeply spiritual person. Roy attended church services at the Methodist Church in Monticello, Illinois all of his life. Admittedly, Sundays sometimes found him at his office with some of “the boys” playing a friendly game of poker or gin rummy. But his spirituality went way beyond the doors of the church. He was the most positive person I have ever met. He radiated love, compassion, confidence and a good natured sense of humor. The question that I have asked myself over and over was “How the hell did he do it?” The world can be a pretty tough place with a pretty tough crowd. How do you stay centered with all of the noise and turmoil and demands of our lives?

There never seems to be enough time. I believe that this problem of time plagues us today…perhaps more than any time in history. We seem to be victims of it, really. From our waking to our falling asleep we are in a kind of battle with time. Determined to win and destined to lose. There is either not enough of it or there is too much of it. It moves too slowly or quickly. Our competitive system demands that we not only succeed at something but that we are constantly accountable. Time is the marker by which we determine how well we are doing against these provisos. Many of us live our lives filled with the exceptional stress that accompanies such an existence. We feel that we are only present and surviving. When will there be time for me and for the ones that I love? Where is the fulfillment that I desire? What is the purpose of it all?

I have the daily experience of encountering people who carry cell phones and lap tops with them wherever they go. I must confess that, at times, I have been one of them. We stand in line at the market and hear cellular beeps everywhere. They are ringing and chiming in movies, at ball games, concerts and even at church. This is a recent encounter that I had: 

A solitary person sits at a table at his favorite restaurant pecking away at the computer. Abruptly, the cell phone goes off. “Hi Tom what’s up?” (He knows who it is already of course because of the caller ID feature). “I’m working on it right now, boss.” (He has probably already put in eleven hours at the office). “I can’t get on line at this restaurant. No WIFI.” (He listens for a minute as his entrée arrives). “Sure I can adjust to that deadline. I’ll head back to the office right now and finish it off tonight.” (He asks for a Doggie Bag and leaves).

Do we really have such a desire and need for security, money or power? I hope not. We are attempting to escape in the name of survival. We do not want to feel the unpleasant feelings of fear, loneliness, sadness, shame and frustration (among others). Our excessive use of alcohol and other drugs is an indicator of this truth. We are seeking comfort and relief. The alleviation that we are pursuing is attainable. We do not have to run away from the world and the culture in which we live. On the contrary! The goal is to say YES to life with all of its pain and all of its joy. In order to do this we must participate in it fully.

The stressors and difficulties that were just mentioned as well as the ability to say YES are, in fact, spiritual issues. The good news is that you already have the spiritual answers. You can achieve emotional and spiritual peace in an insecure world. There is a way to stop competing with time. There is a way to follow your own program for living. Even in the face of war and terrorism, a volatile economy and a worsening ecology we can live in harmony and serenity, live without worry and hate. We can be happy. We can stand to be vulnerable. We can find acceptance within ourselves and with our God. The rewards are immense. Just ask Roy Jones, “Don’t Worry! Don’t Hurry! And Don’t Hate!” Life is good!

The Mystery of Hard Times

There is a mysteriousness that surrounds the interruption of our plans and visions.  It has been said that this mystery is the doorway to all understanding.  One day everything seems to be going according to the script that we have written and then, out of the blue, things turn upside down.  Jobs are lost, health situations become problematic, losses occur.  Life has taken us to places we didn’t want to go. John makes scriptural reference to this when he quotes Jesus as saying "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."  None-the-less, it makes us feel as if something has gone wrong.  We must have made a mistake somewhere along the line. Perhaps we are being punished for something.  It is acutally sometimes the only way that we can be taken the different place.  There are reasons that go furhter than our own ability to reason. These hard knocks and trials are designed to deepen our experience of life.

Often it takes something major to wake us up. It is loss of control more than anything else that humbles us and enables us to see the big picture. It reminds us that what we know and understand is a small fraction of the great mystery of our existence.  The key to the understanding lies in what we do not know. This awareness broadens us as we release our resistance to reality. Joy exists within us independently of whether things go our way or not. We can trust that we will find that joy if we are willing to surrender to the situation. It is a matter of allowing our difficulties to deepen our understanding of life rather than leading us to despair.  We will emerge transformed, braver and more confident for having moved through the darkness.

Wounded Healers

Lighthouse at Hillsboro Inlet, Pompano Beach, Florida

It is impossible to go through life without suffering. Henri Nouwen once said that "When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” We are scarred by losses, disappointments, cruelty and a variety of tragic experiences. The result can be as devastating as the wounding itself. We find ourselves closed off from each other, isolated in our pain or filled with resentment. Some of us turn to the numbing effects of drugs and alcohol for relief. Time does not heal. It is almost impossible to forget or to go on as if nothing happened.

We each have the ability to rise above the issues of pain and shame. There are many people who are testimonies of inspiration. Lance Armstrong, diagnosed with life threatening cancer, was determined to overcome it.  He continued to win cycling tournaments and is a tireless fundraiser for others with the disease through his LIVESTRONG foundation. Bill Wilson, a failed Wall Street broker, turned into a hopeless drunk.  He was inspired in his darkness and created Alcoholics Anonymous.  Millions around the world have been saved through his example.  These men, like so many people, became teachers who have empowered others to trust themselves to go beyond the pain. We call them wounded healers.

The wounded healer is a beacon of hope.  Those who suffer are able to see a flicker of light from the distant lighthouse.  The healer represents the possibility that things can actually work out.  Their willing hand, guidance and encouragement has meaning because of their common experience and solidarity with us.  The message becomes a clear one. If I can survive this...so can you.  A transformation takes place.

Suffering and illness do not have to define us in a negative way. Making the wound visible allows us to become a source of wisdom, healing power and an inspiration to others.

The Hero's Journey

The great legends, mythology, and scripture are told and retold throughout the ages by storytellers and authors. There is always a consistent theme. The hero finds him or herself in a situation that is unlike any other. Life as it was is no more. Overcoming or succumbing to the problem will result in a change for not only the unsuspecting hero but for the community at large as well. A young hunter finds a mysterious feather and ends up in perilous struggles until he overthrows evil and marries the woman of his dreams. Moses discovers his true identity and leads his people to freedom. Jesus goes into the desert and emerges with the message of salvation. Jason goes on a quest for the Golden Fleece and becomes king. Cinderella finds her fingerprints in the ashes of the hearth and becomes the princess. The tales can be found in practically every novel ever written or film produced. They are what we want to read, see and hear. The stories are told and endure so that we can identify and follow the hero path in our personal lives.

The work of Joseph Campbell has been compelling to me. He made the point that everyone is the hero of their own story. It is being written from the time of our birth until we draw our last breath. The acceptance of this fact, whether we choose to participate and engage life with that knowledge, is relevant only to the extent that we meaningfully play the part. Sitting on the side of the road and waiting for something to happen is as much a tale as crossing the threshold and slaying our personal dragons. Either way, it is the process that underlies any growth, learning, and self discovery.

The idea is to accomplish something that transcends the ordinary. These situations present themselves in every challenge or change that happens in our lives. Every love found or lost, every birth and death presents the prospect of transformation. Every move to a new school, job, or town opens the chance to stop being what we were and to start becoming who we can be. Every situation which confronts us with something new or which forces us to re-evaluate ourselves presents us with possibilities for insight and growth.

We can own the fact that we are the hero and, in so doing, will discover that we have defined ourselves too narrowly. There will be a transformation in our behavior. We find ourselves with a new perspective and skills needed to face challenges that present themselves. We begin to act with honor and gain the wisdom to guide others through their own challenges. There is no time like the present to seize the opportunity. This is the way to a life filled with flavor and adventure.

Don't Worry

There are so many things to worry about. We are barraged with alarming information every day that causes us to be concerned. Big things are always going on. There are terror attacks, wars, nuclear threat and natural disasters that come into our living rooms through newscasts as often as we want to tune into them. Vivid images of tragedy play out before our very eyes. Then there are personal worries. Our parents are getting older and forgetful. Our children seem to be at risk continually. Financial problems and difficulties at work keep us awake at night. There is just no getting around it. The problems of life and the things that we face are troubling. Worrying will do absolutely nothing to solve any of it. The more we worry the more we become emotionally, spiritually and even physically crippled.

It does not matter whether a situation is real or imagined. Nothing is ever gained by fretting over it. Clear thinking becomes clouded and decision making is hampered. We begin to develop a fight or flight response as the intensity of worry increases. We have to either get away or kick some butt to find relief. Other negative behaviors crop up around worry. Many people complain that they have fantasies of death or of being someone else, preoccupation with money and an escalation of drinking or other substance use. We still worry on despite the fact that it never accomplishes anything, that it causes irrational thinking and creates negative behaviors. We just cannot seem to stop. The more we try the worse it gets.

There are is a relatively simple technique that is helpful in eliminating, or at least easing, worry. It involves making a list of all of the issues that are causing us concern. Things always have way of shrinking in size when we write them down. The next step is to allow ourselves to worry later. Postponing worry by giving ourselves permission to do it in the future is a proven method for tricking the brain into believing that the thoughts which are consuming it will be dealt with when appropriate. It is a psychological technique that actually lets you forget the worry. It will break the continual habit of worrying and allow happiness in the moment. Once we have broken the cycle our worries will begin to diminish and resolve themselves.

Everything will work out one way or the other. We can do whatever is possible to resolve our problems and let go of that which is beyond us. Remember the serenity prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Don’t Worry...Be Happy!

Go For The Gusto!

We each have the unique opportunity to hold life in our hands with wonder and awe. The moment that we are experiencing right now is extraordinary, amazing and sacred. There are miracles happening all around us. It is estimated that the population of the world in May, 2010 was 6,821,200,000. Imagine the reality of six billion eight hundred million experiences of life all happening right now. Each of us has a different perspective of what is truly going on. Every possible human emotion and life event is occurring. There is joy, sorrow, ecstasy, despondence, war, peace, birth, marriage and death. It would take an eternity to fully understand this one single moment in time from the irreplaceable viewpoint of all of the people who are in it. Why, then, would any of us be so self centered to think that we have all of the answers? We cannot even comprehend the very second that we having right now. We do not know when, how or where we are going to die. We are given this gift of here and now to treasure. Only a grateful heart and a sense of appreciation should accept it. What is our plan to deal with these singular wild and precious moments?

We don’t want to end up simply having visited this world. It is only possible to live fully if we abandon all notions of superiority, self importance or great wisdom. Little children are much closer to the truth than adults. They do not claim to have the answers. Like them, we must walk through the door of the present with curiosity and wonder. Everything is filled with possibility. Everyone is here to have a part of it. It is wasted only if we are closed off and self absorbed. We are called to participate with some measure of enthusiasm. Give up the narrow viewpoint. Let go of the doomsday attitude. There are fields of flowers and amazing discoveries to be had. The fullness of time is available. There is nothing to stop us except self conceived limitations. George Bernard Shaw observed that many of us live life as a "feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."  We have another chance right now.  Let’s go for the gusto!

Mothers

We do not get to choose our biological parents. They are chosen for us and, in turn, give us the unique combination of genetic codes and markers that make us the matchless human beings that we are. They raise us. This happens sometimes to our liking and often not. It is our nature to grow apart as we experience distinctive events, both large and small. Behaviors and behavior patterns emerge that become the hallmark of our daily survival. These are primarily shaped by praise and punishment of mothers. It is not that fathers are always absent or uninvolved. The mothers are just set up to nurture. We spend years breaking away.

The separation that occurs as we become more and more independent is a source of pride and pain for mothers. We experience joy, fear and exhilaration as we spread our wings often hurrying back to the protection of her loving arms. Finally the day comes and we are out on our own. The nest is empty for the most part and the mothers wait patiently for us to return. We really never do. We visit and sometimes even move back in for awhile. But the child is gone. A lifelong empty space is the mother’s burden.

I remember feeling that emptiness in my own mother. She had lived a life that had numerous losses and tragedies. Two wonderful husbands and two children were taken from her. All she had left was me. I tried to be attentive by stopping by frequently. She was deeply lonely in her last years despite my best efforts. Mom would brighten when I would come and our conversations were lively. She would watch me leave with sadness and her darkness would return. “Will I see you tomorrow?” she would ask. I would assure her that she would. Life was not heading in a good direction for me. Money was tight. Drinking was becoming a real problem. My marriage was fragile. She was doing everything she could to help me while I was attempting to help her. She died trying. My world continued to spin out of control for several years but eventually came together. I don’t think that she would have necessarily approved of my choices and decisions but things have worked out. I have been sober for ten years. I remarried after finding a terrific woman who is my friend and soul mate. I have relationships with two of my three children. My career is rewarding. Life is good.

I wish that Mom could have been spared the intensity of anguish in her life. I wish that I could have been a better son. That's the way that it is for most of us. We become orphans at some point. Finally there is no parent to correct our path and we yearn for mothering. We would love to hear the words of our childhood from mother who says “Don’t worry honey. Everything will be okay.” But the truth of that statement can still resound in our lives. They are bread for the journey. They offer a perspective that we can always tap. Thanks Mom. I know.

Life Is Short

Anyone who has known me for any length of time, or who has been the recipient of my emails or blog, is well aware that I am continually trying to communicate that Life Is Good. I have it plastered on my car, have tee shirts and hats that say it and even had it chiseled on my gravestone. It is a generational message passed on from my Grandfather and Dad. Despite this, the perspective is sometimes lost even to me. Fate has a way of handing out difficult situations for all of us. They crop up and occupy enough space that the truth of life's goodness is blotted out. It happens to everyone. You can’t be on the planet for very long without receiving bad news or being overwhelmed by something or another. Perhaps there is another little phrase that should go along with Life Is Good. It is this. Life Is Short.

Nothing can buy us an extra day or an extra minute of life. And we are only here for a minute. Life Is Short. There is absolutely no hardship, misfortune or tragedy that will last forever. A friend of mine in Atlanta ten years ago told me that 'things come to pass, they don’t come to stay'. I was reminded of that today at work. It may seem that a difficulty has overtaken us and that nothing is ever going to be right again. But that is utterly untrue. Everything will change and everything will be good again. There is absolutely no chance that things will remain the same.

So the wisdom is to accept reality and celebrate the fact that we are still breathing, still standing and will make it to the other side. If we are not still standing we need to get back up and give it another try.  There will come a time for the final curtain. It would be a shame when that happens to have missed the chance to have a great time because we were busy worrying, whining and wallowing in misery. We can leave something positive with every arrival, every encounter and every departure. Or we can spread sadness, gloom and doom. One is as easy to do as the other. I opt for the positive. Life Is Good. Life Is Short. I will say it again.  "Everything is a celebration. You just have to decide whether you are going to the party or not."

Following The Questions

Monarch Butterfly Chrysalis ~ Photo by Steve Magin

Our times have been filled with economic difficulty, violence and deep concerns about security. The author and spiritual mentor, Henri Nouwen once said that “We are tempted to grasp rapid solutions instead of inquiring about the validity of the questions.” The desire to find immediate answers and to act with impunity is overwhelming. We want an end to discomfort and worry and we want it now. Rushing to the quick fix, however, rarely provides lasting healing. We discover that promises for a better tomorrow, which are to be delivered in short order, empty and disappointing. We are left with even more worry and insecurity.

The questions that we formulate and ask contain the most important clues to our solutions. How can I find economic safety for myself and my family? How can I be secure without sacrificing my freedom? How can I put an end to the violence in my life which results from anger? It is our mission to follow these questions with deliberate action. We live out the action daily, one day at a time, until someday we find ourselves living a life that is free from the problems that seem so persistent.

We should also understand that the desperate need for answers will seldom be found in our own construct. We come to a growing awareness that God is in charge of the outcomes. All we have to do is the next right thing. Solutions or closure will unfold somewhere in between “already” and “not yet”. We must be patient and have faith.

The Legacy of Love

It is Valentines Day 2010. My wife, Bonita, and I have plans to enjoy a brunch in Greenville, South Carolina at a favorite restaurant called High Cotton. Our celebrations are always warm and intimate. No fanfare for the most part. We live far from our relatives and children so it is usually just the two of us. We don’t require much (there is a bit of old fashioned Midwestern simplicity to us as we grow older). The love that we share is more than enough. It has been tested over the years, survived and flourished. There is rarely a day that goes by in which either of us takes it for granted. Love, in the final analysis is all that matters. It is all that endures. I have been blessed with one that will leave a legacy of forgiveness, patience, kindness and joy. My life will always resound with all that is my Bonita.

A woman wrote a historical piece which was published in a county history book about my grandfather’s sister, Miss Nelle Baum. Aunt Nelle was a person who lived much of her life in confinement with what must have been great physical suffering. An operation left her paralyzed in the prime of her life yet she radiated a quality of love and joy that lived long after her death in 1961 at age 75. She never married and left no great fortune behind. What she did was to endow her family, friends, caregivers and everyone she met with a feeling of specialness and unconditional love. She was dedicated to this from her days as a Sunday School superintendant at her Methodist Church in rural Illinois to her hospital bed in Danville. She inspired people to be gentle and compassionate. My Dad and I visited her almost every Sunday and she always acted as if we were the most important people in the world. There were always words about her faith in God. She was a deeply spiritual person. Even so, it amazed me when I re-read the article that this woman wrote about Aunt Nelle. She was not related to us at all. I never met her or heard of her. Yet, my great aunt left an indelible mark on her life. She wrote of her own difficulties and how this elderly invalid woman had given her strength and increased her devotion. This affirms my belief that true love endures and overcomes anything.

There is nothing that we carry away with us when we are done with this life. Our heartaches and troubles come to an end. Love is all that matters. With it anything is possible and everything is good. The legacy that it leaves is never-ending.

On Becoming

The good news of living life is that there is no absolute destination. The journey does not end with the events that we rush towards. We do not arrive at marriage, graduation, parenthood, a great job or retirement to remain there forever. Neither do we end with the death of our bodies. Everything continues to change, evolve and transform despite the desire that we have to stop and stay.

The brain that we are given has the notion that it is who we are. It is, in fact, merely an organ that is in charge of survival. The brain monitors everything that happens and orders responses based upon behaviors that have successfully gotten us through in the past. Its job is to maintain a physical and emotional balance for optimum longevity.

The earliest spiritual question that is asked by most people is “Who am I”. This great query does not beg an answer. It asks us to begin searching. Our culture counters the spiritual question with a material one. We are asked from the time that we are very young, "What do you want to do" and "What do you want to be" . Those questions have answers. They can be solved but do almost nothing to enlighten us. They set a path with a false sense of destination.

We are not a career choice with a retirement plan. Our true identity is a spirit and energy that comes from the source and returns to the source. We are eternal beings in process.  There is no real sense in looking toward an ending with answers.  The true adventure happens when we get on the ride and just let go.  Savor the experience, listen and learn.  We are all truly becoming.

Changing Attitudes & Latitudes

The news of the day has been filled with catastrophic economic forecasts, anguish and the predictable finger pointing on all sides. The years of work that I have done with kids and adults in trouble makes this mind set seem somehow normal. My clients are experiencing situations that have shaken their foundations and turned their lives upside down. The first thing that we try to adjust, after crisis intervention, is attitude and outlook. This is a realignment of self concept and perspective…and it is critical to change and empowerment.

Developing a positive perspective and positive thinking result in a demeanor that anticipates successful outcomes, happiness, joy, bliss and good health. It is important to visualize and verbalize the constructive and beneficial aspects of every situation. Picture the way that you want things to turn out and move forward as if it has already happened. This will remove roadblocks and negate the comments of those who might not support or appreciate your efforts. Put a positive spin on things by practicing affirmative self talk.

Examples of this might be saying things like:

• This is an opportunity to learn something new!
• There is a solution to every problem!
• I’m going to take a chance!
• There is another way to open up a channel of communications!
• Let’s look at this from a different angle!

Remember to stay away from self blame, avoid making things out as a disaster and that few things are black or white. The Zen Master said that the sky is blue regardless of what we see. He is right. Shades of grey and storms won’t last forever. Hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky. Mishaps and interruptions occasionally block the brilliance of our lives. But, like the rainy weather, will clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon. I am living and working in Florida right now. It rains a lot…and just before it clears…there is frequently a rainbow. You can count on things getting better. It helps if you participate in the process.

A September 11 Perspective

This article about September 11, 2001 was written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title 'C'ntarea Americii, (meaning: 'Ode To America ') in the Romanian newspaper Evenimentulzilei (meaning: 'The Daily Event' or 'News of the Day') As we remember the tragedy of that September day in 2001 and recall the great suffering of our nation let us also celebrate the personal freedom that we share in The United States of America;

~An Ode to America ~

Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs.
Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a hand put on the heart.Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the Army, or the Secret Service that they are only a bunch of losers.
Nobody rushed to empty their bank accounts.
Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape about.
Instead the Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the national flag. They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a government official or the president was passing. On every occasion, they started singing: 'God Bless America!'
I watched the live broadcast and rerun after rerun for hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with the terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a target that could have killed other hundreds or thousands of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human being? Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes. And with every phone call, millions and millions of dollars were put into a collection aimed at rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land? Their history? Their economic power? Money?
I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding commonplace, I thought things over, I reached but only one conclusion...
Only freedom can work such miracles.
Cornel Nistorescu

Slow Down You Move Too Fast

“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life” ~ Rachel Carson

We are fascinated by a little inch worm making his way along a twig, a frog sitting on a lily pad, the patterns of frost on the window when we are children. The beautiful details are everywhere and we lie on the front lawn and marvel at them. Clouds have shapes that turn in to Mickey Mouse. Birds all make different songs for us to imitate. We go inside and our parents ask “What have you been doing?” and we can’t even begin to tell them. Don’t they KNOW ?

The problem is that the adults have mostly forgotten. They are too busy with jobs and shopping…cooking and cleaning… being responsible for something or another…to slow down and appreciate the mysteries and miracles around them. They grew up and have taken the details for granted. They think that there is not enough time. A friend told me that she needs peace in her life. Peace is all around us. We only have to lie down on the front lawn to witness it’s awe.

How can I slow down and savor life today?

Reflection 2007

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves" ~ Bill Vaughn

Ringing in a New Year is a tradition that is often filled with celebration. Some of us host parties, are invited to the homes of friends, go out to lavish galas, drink too much champagne and set off fireworks. It is a time to say goodbye and a time to look forward for possibilities. For some others of us it is a time of feeling apart, a time of regrets and resentments, a time to look at what might be coming next with dread. How can this occsdion present such pairs of opposites?

Perhaps we put a little too much emphasis on the endings and beginnings of this annual calendar change…and perhaps not. It is a chance to look at who we are and who we are becoming. It is an opportunity to make changes, offer amends and clean up our mistakes. We can do a lot more than list our resolutions. This is the perfect time to make a spiritual adjustment. Let’s really begin to slow down and live a day at a time. Come to terms with the fact that the past is what it is and that the future is not a reality. Get up in the morning with a clear plan to “do the next right thing” in every situation that we face…and when we don’t…make the adjustment, clear the air and move along. This is how life becomes the celebration that God intends for us to enjoy.

My resolution this year is to truly live a day at a time