Life Is Short

Anyone who has known me for any length of time, or who has been the recipient of my emails or blog, is well aware that I am continually trying to communicate that Life Is Good. I have it plastered on my car, have tee shirts and hats that say it and even had it chiseled on my gravestone. It is a generational message passed on from my Grandfather and Dad. Despite this, the perspective is sometimes lost even to me. Fate has a way of handing out difficult situations for all of us. They crop up and occupy enough space that the truth of life's goodness is blotted out. It happens to everyone. You can’t be on the planet for very long without receiving bad news or being overwhelmed by something or another. Perhaps there is another little phrase that should go along with Life Is Good. It is this. Life Is Short.

Nothing can buy us an extra day or an extra minute of life. And we are only here for a minute. Life Is Short. There is absolutely no hardship, misfortune or tragedy that will last forever. A friend of mine in Atlanta ten years ago told me that 'things come to pass, they don’t come to stay'. I was reminded of that today at work. It may seem that a difficulty has overtaken us and that nothing is ever going to be right again. But that is utterly untrue. Everything will change and everything will be good again. There is absolutely no chance that things will remain the same.

So the wisdom is to accept reality and celebrate the fact that we are still breathing, still standing and will make it to the other side. If we are not still standing we need to get back up and give it another try.  There will come a time for the final curtain. It would be a shame when that happens to have missed the chance to have a great time because we were busy worrying, whining and wallowing in misery. We can leave something positive with every arrival, every encounter and every departure. Or we can spread sadness, gloom and doom. One is as easy to do as the other. I opt for the positive. Life Is Good. Life Is Short. I will say it again.  "Everything is a celebration. You just have to decide whether you are going to the party or not."

Possibilities and Action

Path to Mountain Cabin ~ Photo by Steve Magin

We wake up every day to a fresh start with new opportunities. There is always the possibility of growth, development and change. This is the miraculous truth of life. The weight of the burden we carry can be put aside if we really want to do so. We are never really stuck in the rut that we might have imagined. Yesterday’s wounds, troubles and frustrations have faded into the mist of history. The mistakes that we have made do not have a life sentence attached to them. They haunt us only if we continue to repeat them. All that must happen to improve the outcome is simple, thoughtful performance.

There is no limit to the number of possibilities that are before us. We are limited only by our perception of our abilities. Nothing can stand in our way unless we bow to its inevitability. Difficulty does not spell doom. It merely means that we have to expend different energy, be more creative and be persistent. We can choose to celebrate this truth.

We have great cause to celebrate life in the fullness of time today. What kind of difference can we make with an attitude of celebration? We can fulfill our own dreams, create our own reality and inspire others with a sense of optimism. Nothing is as infectious as someone who is overflowing with passion and ignited with purpose. Life itself is the definitive adventure. We can engage it completely with positive action.

Fat Tuesday

Everything is a celebration. You just have to decide whether to go to the party or not!  I repeat my personal motto for today is the worldwide celebration known as Mardi Gras or Carnival.  People in New Orleans, Savannah, Rio De Janeiro, Salvidor and elsewhere are taking off the gloves and mixing it up in a terrific party with parades, floats, beads, costumes, food and drink.  Vancouver, the sight of the Winter Olymics, is having a double celebration this year.  It is a day for suspending diets, throwing off restrictions and letting go of unnecessary caution.  Please notice the word unnecessary.  We have the opportunity to live abundantly and with some increased flair.  Why not?  It is all in preparation for one of the most spiritual seasons of the year.  The contrast is stunning really.  We are getting ready to begin a path of self sacrifice in anticipation of Easter.  Our journey will be filled with a different kind of wonder as we make our way during the six weeks of Lent.

So, for today, let's do it!  Let's fill life with vitality and song.  There is no need to abuse ourselves.  We can celebrate without substances.  All we have to do is join in the fun.  Put on a mask.  Be silly.  Take a bunch of doughnuts to work.  Pick up a King Cake for dinner.  Wear beads.  Throw beads.  Just do something out of the ordinary and have a great time.  The words of Auntie Mame come back to me, "Live! Live! Live!  Life is a banquet and most of you suckers are starving to death!"  Make the decision.  Come to the party.

The Coming of The Wonderful

The readings for this last Sunday of Advent are a confirmation of the abundance that we have been expecting.  The wonderful is already here.  It was created in our dreams and through our faith and expectations.  That for which we have been longing has arrived.

The excitement that is felt by Elizabeth and Mary as described by Luke in his gospel message is undeniable.  Their joy cannot be contained.  Mary's announcement is received even by the baby in her cousin's womb.  Deliverance is at hand.  Everything that was hoped for is present in the very room where they are gathered. 

The truth of this advent story is the fact of our own lives.  The most wonderful things happen when we give up the doubts and misgivings that we harbor.  Light shines in the darkness.  Day overcomes night.  Want gives way to abundance.  Christmas is coming.  Nothing will stop it.  Love each other, celebrate, dance and join the feast.

Birthdays

The celebration of a birthday is truly unique in the scheme of our many festivities. It is the only time that we attend to only one single human being. We do not honor groups of soldiers, mothers, fathers, the sacred or profane. We pay homage to the one person who is having his or her special day. All of the attention, gifts and activities are devoted to the one and only who is marking the occasion of birth. I believe that this hoopla is appropriate, for there has never been one like you and there will never be another. This truth is encoded in your DNA which has evolved and has been encoded by parents, grandparents and generations of great grandparents into the dawn of humanity. Your combination of genes can never be exactly reproduced in the body of another. Even twins are unique and distinct. Your fingerprints are one of a kind. The mold has been broken!

I just had a birthday of my own. Fifty-nine years have passed since my arrival on the planet in Danville, Illinois. My wife treated me to an elegant brunch, home-made chocolate cake, two great presents and on and on. My wonderful cousin in Peoria sent a beautiful gift and counted down with daily phone calls. My life-long best friend sent seven cards over a ten day period. The well wishes and calls from my son and daughter, old friends and new friends were overwhelming. My co-workers took me out for lunch. Hard to top such a celebration! I am blessed. This is the spirit of happiness that everyone should experience! We are here for a short time, really. Why not take the opportunity to pay special attention to those with whom we interact? Throw a party! Break out the band and have a ball. There is no better time to do it than on the exceptional occasion of a birthday!

A Personal Philosophy

I have adopted a new personal philosophy or motto. It is not a major shift in the way that I see or approach life. It is a thought that took form in a conversation with my life-long friend yesterday. We were talking about rising from the ashes of disappointment and failings. He said that he appreciates the way that I have been able to remake or reframe my life after some rather difficult circumstances several years ago. My response was that "Everything is a celebration. You just have to decide whether to go to the party or not."

The attitude we cultivate determines how the things that are going on in our lives will affect us. We will find happiness and love if we meet our circumstances with a positive attitude, a smile on our faces and love in our hearts. That's the way that it works. We can find reasons around us to be angry, resentful, wounded and distraught. There is more than enough trouble to go around. It is also a fact that we are surrounded by incredible beauty, generosity and celebration.

There are times in which we must face the tragic. We cannot ignore crisis and poverty of spirit. I do not promote denial or putting our heads in the sand. I do endorse the proposition that practically any situation can be improved by the way we greet and handle it. We can always reach out, ask for help or lend a hand. We can always connect. There is always a way to lift our spirits and the spirits of others by offering a smile, kindness, a gentle touch and a soft ray of optimism. Resentment, anger, glum and pessimistic attitudes will only return increased negativity. They will never inspire or encourage anyone.

The question that leads us is whether we can acknowlege the negative while accentuating the good. Live life in a positive way. It can be done. It takes a conscious effort sometimes. But it can be done. We must embrace the here and now. It's time to come to the party.

Grief and Celebration

"I have always been alone, and I have never been alone.
What I used to call the self is a winnowing of light
in the flood plain of the boundless."
~ Margaret Gibson

Grief and Celebration are never far apart. We are guests at a wedding party and are swept over by a sudden sadness. An aspect of our life-long friendship with the groom is irreversibly changed now that he has given himself to his bride. We attend a funeral and there is a gathering at a restaurant afterwards where funny stories of the departed are traded among friends with drinks and toasts.

Palm Sunday is the beginning of Holy Week and, in a way, the end of Lent. It has always been interesting to me that all four gospels give us the image of God coming to us on a donkey. Here is celebration and grief in obvious coexistence. Christ is usually depicted as detached while the crowds of people are spreading palms in his path and shouting their greetings. He seems to be aware of both happiness and sadness. There is a peaceful acceptance here.

Our lives are often driven. We expect celebration and avoid grief. This is really impossible. The two are inseparable and we are called to the dance. Everything becomes more genuine, and our journey is enriched when we accept and embrace this reality.

What Makes Life Good?

I was asked by Steven, my terrific step-son, to write a short piece on "what makes life good" for a class that he is taking. Some of the things that I have included are restatements of previous entries. Still...I think they are worth remembering. I love the poem that is included. It was given to me by Alice Richards, a friend of the family. Alice was one of those people who really lived life with gusto. I will never forget her.

What are the things that make life good? My grandfather, Roy Jones, was one who seems to be able to grasp this better than most. He was saying “Life Is Good” as a motto long before it became a slogan. He was able to say it with conviction in the face of great happiness and extreme tragedy in his life. He lost everything that he owned in The Great Depression and lived to see his beloved wife die. A son committed suicide and a daughter struggled and succumbed to TB. A beautiful granddaughter was murdered. Still, he maintained his optimism and love of life. Still he said “Life Is Good!” It is hard for most of us to understand this. How does one maintain such a perspective? I think that it is a matter putting first things first. What really is important? An old man up in the mountains in North Carolina once said to me that he “never saw a U-Haul behind a hearse”. That is true, isn’t it? We put so much emphasis on financial success, the accumulation of possessions, influence and prestige. These, in the long run, mean absolutely nothing. When the scorecard is finally tallied, the only thing that matters is love. Did I love…and was I loved? Were there people who delighted in me and people in whom I was delighted? Did I laugh and celebrate with my loved ones? Did I take time to slow down and appreciate the beauty of everything around me? There was a great little poem called “I’d Pick More Daisies” by Nadine Stair (when she was 85). It goes like this:

If I had my life to live over,

I'd try to make more mistakes next time.

I would relax.

I would limber up.

I would be sillier than I have on this trip.

I would be crazier. I would be less hygienic.

I would take more chances,

I would take more trips.

I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and watch more sunsets.

I would burn more gasoline.

I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I am one of those people who lives prophylactically and sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I have had my moments

And if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them.

In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments…one after another instead of living so many years ahead each day. I have been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute.

If I had to do it over again,

I would go places and do things.

I'd travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,

I would start barefooted earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.

I would play hooky more.

I wouldn't make such good grades except by accident.

I would ride on merry-go-rounds.

I'd pick more daisies!

My Dad said that the things we take so seriously today won’t mean a thing in a hundred years. So here’s what sounds good to me. How about a nice glass of wine at sunset on the beach...sitting next to my darling wife…..joined by a couple of great friends…..watching our kids or future grandkids playing in the surf…..flying kites…..with the sounds of some old melody coming from a band in the distance…..getting up to dance a slow one together! Now that’s good. Who loves ya baby?