Happy New Year 2012

May God give you...

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

Our Best Resolution

A brand new year is coming! Many of us will celebrate with old traditions, friends and loved ones. Some of us will spend a quiet evening at home. Some of us will be alone. No matter how we mark the end of one year and greet the new one, it is customary to list the changes that we hope to make in the coming year. A New Year blessing that I heard once goes like this, “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.”

It is true that we usually fall back into the same old habits not long after January 1st but our intentions are good. I think that some of the desire to do better and to be better comes from the selfless behavior that is generated during Christmas. We wish that we could continue to appreciate each other and extend ourselves as we have done for the weeks prior to the end of the year. There is a beautiful work of art shown above by the French baroque artist, Simon Vouet created in the seventeenth century. It depicts Love, Hope and Beauty overcoming Father Time. This is the victory that we long for as we make our resolutions. However, the seemingly relentless march of time catches us up with all of the duties and doings that occupy our every waking moment. Promises to change give way to busy schedules.

There is a story that I often tell which relates to this subject.  It goes like this:

The Devil has become concerned that there are not enough souls entering into his domain based upon calculations of population increase on Earth. He calls his three minions together and casts blame upon them for declining intake census. They are directed, one at a time, to go up to the land of the living and conduct some research that will turn the tide of souls in Hells favor. There is also a warning that accompanies The Devil’s command, “If your idea does not please me,” says Satan, “You will be reduced into eternal cinders by the power of my rod!” The first minion departs and returns shortly. He is asked for his findings and reports that “All we must do is spread the word that there is no God.” Lucifer becomes enraged. “No God! You fool! If there is no God there is no Me!” He points his dreaded staff at the minion and reduces him to ash. The second minion departs and spends quite a bit more time on Earth wandering about in fear of the consequences. He finally returns and has a slight air of confidence. He tells Satan, “All we must do is tell the people that the holy scriptures of all religions are lies and must be destroyed!” The Devil becomes even more infuriated. He screams, “You idiot! Destroy the scriptures? Have you not heard that the rocks and stones themselves will testify in the absence of The Word?” The quaking minion meets the same fate as his fellow. Satan turns to the third of his subordinates. He said “You better make this good!” The third minion spent a long time in his research on Earth. When he finally returned The Devil was waiting with his staff already prepared for destruction. The little minion raised his hand and, with a slight smile, told Satan this, “I have the answer my Lord. All we have to do is tell the people that they have PLENTY OF TIME.” Satin smiled, knowing that the problem had been solved.

We have this moment, here and now. It is our opportunity to not only make a resolution that will be meaningful, but one that will truly overcome Father Time. It is summed up in the wisdom and teachings of the ages. We should not discount it for what seems to be simplicity. For it is far from simple. The ultimate resolution is this. Love one another. After all is said and done; only love endures.

New Year Reconciliation

Rembrandt's Prodigal Son

Many of us have a tradition of making resolutions for the New Year.  We give some thought to how we would like to improve ourselves and create a better coming year.  This is certainly one of the best customs that we follow.  It is true that many of the promises fade into oblivion prior to the Spring Thaw but some of them do not.  We really do put an effort into changing.  What a wonderful transformation might occur if one of those resolutions was to begin engaging in the process of reconciliation with those people that we have wronged or who have harmed us.  The weight of resentment would be lifted from our shoulders.  Our world would be made over with the clouds of bitterness dispelled.

Reconciliation is very different from forgiveness.  Forgiveness means letting go of the offenses that have caused us pain and suffering.  It means releasing thoughts of revenge and retribution.  We do not need an apology from the person who has harmed us.  Forgiveness is first and foremost for the forgiver.  The other person may never know what you have done.  Your heart is unburdened by the past that is unchangeable.

Reconciliation is a commitment to the future. This process, unlike forgiveness, cannot happen unilaterally.  It means actually returning to some degree of friendliness between parties.  A mutual trust has to be reestablished. The first step to reconciliation requires that we accept our own part in the wrongdoing.  We cannot be reconciled if we hold ourselves completely innocent.  We have to establish that each person is responsible for their own actions and that all of us have a right to our feelings and perceptions.  We must commit to ethical standards that enable us to trust that we won’t be hurt in the future.

Genuine reconciliation cannot solely be based on a desire for harmony. It requires a mutual commitment. There are four ethical principles which are indispensable foundations for meaningful reconciliation.

1.  First do no harm

2.  Everyone deserves respect

3.  We have a responsibility to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person

4.  We are always responsible for our own actions

Forgiveness alone isn’t enough to make reconciliation possible. It’s only possible when both parties in the dispute have the willingness, maturity, integrity, and honesty that are essential to the process. Forgiveness is never impossible even in cases where there is no chance for reconciliation. May this new year be one in which we all attempt to engage in amends making, forgiveness and reconciliation.

Looking Back

Celebration of the New Year gives us the unique opportunity to reflect.  This marks the end of the first decade of the century.  We have experienced triumph and defeat, joy and sorrow, abundance and loss.  Our personal lives have been changed in ten years.  We are older and more experienced.  It would be appropriate if our reminiscence of the year and decade included the harm that we might have unintentionally or intentionally inflicted. It is impossible to think that we have lived without somehow damaging or offending others.  This is a good time to sort it all out.

Sometimes we leave damage in our wake despite the best intentions. People have feelings that are hurt because we were seemingling thoughtless or reckless.  We have done or failed to do things that have damaged relationships.  This creates a need for reconciliation by the making of amends. We must first admit our wrongdoing and apologize.  Then we proceed to set things right. We make ourselves vulnerable and  take down the walls that separate us by doing this. Finally, we pledge to refrain from the damaging behavior in the future.

The healing that springs forth from reconciliation is beyond our greatest expectations. We begin to live a life without regrets. Trust and harmony become the cornerstones of our relationships. We find ourselves as the benefactors and recipients of love and compassion. We build coalitions instead of seeking isolation. Diversity is no longer frightening. There is nothing that is so important that it should stand in the way of this miraculous process. What a terrific way to turn the new page of 2010.

New Years Eve

There was a sundial behind the old Tyson mansion in the woods near my boyhood home in Danville, Illinois. It was placed in a little nook overlooking the lake and had the inscription that can be seen in the picture above. The words were confusing, haunting, and almost scary to me back then. My best friend and I would be chasing butterflies or heading back to work on our hidden fort and I would always stop to look at that old sundial. "Grow old along with me!, I would think, That's stupid...who wants to get old anyway?"...and then I would run on.

Now, as an older man, I understand. The best is coming. The best of life and of love and of all that God and the universe have to send is ready to be received. All that is required is my open hand and open heart.

This is the final curtain call for 2008. We are called to live in this and every day fully. There is no time to wonder about yesterday or to regret our mistakes. This is our fresh moment, unsullied chance and new beginning. We have the opportunity to squeeze out every drop of the moment and let them fall where they may. Some will evaporate and some will be rainbows. It may sound silly but it is true. Live, love, laugh and be happy!

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'” ~ Robert Browning

Happy New Year

"The tumult and the shouting dies;
The captains and the kings depart:
Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice,
An humble and a contrite heart.”
~ Rudyard Kipling (Recessional Hymn)

It is a new year. Our calendar turns again if only to remind us that we have an opportunity. We may envision a new beginning and enjoin our hopes, dreams and resolutions with those of so many others who are doing the very same thing today. This is the day that we can see the crossroads at which we stand and make a decision that will change the course of our lives. This is the day.

The New Year is the perfect time to ask myself two burning questions:

• When all is said and done...What is important?

Stand back a look at the big picture. You have principles and dreams. Life is too short not to follow and be true to them. Don’t put them aside anymore.

• Are the things that I am doing helping or hurting (myself, the ones that I love, the community at large)?

The impact that you have is immeasurable no matter how insignificant you THINK that you are. Make every moment count.

Everything will be better if you follow these questions in 2008. Life will be good. Explore. Dream and Discover. Change the world today!

"Le present est gros de l'avenir" (The present is big with the future)

Reflection 2007

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves" ~ Bill Vaughn

Ringing in a New Year is a tradition that is often filled with celebration. Some of us host parties, are invited to the homes of friends, go out to lavish galas, drink too much champagne and set off fireworks. It is a time to say goodbye and a time to look forward for possibilities. For some others of us it is a time of feeling apart, a time of regrets and resentments, a time to look at what might be coming next with dread. How can this occsdion present such pairs of opposites?

Perhaps we put a little too much emphasis on the endings and beginnings of this annual calendar change…and perhaps not. It is a chance to look at who we are and who we are becoming. It is an opportunity to make changes, offer amends and clean up our mistakes. We can do a lot more than list our resolutions. This is the perfect time to make a spiritual adjustment. Let’s really begin to slow down and live a day at a time. Come to terms with the fact that the past is what it is and that the future is not a reality. Get up in the morning with a clear plan to “do the next right thing” in every situation that we face…and when we don’t…make the adjustment, clear the air and move along. This is how life becomes the celebration that God intends for us to enjoy.

My resolution this year is to truly live a day at a time