The Beloved

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love,

where there is injury, pardon

where there is doubt, faith,

where there is despair, hope,

where there is darkness, light,

where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

not so much to be understood as to understand,

not so much to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.

The life of Saint Francis is a model for our relationship with God. He gives us the exemplar of lover and beloved. Francis had a love affair with God.  His personal story teaches us that we each are called to be the beloved. We are the ones who are pursued by God throughout all of time and eternity. We are chosen by him and carry the mark of his unqualified, unconditional love. Why, then, are we continually struggling?  Why do we experience such sadness, lonliness, darkness and pain? 

The paradoxical nature of our lives can be better understood when we absorb the Saint Francis Prayer. Troubles and difficulties that plague us can begin to be understood as gifts that lead us...just as the prodigal son was lead…back home and into the loving embrace of God our father. We hear the words that were given to the resentful son: “I am with you always and everything I have is yours” (Luke 15: 11-32). The Prayer of Saint Francis tells us that it is in forgiving that we are forgiven, in loving that we are loved and in understanding that we are understood. In other words, God seeks us regardless of our situation. This love is the very basis of our identity.

The knowledge of our incredible identity can enable us to make better decisions and improve our relationships with loved ones and other people in our lives. It allows us to discard negative depictions that detractors might try to hang around our shoulders. We are able to understand that the perspectives of others are truly only opinions and are filtered through their limited experiences with us. The only clear vision of our identity is the one of God, the lover. If we can only grasp a small measure of this identity and this relationship we will begin to act unencumbered by negativity. All we have to do is to remember who we are.

Examining Self

Monarch Free of His Chrysalis ~ Photo by Steve Magin

The season before Easter for Christians is intended to be one of self examination. Lives are transformed when people enter in to deep and sustained spiritual personal reflection. I am reminded of a man named John O'Donohue. He was a catholic priest from County Clare, Ireland. His poetry, prose and spirituality transcended the boundaries of his priesthood and he abandoned his vocation. This did not mean that the depth of his journey was diminished. On the contrary, it broadened. The painful self examination that led him to make this decision allowed him to contribute even more writings and books that continue to inspire after his death. The books Anam Cara, (Gaelic for "Soul Friend"; 1997) and Eternal Echoes (1998) are treasures that should be part of the library of any who search for meaning. I remember that he once said "If you attend to your self and seek to come into your own presence, you will find exactly the right rhythm for your own life." We are asked to enter in to this sometimes painful process that John experienced in order to live more fully.

I found myself in treatment for alcohol dependence back in 2000. The struggle with drinking had taken a great toll on my life. Despite the fact that I had long worked in the field of addiction and adolescent services, the facts of my own compulsion escaped me. I could help others with their problems but could not grasp my own. One of the counselors at Talbott Recovery Campus insisted that my primary responsibility was to take care of myself. I was to put everything else behind this directive including my children, wife, job and friends. I recoiled at the very suggestion. It seemed not only selfish but narcissistic. The truth became clear, however, that in order to live in service to others I would have to work on myself first. I would also have to continue to attend to me if I was to be useful in the future. There is no way to be effective externally if there is only a limited journey inward. I am not always happy with my findings. There is more on which to work.  There is more to explore. The fruit of this kind of search is the discovery of our true identity. We are all an integral part of the whole. We are all kin. We are the beloved. This information is all that we need to sustain ourselves for whatever life offers.

Answers In The Snow

A single snowflake!
Photo Courtesy of SnowCrystals.com

The winter snow seems to be endless and everywhere by the first of February.  We are tired of scooping, scraping and being trapped inside.  Enough of the white stuff already!  My son, Steven, is one who never seems to be weary of it.  It's not like he is a little kid or someone who is inexperienced with all of the down sides of long winters.  He is an adult who was born and spent much of his early life in Michigan. He just delights in it.  One of his Facebook entries from last week proclaimed "Let It Snow, Let It Snow!"  The responses from friends and family were not so enthusiastic.  He reminds me that there is always something magical about snow.  It has elements of childhood, surprise and beauty that we should explore rather than shun.  Within each snowfall are thousands and thousands of unique snowflakes which serve to remind us of who we are. 

Our unique self, like a snowflake, will never be duplicated.  The evidence of this is everywhere.  Our DNA is comprised of markers that are arranged only for one person.  It never has been and never will be again.  Only you!  Even twins do not have the same DNA.  The combination of parents, grandparents and countless generations of ancestors each give us a gift of themselves in the pattern that becomes you.  It took thousands of years to come up with the design for each individual.  And here we are.  Our uniquess can be found in fingerprints.  Each time we touch something we leave a stamp of our existence behind.  We are here and we are one of a kind.  The mold has been broken.

We have an individual and divine purpose in our uniqueness. The odds of your random creation are so small that it is incomprehensible.  Wayne Dyer talks about the fact that a great wind sweeping through a garbage dump, gathering up all of the pieces and setting them down as a fully assembled Boeing 747 is more likely than the exclusive collection of cells and tissue that is you.  We matter simply because of this.  Our importance cannot be understated.  Some incredible love story of our creator has to be at work here.  Such a miracle as you can have no other explanation.

The answer to the questions 'Who Am I?' and "Where Am I going?' is this.  You are the beloved.  God's favor rests upon you.  You are on a one of a kind adventure that will never be duplicated.  Make the most of every bit of it.  Look at the snow.  Then all you have to do is remember.