Redemption and Recovery

Ebenezer Scrooge

“Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail…This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story.” ~ Charles Dickens

The classic Christmas Story is “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. It has been told over and over, filmed, cartooned and lampooned. Most people know it well. There is a special message for living life in this tale of death. The opening lines, captured above, set the stage for Ebenezer Scrooge’s redemption based upon his friend’s miserly demise. He is visited by this most important ghost forthwith. Jacob Marley wants for Scrooge to avoid the heavy chains that he has been doomed to carry. He warns, “I girded them on of my own free will and of my own free will I wore them.”

It takes a lot for Ebenezer Scrooge to change his life. He is an unwilling subject and comfortable in his misery. How many of us can admit the same sad condition? We seem to make the frequent choice to just keep doing what we have always done. Sure we have regrets. But it is too late to change now. Is it really? I think not. My own personal transformation from alcoholic to recovery is a testimony to this. In addition, I am surrounded by dozens and dozens of people who are making those hard changes every day. It is inspirational. Lives are not only saved but redeemed in ways that are almost unbelievable.

Redemption is a process. The 12 Steps that were discovered by Bill Wilson, Dr. Bob Smith and Alcoholics Anonymous are a means for achieving such deliverance. They closely match the journey of Ebenezer Scrooge. On the morning of his awakening, Scrooge finds that he has another chance at life. The Albert Finney musical version of “A Christmas Carol” delivers these lyrics in the song “Begin Again”: Scrooge says, “I’m alive! I’m alive! I’ve got a chance to change and I will not be the man I was.” Then the song starts:

I’ll begin again, I will build my life,
I will live to know that I’ve fulfilled my life.
I’ll begin today, throw away the past,
and the future I build will be something that will last.
I will take the time I have left to live,
and I’ll give it all that I have left to give.
I will live my days for my fellow men,
and I’ll live in praise of that moment when
I was able to begin again.
I will start a-new, I will make amends,
and I’ll make quite certain that the story ends
on a note of hope, on a strong amen,
and I’ll thank the world and remember when
I was able to begin again.

He then sets out to do the work of repairing his wrongdoing and carelessness. He sends a Christmas turkey to his clerk and his poor family for a feast. Then he dresses and goes out into the town heading for church. Scrooge finds one of the gentlemen that he has berated in his shop the day before. The man had been taking up a collection for the poor and only received a lecture on the folly of his endeavors. Scrooge approaches him, asks forgiveness and makes such a generous contribution that the man is overwhelmed. He tells the man “A great many back-payments are included in it, I assure you.” Afterwards he goes to church and wanders about the streets patting children on the head, assisting beggars and enjoying every sight and sound of the day. The Alistair Sim version of the story has him approach his nephew’s house. He encounters his nephew’s wife saying, “Can you forgive a pig-headed old fool with no eyes to see with and no ears to hear with all these years?” Scrooge makes direct amends. He then goes about the business of living life differently. Dickens puts it well in the closing of the story:

Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!

This Total Abstinence Principle was not a way of life that Dickens endorsed. But he was well aware that it was necessary for those who have the mission of redemption in heart and mind. It is necessary for us because we have so much to do. We are beginning again.

New beginnings are not just about avoiding negativity and wasting time. They are about the death of our old selves. They involve identification with the highest part of us. We are called to live out an expression of goodwill, joy, compassion, generosity, forgiveness, wisdom and peace. When we make this kind of change we will have discovered the touchstone of our souls. We will be able to understand and celebrate with Scrooge as he says, “I am a light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man.”

Merry Christmas!

Splendid Transformations

From "We're No Angels" (1955)

One of my favorite Christmas movies was out of circulation, or difficult to find, for quite a while.  It was remade in 1989 but failed to inspire or amuse in the way of the 1955 version with Humphrey Bogart.  A favorite line from that 1955 classic is "We'll cut their throats for a Christmas present", Bogie, a convicted forger, remarks laconically. "That might spoil one's belief in Santa Claus." He and his pals, Peter Ustinov and Aldo Ray do no such thing of course.  They soften and somehow are transformed into human angels who save the day for the family that they were going to scam.  This theme of transformation is universally appreciated.

Stories, books and movies about transformation are a hallmark of the holiday season. We are fascinated by the incorrigible criminal who has his heart slowly softened by the people and events that surround him. It is captivating to watch the miserly old recluse become generous and loving. There is nothing funnier or more endearing than the fish-out-of-water finding a place to call home in an environment that had been hostile and unwelcoming. We just love to witness these kinds of changes. They lift us up and give us hope. Perhaps there is something even more compelling.

Rosabeth Moss Kant once said, "A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more." It is at the heart of our own journey in life that we would become the ideal person of our dreams. We would love to have a magic wand waved so that our character defects would become opportunities for improvement and then to overcome them in a grand transformation. There might not be a magic wand but there is an illumination to guide us. The love, generosity, kindness and compassion that emerge at Christmas have the power to change us. All we must do is to become willing.

Easter Sunday

There is a most profound question that is raised on Easter Morning.  It is posed by two men in dazzling garments who appear in a tomb, a burial chamber, to people who have come to verify the presence of a corpse.  The shock must have been incredible and the question more than compelling.  They asked, "Why do you seek the living one among the dead?"  This remains as intriguing now as it was two thousand years ago.  There is an empty tomb where we expected an abomination.  There are angels when we anticipated the horrific.  There is new life where we foresaw death.

We are called out of bondage on Easter.  We are called out of our narrow thinking and limited perspective into a new dimension of understanding.  It transcends the boundaries of religion, government and ideas about ourselves.  We are called to a new life without the comfort of "black and white" even to the extent that death is no longer death.  Earthbound eyes can no longer be fully trusted.  The spiritual experience is no longer separate or something that happens outside of us.  We don't have to wait for an apocalypse to find salvation.  The salvation has already been given freely to one and to all.  The kingdom and Easter are within each of us right here...right now.

The Easter Vigil

There comes a time when someone dies who we love dearly.  It is devastating.  Family and friends surround us, bring food and support that is at least vaguely comforting.  The funeral and burial happen in a matter of such a short time.  Then we are left alone.  There are promises, some of them kept, of staying in touch.  But within a few days we are on our own.  People go about the business of living and so must we.  The silence and emptiness is unbelievable.  It is a time of being between two worlds.  Nothing seems real anymore and we reside in a state of unknowing.  Our relationship with life is being redefined.  This experience is played out in The Great Easter Vigil.

Only a part of Christianity observes The Easter Vigil.  I'm not sure why it isn't more universal because the ritual is quite powerful.  The church is stripped of all vestments and ornamentation on Thursday night and remains barren through Good Friday and all day Saturday.  The water is drained from the fonts.  Lights are extinguished.  It is dark, silent and empty.  This is that period of in-between that we suffer after the funeral when family and friends depart.  Visiting the church during this time prior to the Easter Vigil is somehow comforting.  It gives us a sense of the universal experience of grief.  Then the most wonderful thing happens at dusk.  People gather outside of the church where a fire is started.  The priest lights the Easter candle from the fire and then everyone lights their own candle from it.  The light is returned to the inside of the church.  It is the victory of light over the darkness, good over evil, love over hatred and joy over sorrow.  This is the promise of new beginnings.

New Beginnings

Easter and Passover remind us that we have the incredible opportunity to begin again with each sunrise.  The things that did not turn out well, disappointments, tragedies and troubles of yesterday have vanished into thin air.  The new beginning is here and now.  How can we ever imagine the amazing things that might happen if we fully participate in the process of today as it unfolds?  We drop the idea of expectations and adopt an attitude of gratitude.  Of course good things will happen and some tough ones too.  The outcomes are determined by our positive thinking and resolution of beginning anew.

Walter Winchel once said that we should: "Remember today, for it is the beginning of always. Today marks the start of a brave new future filled with all your dreams can hold. Think truly to the future and make those dreams come true.”   We give up on dreams too easily.  They take a back seat to the daily grind of obligations.  I once had a young patient who was struggling with very painful issues of abuse and addiction.  He was only 14.  The gritty determination to be well that he had was inspiring.  At the close of his treatment he was on the road to real healing.  His mother asked for a few moments after his last session.  She thanked me for all of the help and began to weep.  What would become of her when Shane graduated from high school in a few years and she was left alone?  Her whole life had been dedicated, as a single Mom, to raising her only child.  Her dreams of becoming an attorney had dissolved along with her marriage years ago.  I asked her a simple question.  What would it take to start studying to be a lawyer right now?  She was dumbfounded.  That was a ridiculous question.  She could only possibly work in one class a semester (and that would be damn hard).  It would take ten years at least.  I asked another question followed by a statement.  What will happen if you don't do it?  In ten years you will be alone, working at a job that you hate.  Or you can be a lawyer in ten years.  The choice is yours.  She looked at me strangely, thanked me, and left.

I was living in the mountains of North Carolina three years after that conversation in Champaign, Illinois with Shane and his mother.  I got a phone call one evening and it was Shane.  He was bubbling over with news that he had just graduated from high school.  I congratulated him and told him how proud I was.  We talked for a few minutes and he asked if I would like to say hello to his Mom.  I agreed and he put her on the phone.  We were both thrilled for her boy.  Then she told me her own great story.  She had pursued the idea that we had talked about three years ago and things had gone well.  Very well.  Her announcement floored me.  She was going to sit for the Illinois Bar that summer.  Her dreams had come true.  Her positive spin on 'can do and will do' had changed her life.

The next time we face a difficulty we have a chance to wrestle with a ‘can do and will do’ state of mind.  We ‘can and will’ improve our situation rather than agonize over it.  We ‘can and will’ have the life that we have dreamed of having.  The only thing that can stop us is giving in and giving up. 

Easter Sunday

Our Monarch After First Flight ~ Photo by Steve Magin

There is something new that is happening! There is a light that has broken through the darkness. The new dawn and new day of Easter bring good news. It has been affirmed that our troubles, worries and fears have been overcome with love. Loneliness and sadness are banished. There is something more than death. Life has been revitalized. We can no longer doubt the truth of our identities. Each of us is the beloved child of God.

We walked through gardens yesterday in Memphis that celebrate spring with a display of more than 20,000 tulips. The soil, mild winters and hot summers of the south do not allow the bulbs to live from year to year. People have gone to great lengths and made tremendous sacrifice to dig and plant these brilliant bulbs that are perennial in the north. They are just going to rot and die. Why would they bother when there are so many other blooming plants that are native to the area? They do it to provide beauty and happiness in greater measure than it could have been experienced otherwise. Their visitors, most of whom are complete strangers to them, will find the brilliant greeting of glorious flowers in a land that does not support them. What a gift!

Why would God go to all of the trouble to give us Easter in an empty tomb? Perhaps it is because we are regarded that deeply. Perhaps it was to demonstrate that there is nothing more important than our relationship with Him. It is even more. It is an eternal love letter for one and for all that has been signed, sealed and delivered. What a gift! What an amazing day!

Living With Passion

  Monarch Preparing for First Flight ~ Photo by Steve Magin

Life should be lived passionately. The promises of Passover and Easter are ones of opportunity and second chances. It is beginning again just when we thought it was almost over. Enthusiasm should accompany this gift without a doubt but passion is the key element of renewal. It is easy to confuse passionate living with recklessness. The two are not compatible. Lust, power, greed and irresponsibility are symptoms of selfishness. Compassion, humility, generosity and dependability are the touchstones of action which generate from a spiritual and emotional wellspring of passion. It means being true to our principles and doing the right thing. It means putting family, friends and community first. It means following our dreams and bliss rather than money and prestige.

A friend of mine was a great businessman. He spent his hours developing a large concern that served hotels and casinos in the south. His successes were obvious. They were evidenced in a very comfortable lifestyle.  There was plenty of stress and many headaches as well. His time away from work was limited.  Then came Hurricane Katrina. Everything was blown or washed away. They lost their home, their employees were devastated, and the business was practically ruined. His despair was to be expected but his response was probably not. He and his wife have dedicated their lives to a new way of appreciation. They spend quality time with each other. They no longer collect meaningless possessions. They share their bounty of love and treasure with others. A new home was eventually purchased. The business was sold. Each day is now lived to the fullest. They are among the happiest people I know.

It does not necessarily take tragedy to redefine our lives. Often, however, it is that which seems to be an ending that awakens us to a new dawn. I have been including photographs of the transition and metamorphosis of a caterpillar to a monarch butterfly for the past several weeks. The metaphor is obvious. Our defined lives are never really defined until we turn them over to a power greater than ourselves. We wake up to find that we have changed and that flight is possible when it seemed we were destined to crawl. Be passionate with the gift. Live, live, live! Life is a banquet!

Life Is Good

There is a new life that presents itself each spring. Something magnificent, marvelous, extraordinary and sensational is going to happen. Like the sometimes slow and subtle emergence of spring, however, we often have to look for the little signs. There might just be a moment or there might be an explosion of happiness but a miracle will unfold if we are only willing to bear witness. The suffering and death that is experienced in winter have given way to new life. We cannot deny this reality.

There is always something hidden that holds the promise that is stronger than any despair or suffering that we have experienced. Our being open to possibilities rather than confining ourselves to limitations is a key to finding an end to desolation. We can begin to face the reality that life is made up of seasons. There is often great courage required in going through distress and difficulties. It is, however, going through them that allows us to survive and to find new hope. We will discover that where we had least expected there is light and a green shoot or blossom. We will develop a trust that God’s love is stronger than anything that we might encounter. His loving presence can be found in the midst of jealousy, resentment, revenge hatred and even death itself. It is this trust that allows us to carry on with a spirit of optimism and appreciation.

Spring is here.  Passover and Easter are coming!  Life Is Good!

To Begin Again

The signs of spring are beginning to show in the south. The seemingly dead ground is showing new life as the little crocus emerge from slumber. There is a promise of vibrancy as spring overcomes winter. Our struggle with cold weather and indoor confinement is almost at an end. Such is the rhythm of our existence. There are always new beginnings to be discovered. The possibility of change should never be in doubt.

Perhaps the most cruel thing that can be said of a person is that they will never change. I work in the field of addiction recovery. The people that we serve have been frequently accused of this. They are discounted and dismissed. Often, everyone in their lives has given up on them. Our patients are left feeling hopeless and alone. Nothing is as pitiful as those who come to believe that what they hear in this regard is true.  Of course nothing could be further from the truth. Each of us has the capacity for change regardless of the path that we have traveled, the wrongs that we have committed or the damage that we might have done. It is never too late.

It is as important to have hope for people as it is to have faith in the appearance of spring. We do not have to be naïve nor should we allow our expectations to overshadow reality. But we must allow for possibilities. We should be open to miracles. We will then begin to develop an acceptance of God’s ever changing creation and begin to understand that we are not in charge of it.

New Beginnings

Twelve years ago my wife Bonita and I left the office of our friend, Fr. Carl DelGiudice. The words that he gave us were powerful. “You are now as pure as the driven snow”. This spiritual affirmation guided us to our marriage ceremony at the beautiful outdoor chapel called "Pretty Place" at the Eastern Continental Divide with views of the Blue Ridge Mountains and lush Spring valleys of the Carolinas. We retraced our steps this weekend, attending Holy Saturday services in Brevard with Fr. Carl and then visiting Pretty Place this morning. It is Easter and we begin again. It is an illusion to think that anything else could be true, really.

The promise of new beginnings is that they are introduced at every turn. Not only do they shine in the morning sun but also emerge from the shadowy places. We have only to reach out and seize the opportunities that they present. Easter confirms this reality. The tomb is empty. Everything is new. The music of the flowery April sings in every moment that we live. When we fully comprehend this, even in a bleak December, we can embrace the fact that we are...as pure as the driven snow.