Moving On After Tragedy

“Let me arise and open the gate,
to breathe the wild warm air of the heath,
And to let in Love, and to let out Hate,
And anger at living and scorn of Fate,
To let in Life, and to let out Death.”
~ Violet Fane

The weight of past tragedies and misfortunes can bring it’s heaviness into our present lives. It rushes in on anniversaries of times in which we were overcome with sadness, fear, loneliness and despair. We can do little more to stop it than we can alter the course of the tides. It is important to acknowledge such times with some kind of commemoration or celebration. Pretending that they are not a part of our lives can cause real problems for us. Denial is a deadly emotional time bomb.

I met a woman and her children at the Names Project in Washington, DC several years ago. The AIDS quilt was being displayed in it’s entirety for the last time. The massive patchwork stretched from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial. I was overtaken with sadness, grief and confusion as I wandered among it’s many segments. Then I encountered this young mother. She was walking her two sons, age 11 and 13, through the quilt while gently talking about a part of the quilt that commemorated the life of victim after victim of AIDS. I felt comforted by her soft and inspired voice and followed a few steps behind. They came to stop at a piece. She said “Look boys, this was his teddy bear, a picture of his high school graduation, and a stitched note from your Uncle Tommy. Daddy loved him so much.” All three put their arms around each other and wept. They left after a few moments and I stared at the memories of this gay man who had lived a life apart from his wife and children. They had come to acknowledge his death, to grieve and to celebrate. I later saw the mother and boys at the gift shop buying Red Ribbon tee shirts. They were making plans to visit sites in our nation’s capitol. Life, death, joy and sadness were all being experienced. All with an eye on the future.

It is this vision of what can be that puts the past in perspective. We are called to be persistent as well as to be patient with ourselves and others. We are called to live life to its fullest.

Cheerfulness

Cheerfulness is infectious! Jean Paul Richter said "Cheerfulness is the atmosphere in which all things thrive." It is a quality that makes people feel good, comfortable, appreciated and welcomed. There has been a tendency in our world to value seriousness and a kind of glum affect. Frowning and somber faced folks in the workplace are seen as the ones who are hard-at-it and doing the job that is before them. They might be unapproachable but, at the very least, are making their way and earning their pay. It is certainly not much fun to be around them. The truth is that this attitude and the people who carry it are easily forgettable. We remember the ones who bring brightness, happiness and exuberance.

Cheerful people leave a lasting impact. We have listened to the many descriptions of Senator Edward Kennedy recently. His great body of work, successes and failings have been paraded before us since his death. The recollections that have been repeated the most often though are of his great cheerfulness and boisterous charm. The joy, mirth and laughter that follow a cheerful soul bring gifts of optimism and a sort of sunrise to the spirit of others. We have a choice. We can be determined to be cheerful or we can be restrained, unremarkable and boring.

It is no more difficult to be cheerful and upbeat than it is to be somber and intense. It does require a certain discipline. We are required to access happinesses that we have experienced (or are experiencing) and allow them to radiate from our very being. It asks that we smile genuinely, offer a hearty handshake, give a pat on the back, make eye contact and listen. This discipline must become a habit. We need to practice it. Follow the directives of the lyrics of the old song that says "Live, love, laugh and be happy." Your life will be more satisfying. You will enjoy better health. You will be remembered warmly.

The Torch Is Passed

Senator Edward M. Kennedy lost his battle with cancer today. He was one who fought many battles in life. He was never afraid to lose. This was a courageous man, not without flaws, not without brokenness and not without mistakes. He was resilient and enduring despite the criticism of others. Senator Kennedy was a champion of the poor, the downtrodden and the hopeless. He believed that the government should take care of those who are unable to care for themselves. He was a voice for the voiceless. His example is one that should lead us on pathways of kindness and benevolence. We are never too busy or too old to make a difference or to affect change. It is our responsibility to stand up for our beliefs and to be agents of good. The torch is passed.

Change The World

My best friend and I made the decision to change the world. We were ten years old and thought that adults had no idea how beautiful and interesting it all was. We were concerned about people who were hungry when we had plenty. We thought that war was a fun game but a stupid way to settle arguments. We believed that everyone should have a comfortable home. Fixing those things did not seem unreasonable to us. The reality of mending it all was something different.

The truth is that the world is simply beautiful. The diversity of human beings and the environment is stunning. Each of us has a unique place and purpose. However, there is hunger, thirst, homelessness and war. It is our job to participate in solving those problems. We are called to add our individual voices and effort to bring an end to hopelessness and desperation. There is no excuse for ignoring the plight of the marginalized and oppressed. The most beautiful part of this life is observing and participating in the process of lending a hand to those in need. Our path through the world is a part of it.

Now is the time to change things. This does not happen in grand gestures but in our ongoing daily effort to make a difference. The joy that flows from such action will alter the course of history. We have the power to change the world today.

Acts of Kindness and The Sconestone

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around” ~ Leo Buscaglia

Much of our energy is devoted to what we can accomplish or gain in our lives. The success that we achieve in these areas, however, does not begin to measure up to the kindnesses that we do along the way. The human spirit is lifted only when we love each other, promote goodness, and act generously. Why, then, would we put such acts on the back burner?

Our inattention to that which is most important comes from a lack of focus and perspective. We are so busy with our daily grind that we lose track. It is really a matter of making the right choice. Choose to hurry on to whatever-it-is that is driving you…or choose to stop, wait and generously bestow your kindness.

A designer from Scotland has created a wonderful reminder of our mission to be kind and to do good. He fashioned the Sconestone. This small stone carving was inspired by ancient Scottish Neolithic orbs. It evolved as a symbol of wisdom and became a call to kindness. The rock group Runrig will launch the Sconestone on an international journey at it’s live concert on August 29th, 2009. The stone will pass to it’s first keeper who is entrusted with it for seven days. During that time the Keeper of the Sconestone is expected to do at least one act of kindness, encourage friends to touch it and pledge to an act of kindness and to then pass the stone on to person who will honor the purpose of the journey. They are also asked to write about the experience on the sconestone.com website. What a great idea!

Perhaps your efforts and the wave of enthusiasm for the Sconestone will remind of what is really important. Remember that it is the small things that make a difference. The ripples can change the contour of the day for everyone on the planet.

Gratefulness And A Plea For Assistance

George Bernard Shaw once said that “Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” There is a bright light that burns in each of us. The problem is that most of the time we seem to hide it, extinguish it or diminish it. Fear, loneliness, shame, anger and sadness have such pervasive effects on our daily lives that we fail to comprehend the joy of the present moment. The antidote is gratefulness. Fear and the other negative feelings cannot endure in the light of gratitude.

The simple task of composing a list of blessings is a practice that will help reframe and shape the reality of our day. Record things such as the joys of good health, family members, loyal friends, a job and the comfort of home. What other things can we add? It is important to look around at our surroundings and beyond. Let the list grow over the days by reviewing it each morning. We begin to see the abundance of our lives in pretty short order. It is then that we can really begin to let the torch burn brightly. It is then that we can share our lives with enthusiasm.

A cousin of mine, Lee Fisher, presented me with an opportunity to share abundance. His daughter, Susan, is married with two little boys, Luke age 9 and Levi age 4. Jerry, the husband and father, is a terrific guy who has been struggling with compromised kidney function. His blood is type A- and he is in need of a live donor for a transplant. Susan needs her husband and Luke and Levi need their daddy. You can save a family by contacting the Live Donor coordinator at the University of Indiana Hospital Transplant Department at 1-800-382-4602. Just mention Jerry Rasberry's name. What a gift you could give. Please pass this on. Among my many blessings...I am grateful for your kindness.