Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Looking Back


Celebration of the New Year gives us the unique opportunity to reflect.  This marks the end of the first decade of the century.  We have experienced triumph and defeat, joy and sorrow, abundance and loss.  Our personal lives have been changed in ten years.  We are older and more experienced.  It would be appropriate if our reminiscence of the year and decade included the harm that we might have unintentionally or intentionally inflicted. It is impossible to think that we have lived without somehow damaging or offending others.  This is a good time to sort it all out.

Sometimes we leave damage in our wake despite the best intentions. People have feelings that are hurt because we were seemingling thoughtless or reckless.  We have done or failed to do things that have damaged relationships.  This creates a need for reconciliation by the making of amends. We must first admit our wrongdoing and apologize.  Then we proceed to set things right. We make ourselves vulnerable and  take down the walls that separate us by doing this. Finally, we pledge to refrain from the damaging behavior in the future.

The healing that springs forth from reconciliation is beyond our greatest expectations. We begin to live a life without regrets. Trust and harmony become the cornerstones of our relationships. We find ourselves as the benefactors and recipients of love and compassion. We build coalitions instead of seeking isolation. Diversity is no longer frightening. There is nothing that is so important that it should stand in the way of this miraculous process. What a terrific way to turn the new page of 2010.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Christmas Fire


The Christmas Tree was very important to my family.  We had a longstanding tradition of finding the perfect tree back in the 1950's.  Of course almost everyone else was involved in the same quest.  Tree lots were combed from as early as the weekend after Thanksgiving.  Long needles, short needles, spruce and balsam were all considered.  The decision was made after lengthy discussions about which would hold the needles the longest and which best represented Christmas past.  The chosen tree was then hauled over to my uncle's Chrysler dealership to join the ones found by his family and by my grandparents.  Uncle Smitty loaded up his car painting system with snow fluff and we lightly flocked all three trees.

The arrival of the tree, usually tied and wrapped securely to the top of our Chrysler, was a moment of triumph for my Dad.  There it was.  Christmas splendor in our own house.  Decorations with special family significance, a cotton tree skirt, bubble and tinkle multicolor lights all were draped on the tree while eggnog and fudge were consumed by the fireplace.  Then, in 1960, something controversial happened.  Mother discovered the magnificent and elegant Aluminum Christmas Tree (complete with rotating color wheel).


I was never quite sure why my father relented to the interloping fake that began to grace our "sun room" that Christmas.  He gave it the most disturbing looks and glances.  Not quite a scowl but something akin to disgust.  Mom was oblivious.  She found the best tree money could buy at Marshall Fields in Chicago.  It could only be decorated with certain ornaments.  They were all red and very fashionable.  No lights were necessary.  The color wheel took care of that.  One moment it was green, then red, then blue and then a strange yellow gold.  All of the traditional stuff was packed away in deference to the new.  I had raely seen my mother so proud and happy.  It was certainly a decorator tree to show off to all of the family, friends and neighbors.

There developed a kind of tension between the tree and Dad over the next few years.  It was 1964 when all hell broke loose.   My buddy Steve and I were goofing around in the basement rec room.  The unhappiness that Dad was experiencing over the tree proved to be too much for Mom.  She gave way to his pleas and watched in horror as he brought down all of the old decorations and began to drape them on the aluminum tree.  The thing got loaded down with everything but popcorn garland.  She sat in a chair with a cocktail in defeat.  Dad's masterpiece was crowned by the cotton skirt.  Presents were crammed under the branches until the inevitable happened.  One spark from a light strand, through the aluminum, down the trunk and POOF.  All Steve and I heard was stomping and pounding.  By the time that we got upstairs the sun room was going up in flames and Dad was trying to put it out with his hands.  Quick thinking from two 14 year olds saved the day.  We formed a bucket brigade and put out the fire before the fire department got there.  We were instant heroes.  Dad and Mom went to the hospital to treat his burned hands.  I was trusted to be left alone and spend the night at my friend Gary's.

The aluminum tree melted that year and was never replaced.  No more fake trees for us.  It was back to flocked ones.  We moved to a bigger home the next year.  Dad spent many hours admiring his traditional tree.  Mom did get all new fancy ornaments anyway.  Everyone was happy.  Steve and I still like to put out all kinds of fires (usually, but not always, metaphorical).

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Coming of The Wonderful


The readings for this last Sunday of Advent are a confirmation of the abundance that we have been expecting.  The wonderful is already here.  It was created in our dreams and through our faith and expectations.  That for which we have been longing has arrived.

The excitement that is felt by Elizabeth and Mary as described by Luke in his gospel message is undeniable.  Their joy cannot be contained.  Mary's announcement is received even by the baby in her cousin's womb.  Deliverance is at hand.  Everything that was hoped for is present in the very room where they are gathered. 

The truth of this advent story is the fact of our own lives.  The most wonderful things happen when we give up the doubts and misgivings that we harbor.  Light shines in the darkness.  Day overcomes night.  Want gives way to abundance.  Christmas is coming.  Nothing will stop it.  Love each other, celebrate, dance and join the feast.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Winter Solstice


The winter solstice is upon us.  It is the shortest day and the longest night.  The days light has become shorter and shorter since Midsummer and now seems to rise and set in the same place for several days.  For more than seven thousand years human beings have been marking this occasion as the birth of the sun and light.  Life begins anew at Christmas and Hanukkah.  The sun begins it's journey South and creation celebrates.

This is a time to remember the ever turning wheel of life.  Our journey is mixed with darkness and light, struggle and triumph, sadness and joy.  It will never be overcome with the dark but could not be appreciated without it.  We need to honor the presence of grace during both.  One of the ways to acknowledge this truth is to light a candle at the winter solstice.  Take a few minutes to reflect upon your life and its rich flavor of sweet and bitter spice.  Nothing stays forever.  We can be sure that the sun will make its journey back.  The daylight will lengthen.  Spring and Summer will return. 

"May peace and plenty be the first to lift the latch on your door and happiness be guided to your home by the candle of Christmas!" ~ An Irish Blessing

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Advent and Overcoming


The Frauenkirche, Dresden

The spirit of optimism that anticipation offers can enable us to overcome obstacles that might have seemed overwhelming or impossible.  Advent teaches us that waiting in expectation of the wonderful will yeild miraculous results.  Patient waiting for promised salvation was given fruit on Christmas Day in Bethlehem.  People could not force its' early arrival.  It all happened when conditions were right.

One of the modern day examples of determined anticipation can be found in the meticulous rebuilding of a treasure destroyed by war.  The city of Dresden was firebombed by The Allies on February 13, 1945.  The East German Communist occupation of the next 45 years discouraged the rebuilding of the baroque Lutheran Church, The Frauenkirche, which had dominated the city skyline since its' completion in 1743.  Hopes and dreams, faith and determination overcame all obstacles.  The rebuilding began after the reunification of Germany in 1989 and was completed in 2004 on D-Day.  Tons of rubble and remnants were pieced together and fitted with the new.  Now the beautiful spiritual centerpiece of Dresden stands as a promise fulfilled.  Christmas traditions in the city are celebrated as in few other places.  The Striezelmarkt is the oldest Christmas market in Germany and turns 575 years old this year.  Dresden celebrated by contructing the world's largest usable Christmas arch on November 26, 2009.  The red roof tiles and rustic construction of the area are a testimony of patience and determination. 

Advent and Christmas are alive and vibrant where destruction and despondence once resided.  This is the season of the promise of the wonderful.  Just wait.  It is coming.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Noticing Advent


The Season of Advent is a celebration of the small things. We live in a world in which our focus is on the big, the conspicuous and the newsworthy. The noisy and gregarious grab our attention. Advent is a reminder that the miracles are all around us. We do not wait for some spectacular presentation from God. We take time to appreciate that which we have left un-noticed. We begin to understand that the smallest things are usually the most important representations of hope. What seems to be bigger and better might not actually be so important and are usually just temporary.

It has been demonstrated time and again that God uses the little and insignificant to prove that there are no limits to our lives. There is always the expectation of the wonderful. Advent is a time to not only pay attention to the incredible amount of goodness everywhere, but to expect the announcement of miracles. Watch and listen. We are surrounded by them. The faith in this truth is the foundation of Advent. The longing that we have for deliverance and freedom from want is already answered. Light always overcomes darkness. All that we must do is find a candle.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Waiting For The Wonderful



The period of time before Christmas, known as Advent, is a time of patience, expectation and anticipation.  My life-long best friend calls it "waiting for the wonderful".  The practice of waiting for the wonderful creates an atmosphere of childlike joy in people.  Seasonal music and poems like The Night Before Christmas reminisce about visions of hope and miracles. Decorations and festive gatherings remind us that something extraordinary is coming. We know that abundance, happiness, friends and family are just around the corner. Our waiting takes on a joy of its’ own.

Our eager expectations are always fulfilled if we remain hopeful and keep our eye on the possibilities. We should have learned that good things are coming. Patience toward the waiting, and eagerness for what lies in the future set up an entirely different manner of living. There is always a reason for optimism, hope and opportunity. The dynamic of positive expectation sets up a scenario in which we simply attract great things. Abundance begins to literally fall into our laps as it never did before. Advent is here right now. We can look forward to the realization of our dreams and the coming of our salvation. There is no reason that this should be limited to a seasonal celebration in December.  It is all about waiting for the wonderful.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday



Today, the day after Thanksgiving, has come to be known as Black Friday. It is the beginning of the Christmas shopping season in our country. Retailers have identified it as the day in which their operations become profitable, going from the red to the black. It is a tradition that has been growing since 1924 when The Macy’s Parade began.  The Great Recession has left many without jobs and even more of us with few discretionary dollars. Our personal and national wealth and poverty are both keenly felt on Black Friday.

The quality of our lives and the sacredness of Thanksgiving and Christmas do not hinge upon our ability to buy. What we purchase is only an illusion of real prosperity. Abundance is not a bad thing at all, but in order to fully receive it we must be grateful for what we have. Our family, our friends and our traditions are sacred. The things that are not for sale, for which no value can be assigned, are the most important. We can go forward into the shopping season with joy and anticipation when we make this spiritual truth the underpinning for our actions. We will begin to attract real abundance into our lives.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving



Thanksgiving is a wonderful time for family and friends. It elicits memories through smells and familiar surroundings. We bring out traditional items that only appear at this time of the year. We set our expectations on something wonderful. We anticipate goodness and abundance. It is a great time to write a gratitude list, call family members who are far away on the phone, and celebrate who we are. Thank you for this holiday.

Thank you for my parents and grandparents, uncles and aunts. They were such great people. It seems like everything they did had a spirit of kindness and generosity. Holidays were always fun. There was a sense of happiness in the air mixed with the aroma of roasting turkey and clinking glasses.

Thank you for my wife. She is my rock and my love. Her faith in me, abiding affection, and her good nature has given me the ability to live, serve others, and celebrate life. None of my successes would have been possible without her. There is none with a better heart.

Thank you for my children. They are a continual source of pride. We are not near one another, but I feel their presence every single day. Their life journeys are inspiring. I never get enough of them. I love all three of them more today than they will ever guess.

Thank you for my huge family. My brother and sister who are gone but remembered with great affection.  My dear cousins who gathered in Peoria this year, my nephews and niece with their children and grandchildren, all of those with whom I am in touch and those who are more distant. I cannot begin to express the happiness that they have brought to me.

Thank you for my friends. My dear loyal friends from boyhood are still a part of my life. We seem to be as connected, albeit with miles between us, as we were when we were kids. They have been another family for me. My new friends are a blessing as well. Steadfast, welcoming and accepting, my friends are always there.

Thank you for my work and for my co-workers. We engage in a difficult but rewarding vocation. Let us never forget to be equally thankful for those that we serve. The truth is that they are the rich blessing in our lives.

Thank you for this life. It is good. It is marvelous. Thank you, God.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Becoming Tolerant



The answer to achieving tolerance towards others is almost always found in self acceptance. That which we find bothersome, annoying or intolerable in people is a key to personal growth. The very defects of character that we deplore in our neighbor are often hidden within our own hearts and minds. Sometimes they are buried deeply and sometimes they lie just beneath our surface. We are often quick to judge when we see these shortcomings or excesses in others. We might criticize the person and his behavior or just shake our heads with a sense of superiority. Somewhere inside, however, we know that this is just what we fear about ourselves.

Every time we become aware of our intolerance we have an opportunity to address our own issues. We have been given the chance to improve, fine tune and change. The process of self acceptance is an ongoing adventure. There is nothing that can stand in the way if we are eager to become a better person. The spiritual path of becoming can prove to be irresistible if we see ourselves for who we really are. The goodness that is within us far outshines any little flaws that need to be overcome. Each of us is a perfect creation of God. Each of us is a part of that source from which we came. Nobody is separate from the other. We are all in this together. Understanding this truth makes it possible to be tolerant and accepting of others. It removes the heavy burden of judgment.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Birthdays


The celebration of a birthday is truly unique in the scheme of our many festivities. It is the only time that we attend to only one single human being. We do not honor groups of soldiers, mothers, fathers, the sacred or profane. We pay homage to the one person who is having his or her special day. All of the attention, gifts and activities are devoted to the one and only who is marking the occasion of birth. I believe that this hoopla is appropriate, for there has never been one like you and there will never be another. This truth is encoded in your DNA which has evolved and has been encoded by parents, grandparents and generations of great grandparents into the dawn of humanity. Your combination of genes can never be exactly reproduced in the body of another. Even twins are unique and distinct. Your fingerprints are one of a kind. The mold has been broken!

I just had a birthday of my own. Fifty-nine years have passed since my arrival on the planet in Danville, Illinois. My wife treated me to an elegant brunch, home-made chocolate cake, two great presents and on and on. My wonderful cousin in Peoria sent a beautiful gift and counted down with daily phone calls. My life-long best friend sent seven cards over a ten day period. The well wishes and calls from my son and daughter, old friends and new friends were overwhelming. My co-workers took me out for lunch. Hard to top such a celebration! I am blessed. This is the spirit of happiness that everyone should experience! We are here for a short time, really. Why not take the opportunity to pay special attention to those with whom we interact? Throw a party! Break out the band and have a ball. There is no better time to do it than on the exceptional occasion of a birthday!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Veterans


Kathryn Jones, Ken Jones, Helen Trenchard (World War II Photo)

Two minutes of silence at The Eleventh Hour of The Eleventh Day of The Eleventh Month is set aside each year to honor veterans. Armistice Day, Remembrance Day or Veterans Day has been marked since 1918 as tribute to those who have served our country in the armed forces. Those men and women, as well as their families, have sacrificed more than most of us can imagine. They have given up personal pleasure and comfort for their principles. They have treasured the freedoms promised by our Constitution and Bill of Rights. They have loved their country. It is our duty to repay their gift of sacrifice with our material thanks. We need to say it and show it. Not just with words and parades but with meaningful health benefits and a GI bill that will pave the way for their futures. We owe them this and more.

We often forget the trials that are endured by the families. My Dad was in The Navy stationed in the South Pacific during WWII. Mom and my brother, Jack, followed him stateside from base to base in New York and Florida until he was finally deployed. Then they waited and worried...never even knowing where he was located. They participated in drives for the war effort, planted victory gardens, blacked out lights and listened to the news every day. The black car that carried an officer and chaplain never came to our house at 18 W. Winter in Danville, Illinois. My grandmother's two star Mother's Flag never had a star change to gold (representing a son that was killed in action). My uncle's aircraft carrier was bombed and sank but he survived. Dad and Uncle Bob came home in one piece. None of them talked about it much afterwards.

Life went on for my parents and brother. It went on with a GI bill that paid for colleges, housing opportunities and grateful employers that were ready to hire. The nation pulled together to show its never-ending thanks. We need to restore this kind of offering to our veterans today. It is up to us to write our congressional representatives and senators. We must demand a VA and benefit package of which we can be proud. It is what we can do to participate in their sacrifice.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Go For It



There are times in our lives when all the signs seem to be pointing us in a particular direction. Our thoughts and dreams are echoed in the songs and stories we hear and the media we see. The signposts seem to be everywhere. Walt Whitman experienced this in writing his famous Song of Myself when he said, "I know I am solid and sound, To me the converging objects of the universe perpetually flow, All are written to me, and I must get what the writing means." These rare times ask for us to assess our direction, pay attention, take stock and make decisions. Sometimes we just need to go for it!

Following external clues and using them to fulfill our dreams does not necessarily mean that we should throw caution to the wind. It does indicate that we need to focus, take stock and make decisions.  We have the opportunity to clear away the clutter and debris to provide a better look. We are empowered to make a positive shift and move forward. We can clearly see whether our current path is providing us the means for achieving our goals in life. We get to pull ourselves out of the sludge of the ordinary and climb toward the extraordinary. A sense of purpose, peace and happiness will flow in. Our new demeanor and attitude will actually attract like-minded people. Sometimes even the most unlikely angels arrive to help us along our way with the information and support we need.

Now is the time to take charge.  Now is the time to follow our dreams.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Self Fulfilling Prophesy



Many people have dampened spirits that contain no expectations. Experiences of disappointment have left them without joyful anticipation of good things. The argument posed is that they will never be let down as long as there is no looking forward to positive outcomes. It is living life in the tradition of Eeyore from A. A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh. One with this attitude is almost but never quite, depressed and melancholic with a dash of pessimism. The demeanor is close to moping while squatting dully at the status quo. There is a mind-set that says “It doesn’t matter what I want because it probably won’t happen anyway.” Just short of a sigh.

I contend that it would be better to experience lots of disappointment than to trudge through the gloomy day of no expectations. There is always something good to anticipate. Bad things will happen. Tough times will come and go. Looking to the positive possibilities, however, will create increased chances of happiness and success. Robert Merton wrote about self-fulfilling prophesy. Belief and behavior are undeniably linked. The “truth” of a situation can actually be altered by the influence of believers. When something good is expected something good is more likely to happen. Our behavior changes and often the outcome transformed.

Why shouldn't we realign our thinking to allow for not only good outcomes, but for outstanding ones?  Why shouldn't we shoot for the stars?  This is how we stretch to excellence.  This is how greatness is achieved.  No more of this fear of the unknown.  No more of this anhedonia.  Do more and expect the best.  Life will regain it's flavor!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Past



Everything changes and evolves.  Halloween not-with-standing.  It has grown into a huge industry in The United States.  There are entire holiday stores that are devoted to costumes and decorations.  People put up orange and black lights outside on the same trees that will sport Christmas colors in a few weeks.  You can find an outfit and makeup that will transform you into most anything at all with little effort.  Some things are constant, of course.  Many kids still go from door to door collecting candy and other goodies.  Mostly minature candy bars nowadays.  Streets fill up with ghosts and monsters.  There are still tricks that are played.  Everyone but old grouches and those who are offended by some religious perspective or supposed evil seem to have a great time.  Halloween is still fun.  Different but plenty of fun.

I grew up in a different age.  There was little commercial value in Halloween except for an increase in candy sales I'm sure.  Masks were available at some places along with a few costumes.  None of them were very elaborate.  Most of us had mothers or grandmothers who made our outfits for Trick or Treating.  We had to decide well in advance what we were going to be and wear on Halloween.  Othewise it just turned out to be a white sheet with holes cut out for eyes, nose and mouth.  There were never any bags or carriers for the collection of goodies.  Most of us had grocery bags that we decorated at school or at home.  They had cut out handles or ones that had been pasted on the top for easy carrying.  My wife reminded me that rainy days resulted in busted bags with spoiled candy.  Sometimes we would make extra trips home to deposit our loot so that it wouldn't break the bags.  There was always some mean adult who would drop a big apple in the sack and split it open.  Great party ideas included bobbing for apples in a tub of water.

Anyone who did not have treats or who made the mistake of not being at home on Halloween was subject to Tricks.  Lots of these would result in juvenile probation and in today's world despite the fact that they were pretty much harmless.  We soaped windows, flung toilet paper in the trees and every now and then set a bag of poop on fire at someone's doorstep.  Schools were always a target.  Egging was reserved for another level of trickster.  We were told that raw eggs destroyed the paint on cars and that only hoodlums did such things.  For some reason that stopped me.  Not sure why.  Tricking was great entertainment and geneally accepted by the community at large.

All-in-all the results of Halloween were the same in the 1950's and 60's as they are now.  Sugar highs turn into headaches and stomach aches.  Parents end up taking much of the candy into their possession to stop future gorging and overdose.  All of the costumes and stuff get stored away.  Messes get cleaned up.  It is a terrific holiday.  Happy Halloween!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Being Lost



The experience of being lost is bewildering and often frightening. We find ourselves in an unfamiliar place without a good frame of reference. There is an overwhelming desire to get information and regain our bearings. Fear can intensify to such a point that even the directional cues such as the position of the sun are confusing. You wander so far off the path that you have no idea where you might be. The fear and disorientation turns into panic. We pray that someone will find us.

There is seldom a time that being lost is a pleasant experience for most of us. Some people, however, seem to relish the whole thing. My Uncle Bob and my Dad were two of those people. They loved to “take the scenic route” and were delighted when the adventure resulted in getting (what seemed to be) hopelessly lost. The announcement from the front seat of the car that we were veering off to the road less traveled was not usually well received. Highways become two lane roads which ultimately led to dirt roads in the country, one lane mountain byways and remote villages that no stranger had visited for several million years. These guys were undeterred by protests from helpless wives and children. Their enthusiasm only became greater as we dropped deeper into the abyss. Dad and Uncle Bob did not believe that there was any such thing as being lost. We always found our way back home or to our ultimate destination. We were never eaten by wild animals or froze and starved to death in our cars. They taught us a really valuable life lesson. Being lost is a state of mind. It is one that my cousins and I have assimilated pretty well.

There is so much to learn and so much to see. We can take the safe road and move from destination to destination if we want. The problem is that we miss all of the really great things that are off the beaten path. Life deals us plenty of blows. We are often windswept and thrown off course. We can choose to be lost and helpless or we can embrace the experience and dive into the excitement of the “scenic route”. I recommend this one that is just to the left and seems to go…let’s see…I thought I knew.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Next Right Thing


We are charged, in life, with the task of doing “the next right thing”. This implies that there is absolutely nothing that can be done to change the past. There is also nothing that we can do which will generate guaranteed outcomes in the future. It is vitally important to focus on the here and now. This is the time to assess our position, utilize the tools at hand, and move forward with meaningful action and good intentions.

Doing the right thing has three basic component parts:
  1. Don’t worry. All that will come of it is an increasing inability to do anything at all. Worry will certainly negatively impact your physical and emotional health.

  2. Don’t hurry. Hasty action will rarely achieve good results and might have dire consequences. Take some time, consider the impact of what is about to be done.

  3. Don’t hate. The one that is most impacted by hate is the one who is doing the hating. There is no reason to foster this feeling. Hating people, places, or situations only creates deep resentment. Resentment steals the spotlight and hinders the capacity to focus on anything but the negative.

We can be in charge of the present decisions that we are making. We can control our part in every response and reaction. We can do the next right thing.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Divine Mirror


The quest for understanding our own lives absolutely involves getting to know other people. We cannot develop true discernment without self exploration through the mirror offered by others. This has been called "the Divine Mirror". When looking deeply into it we see all of our beauty and blemishes. We see other people through the filter of self. We might even begin to glimpse the delight that is envisioned by the Creator of it all.

There is great wisdom in the old adage about walking a mile in the shoes of another person. We can never know the life-long effect of the trials and troubles endured by fellow human beings. All we get to see is the snapshot of the momentary encounters that we have. This never offers much depth of experience. We often offer knee jerk reactions and over-reactions in response to annoyances caused by such meetings. Sometimes the exchanges can be unpleasant and troubling.

We always have the opportunity to stop, hesitate and consider prior to taking action. Mentally holding up a mirror to envision our reactions will almost always elicit a different answer to encounters with people. We are able to see ourselves and our actions through the eyes of others. We take the opportunity to envision more than the behavior that is upsetting. A different person is revealed as we look more deeply than the present moment. My own practice is to see each person as a child. It is much harder to be judgmental with a nine year old than with an adult. Try taking the time to look more deeply. The experience will enhance and provide a better understanding of life.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Bestowing Blessings

Abraham Blessing Isaac by Govert Flinck

Blessings are always in short supply! There are never enough occasions in which we bestow this profound and magnificent infusion of hope, good will and sacred expression. It is surprising that we do not offer more of them to each other. They are powerful ways to confirm love and approval. They change the landscape of our circumstances at the time. People listen to them with care. We certainly offer curses readily enough.

This is my very favorite Gaelic Blessing. It was given to me by my Aunt Lucille and hangs in our home to this day. It is familiar to many people:

"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand."

There is a story about a priest who was blessing members of his congregation. He asked anyone who wanted to receive the special blessing to come to the front of the church. A mentally challenged man came forward. The priest, Henri Nouwen, made the sign of the cross on his forehead and said some words. The man said, “That’s no blessing” and wrapped his arms around the priest. Henri responded by wrapping his own arms around the man telling him of his special place in his heart and in the community. When he looked up from his friend he saw that the entire congregation had lined up for their personal rich blessing.

We need to take the opportunity to bestow and offer blessings. The Hawaiians do it with everything that is new on the islands. The Irish are masters of the celebration of blessing. It is just a matter of speaking your well wishes from the heart. Memorize some or just make them up. Everyone is hungry for them.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Purpose of Heroes



Most of us have easily identified a personal hero at some time in our lives. We have admired figures in history, politics, celebrities, mythical icons and even comic book characters. Their magnificent behavior thrilled us and set our imagination on fire. We could imagine ourselves doing such things. Some of us played games as children that allowed us to actually become the hero of our fantasies. It is unfortunate that most of us drop our champions as we grow older.

Tarnished images of the human beings that we admired and impossible super powers of fictitious characters lead us to a vision of a more mundane existence. We learn to accept our limitations and see the flaws of those who rise to great heights. Reality sets in. It is easy to become skeptical and suspicious in a world of investigative reporting and instant news. The luster and sparkle of life become murky. Hero worship can rarely have a good end. There will almost always be a fall from grace. It does not have to be that way.

The qualities and behaviors that we admired in the champion are enduring and meaningful. I used to conduct a regular workshop on the hero at Bridgeway in Brevard, NC. The patients at the facility had given up on life in many ways. It was important for them to regain a sense of possibilities. Participants identified heroes from childhood and later life, both mythical and historic. We laughed and reminisced about them all. Then we erased the names of the champions and replaced them with character traits. We talked about our real opportunities to rise to such heights and behave in valiant ways. We may not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but we can step in to stop a bully. We may not be able to see through a wall to find a missing treasure, but we can provide wisdom for those in need. We can be heroic. All we have to do is envision the great deeds of others and rise to the occasion. Now is the time. The world is waiting for us.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Living With Principles ~ A Moral Compass

A Moral Compass is an invisible tool that guides us along the journey of life. It has a "true north" that is found in our conscience. Values, principals and ethics are it's magnetic center. Human beings have lived for thousands of years while developing the sense of morality that allows us to live in peace, prosperity and harmony. It is made up of truth, compassion, cooperation, love and respect. These traditional values are the moral core of our society.

Outcomes and bottom lines have become the driving indicators in our fast paced world. These are based upon economic theory which results in efficiency in competitive markets. This theory has no place outside of the marketplace. The fact is, despite our emphasis on results, that acting according to our principles provides the most satisfying guidelines for living. When we do the right thing, instead of that which will provide the most benefits, we find that we will be defined as people of high moral fiber. We rise above the ordinary.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, is worth compromising our principles. Our self worth is tied up in them. When we take a path away from them we find ourselves feeling guilty and incomplete. It becomes easier and easier to choose outcomes over values. The meaning of our activities is then defined only by financial success. We can do almost anything in the name of the bottom line.

There can be pains in the process of living a principled life. It is not the easy way. It is the satisfying way. Don’t sell out. I have never seen a U-Haul behind a hearse. But I have seen entire city blocks congested by cars following the funeral of a noble man or woman. Our moral core is economic only to the extent that it benefits the greater good. It is our moral compass that will lead us to real success in life. All that we must do is to find our true north.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Judging Others

It is easy to find fault with people. We often quickly assess the interior makeup of others by their appearance, a snapshot of behavior or by the opinion of a friend. This determination is usually dismissive and often an attack on the character of the subject of our judgment. These surface observations are overly simplistic and rarely accurate. The problem is that the discussion of other people’s faults has become a popular spectator sport. Tearing people down is considered funny and is often supported by groups of friends. TV even builds entire sitcoms around making fun of others weaknesses.

There are consequences for rendering these kinds of verdicts. Our judgments inflict suffering that we rarely get to see. There is none-the-less something that withers and dies when we demean another, not only in them, but in ourselves. We become more arrogant and the subject of our disdain is diminished. There is little possibility that a relationship or friendship might develop. We have probably squandered that opportunity forever. How shallow we can become when we behave in this way! How one dimensional we can become when it evolves into a habit!

Begin anew today. Make a resolution to catch other people being good. Walk away from situations where ridicule is the topic of conversation. Don’t laugh at or make fun of anyone. Take some time with an individual who has been the butt of jokes. Remember what our mothers used to say? Be Nice!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Living Your Dream

Life is meaningful when we are working toward the great vision of our dreams. It becomes enriched by a higher calling that enables us to accomplish the improbable. Gail Devers once said that we should keep our dreams alive and that we must “Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” There are few obsticles that remain in our way when we summon the power of our purpose. We can tackle things that otherwise would block our most determined efforts.

The absence of a dream and lack of a vision leave life flat and empty. Every one of us has had dreams for the future. The problem is that many of us have allowed the requirements of the daily grind to dash them on the rocks. We begin to muddle through and just survive. Our problems become overwhelming and we get stuck. Life seems to pass us by.

The truth is that every problem teaches us how to resolve it when we have vision. Nothing is impossible when we are serving our dreams. Our passion becomes fulfilled when we recognize and honor the daily mission of accomplishing our routine tasks and jobs. Remember that nothing is ordinary. Then, even that which was once mundane, becomes elevated. Accept the challenge to revive the dream that has slipped away and live in dedication to its achievement.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

International Day of Peace

September 21 has been celebrated as The International Day of Peace since 1981. This year, the Secretary General of The United Nations has called for disarmament and an end to the stockpiling of weapons of mass destruction. His 100 day worldwide campaign ends on Monday, September 21 with a loud and clear statement, “We must disarm! We must have peace!”

Violent conflict continues to rage throughout the world. There are wars from Afghanistan to Sri Lanka to Sudan. Our focus on the loss of soldiers and their injuries reveals only part of the tragedy. Innocent civilians, the elderly, men, women and children are the most common victims. Boys and girls continue to be recruited as child soldiers. Rape is used as a way of destroying communities. These people cry out for our protection. They have no hope for an escape from poverty and no way of improving their lives until we rise up to the challenge of peace.

This year is the seventieth anniversary of the start of World War II. We said “Never Again” in 1945. It is the ninetieth anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Versailles after World War I. We proclaimed that it was the “war to end all wars”. Now is the time to recommit to those ideals and promises. Twenty-one white doves were released into the sky at the Kabul headquarters of the UN Assistance Mission in Afghanistan on Wednesday. The Peace Bell is ringing at the UN in New York. My hope is that these symbols of our resolution to change might send out the message that it is time to stop the violence and bloodshed. The time is now.

Friday, September 18, 2009

A Personal Philosophy

I have adopted a new personal philosophy or motto. It is not a major shift in the way that I see or approach life. It is a thought that took form in a conversation with my life-long friend yesterday. We were talking about rising from the ashes of disappointment and failings. He said that he appreciates the way that I have been able to remake or reframe my life after some rather difficult circumstances several years ago. My response was that "Everything is a celebration. You just have to decide whether to go to the party or not."

The attitude we cultivate determines how the things that are going on in our lives will affect us. We will find happiness and love if we meet our circumstances with a positive attitude, a smile on our faces and love in our hearts. That's the way that it works. We can find reasons around us to be angry, resentful, wounded and distraught. There is more than enough trouble to go around. It is also a fact that we are surrounded by incredible beauty, generosity and celebration.

There are times in which we must face the tragic. We cannot ignore crisis and poverty of spirit. I do not promote denial or putting our heads in the sand. I do endorse the proposition that practically any situation can be improved by the way we greet and handle it. We can always reach out, ask for help or lend a hand. We can always connect. There is always a way to lift our spirits and the spirits of others by offering a smile, kindness, a gentle touch and a soft ray of optimism. Resentment, anger, glum and pessimistic attitudes will only return increased negativity. They will never inspire or encourage anyone.

The question that leads us is whether we can acknowlege the negative while accentuating the good. Live life in a positive way. It can be done. It takes a conscious effort sometimes. But it can be done. We must embrace the here and now. It's time to come to the party.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Power of Gentleness

There is an old Celtic verse that warms my spirit. It says, “The tide recedes but leaves behind bright seashells on the sand; The sun goes down, but gentle warmth still lingers on the land; The music stops, and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains... For every gentle act that passes, something beautiful remains.” The quality of gentleness is one that has been greatly admired throughout history. It emanates from strength and humility. This is most noticeable in difficult times when someone rises above the fray to extend a thoughtful gesture of kindness.

There is a story about George Washington that demonstrates the gentle man. It is said that he was fox hunting with a group of friends. His horse jumped a wall and knocked off a stone. Washington immediately stopped, got down from the horse, and replaced the stone. One of his friends said, “You are too big a man to bother with that.” He replied gently, “No, I am just the right size.” He shows us that we can be considerate, courteous and modest while still getting the job done. Washington takes the time to be deliberate and kind. His action dispels the notion that arrogance accompanies power.

Becoming a gentler person requires thoughtfulness and practice. The rewards are great. Where anger flares up, gentleness calms down. Where anger is a bursting flame gentleness is a gentle rain. Where anger asserts itself and crushes, gentleness embraces and quiets and soothes. Our presence as a gentle person improves our ability to affect change. The thoughtfulness required makes it difficult to hurt others unintentionally. We emerge as a leader with integrity. One of the basic requirements is that we slow ourselves down. Take time. There are few things in life that actually require our urgency. Considering the impact and consequences of our actions prior to performing them will improve the outcomes every time. Be gentle. You will be remembered for that.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Memory of Terrorism

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was 15 years old when she left the comfort of home in Switzerland to find herself. It was a time when World War II was raging in Europe. Hitler's Nazis were leaving millions of people dead or dying in their wake. Cities were being destroyed, people were starving, children separated from their parents, and thousands upon thousands were being exterminated by the 'master race'. Her journey continued after the war when she visited the concentration camp at Maidanek. The walls of the waiting area just outside of the gas chambers were filled with drawings of butterflies drawn by children who were awaiting a horrible death. This is the message that they left behind. Elisabeth encountered a girl who was a Jewish survivor of the death camp and asked her how it was possible that men and women could so brutally kill such innocent children. The answer changed her life. The girl said to her "Oh my God, if I spend the rest of my life telling about all these horrible things, I would not be any better than Hitler himself. I would plant seeds of hate and negativity."

It is incomprehensible that beautiful, innocent, delightful children can be killed by monsters. It is just as incomprehensible that beautiful, innocent, delightful children can grow up to be the monsters that do such things. Dr. Kubler-Ross did not become bitter. She developed a lifelong passion to help, to heal, feed and clothe the less fortunate. Her work soothed the ravages of grief for countless people.

The memory of September 11, 2001 reminds us all that horrible things happen. The thought of it can lead us to seek revenge or it can lead us to service. It is our responsibility to make choices built on the foundations of love rather than fear. We have the obligation to help shape the lives others so that they will choose not to be terrorists but rather to be healers.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Success & Failure

The word failure can set up a simplistic way of thinking that allows for only the two possibilities of failure or success. The word failure has come to elicit a black and white scenario in which all subtlety is lost. We tend to lose our ability to see the truth when we regard ourselves, or something we have done, as a failure.

Failure has come to represent the worst possible outcome. It more often is something that did not turn out the way that we wanted. The negativity surrounding the concept of failure is not something that is lost on Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison or Babe Ruth. These men were never reduced by frequent occurrences of that which we label failure. Their endeavors came up short frequently. Jordan lost 26 games by missing the game winning shot. Disney was a high school drop out who filed for bankruptcy in 1921. Edison tried to revolutionize the iron ore business. He spent a decade and several million dollars in an eterprise that would fall on it's face. His process, however, became the inspiration for Henry Ford's Model T. Babe Ruth, the king of baseball, struck out more than anyone else in his era. The world is a better place because they did not give up. They never quit trying. They never considered themselves as failures in life.

It is time that we reframe the word and the concept of failure in the context of the larger picture. It might be an idea to drop the use of the word completely. What can we learn from situations that do not work out the way that we wanted? What can we do differently when we come up short? Today I will remember that failure is not falling down, it is staying down.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Joining With Angels

“We are, each of us angels with only one wing: and we can only fly by embracing one another.”
~ Luciano de Crescenzo

We have the ability to be angels in the lives of people that we touch throughout the day. The truth is that life is good and we are all challenged to carry that news to others. An incredible multiplication of energy occurs when this message becomes a part of the mission statement within our various workplaces and organizations. These groups of people become angelic forces for good within the community.

There is an incredible amount of good that we can affect as individuals. Joining with others, networking and cooperating allow our efforts to reach levels that we can never achieve on our own. We move from walking on the solitary path to flying in formation. Light shines in the midst of the darkness through our combined interventions. Today is a good time to seek the counsel of like minded people. It is a good time to enlarge our efforts. It is always a great time to carry the message of kindness, gratefulness and good cheer. Life is good.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Little Things and Little Moments Are Not Little

Our lives seem to be filled with uneventful, little moments that are punctuated with occasional big times. The picture above is one of my Dad, at the grill, enjoying his life. He used to comment about someone having “a big time”. This usually involved an event such as a football tailgate, a party, a vacation or something of the kind. To him, however, it was also about making a big time. Simply cooking out in the back yard was fun and constituted a celebration. All of our little moments can be big times. We need to understand that most of them really are anyway. Whether we acknowledge them or not.

The little moments are so incredibly precious. Watching your kids eating their Cheerios in the morning. Seeing the first signs of autumn coloring the trees. Feeling the calm of night settling in on a warm summer day. Smelling the aroma of steaks on the grill. All of these little moments can slip by if we let them. They will grow in stature if we only notice them. Fully appreciating the moment at hand allows us to see the big picture in perspective. Enlarging the beauty of the here and now encourages gratefulness and cheerfulness. Even in the midst of stress, crisis or great sadness there are good things going on. Friends are lending a hand. Kindnesses are being extended. The sun continues to rise and the tides come in and go out. We can do more than endure and persevere.

We can value what we have in these little moments. We can then begin to appreciate their significance and celebrate their wonder. This is something that we can begin to practice right now. How can I have a big time today? Look around. Do you see it? Try again. Get up and walk around. Find the secret of the little moment. Now there is the beginning of a big time.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Moving On After Tragedy


“Let me arise and open the gate,
to breathe the wild warm air of the heath,
And to let in Love, and to let out Hate,
And anger at living and scorn of Fate,
To let in Life, and to let out Death.”
~ Violet Fane

The weight of past tragedies and misfortunes can bring it’s heaviness into our present lives. It rushes in on anniversaries of times in which we were overcome with sadness, fear, loneliness and despair. We can do little more to stop it than we can alter the course of the tides. It is important to acknowledge such times with some kind of commemoration or celebration. Pretending that they are not a part of our lives can cause real problems for us. Denial is a deadly emotional time bomb.

I met a woman and her children at the Names Project in Washington, DC several years ago. The AIDS quilt was being displayed in it’s entirety for the last time. The massive patchwork stretched from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial. I was overtaken with sadness, grief and confusion as I wandered among it’s many segments. Then I encountered this young mother. She was walking her two sons, age 11 and 13, through the quilt while gently talking about a part of the quilt that commemorated the life of victim after victim of AIDS. I felt comforted by her soft and inspired voice and followed a few steps behind. They came to stop at a piece. She said “Look boys, this was his teddy bear, a picture of his high school graduation, and a stitched note from your Uncle Tommy. Daddy loved him so much.” All three put their arms around each other and wept. They left after a few moments and I stared at the memories of this gay man who had lived a life apart from his wife and children. They had come to acknowledge his death, to grieve and to celebrate. I later saw the mother and boys at the gift shop buying Red Ribbon tee shirts. They were making plans to visit sites in our nation’s capitol. Life, death, joy and sadness were all being experienced. All with an eye on the future.

It is this vision of what can be that puts the past in perspective. We are called to be persistent as well as to be patient with ourselves and others. We are called to live life to its fullest.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Cheerfulness


Cheerfulness is infectious! Jean Paul Richter said "Cheerfulness is the atmosphere in which all things thrive." It is a quality that makes people feel good, comfortable, appreciated and welcomed. There has been a tendency in our world to value seriousness and a kind of glum affect. Frowning and somber faced folks in the workplace are seen as the ones who are hard-at-it and doing the job that is before them. They might be unapproachable but, at the very least, are making their way and earning their pay. It is certainly not much fun to be around them. The truth is that this attitude and the people who carry it are easily forgettable. We remember the ones who bring brightness, happiness and exuberance.

Cheerful people leave a lasting impact. We have listened to the many descriptions of Senator Edward Kennedy recently. His great body of work, successes and failings have been paraded before us since his death. The recollections that have been repeated the most often though are of his great cheerfulness and boisterous charm. The joy, mirth and laughter that follow a cheerful soul bring gifts of optimism and a sort of sunrise to the spirit of others. We have a choice. We can be determined to be cheerful or we can be restrained, unremarkable and boring.

It is no more difficult to be cheerful and upbeat than it is to be somber and intense. It does require a certain discipline. We are required to access happinesses that we have experienced (or are experiencing) and allow them to radiate from our very being. It asks that we smile genuinely, offer a hearty handshake, give a pat on the back, make eye contact and listen. This discipline must become a habit. We need to practice it. Follow the directives of the lyrics of the old song that says "Live, love, laugh and be happy." Your life will be more satisfying. You will enjoy better health. You will be remembered warmly.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Torch Is Passed

Senator Edward M. Kennedy lost his battle with cancer today. He was one who fought many battles in life. He was never afraid to lose. This was a courageous man, not without flaws, not without brokenness and not without mistakes. He was resilient and enduring despite the criticism of others. Senator Kennedy was a champion of the poor, the downtrodden and the hopeless. He believed that the government should take care of those who are unable to care for themselves. He was a voice for the voiceless. His example is one that should lead us on pathways of kindness and benevolence. We are never too busy or too old to make a difference or to affect change. It is our responsibility to stand up for our beliefs and to be agents of good. The torch is passed.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Change The World


My best friend and I made the decision to change the world. We were ten years old and thought that adults had no idea how beautiful and interesting it all was. We were concerned about people who were hungry when we had plenty. We thought that war was a fun game but a stupid way to settle arguments. We believed that everyone should have a comfortable home. Fixing those things did not seem unreasonable to us. The reality of mending it all was something different.

The truth is that the world is simply beautiful. The diversity of human beings and the environment is stunning. Each of us has a unique place and purpose. However, there is hunger, thirst, homelessness and war. It is our job to participate in solving those problems. We are called to add our individual voices and effort to bring an end to hopelessness and desperation. There is no excuse for ignoring the plight of the marginalized and oppressed. The most beautiful part of this life is observing and participating in the process of lending a hand to those in need. Our path through the world is a part of it.

Now is the time to change things. This does not happen in grand gestures but in our ongoing daily effort to make a difference. The joy that flows from such action will alter the course of history. We have the power to change the world today.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Acts of Kindness and The Sconestone

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around” ~ Leo Buscaglia

Much of our energy is devoted to what we can accomplish or gain in our lives. The success that we achieve in these areas, however, does not begin to measure up to the kindnesses that we do along the way. The human spirit is lifted only when we love each other, promote goodness, and act generously. Why, then, would we put such acts on the back burner?

Our inattention to that which is most important comes from a lack of focus and perspective. We are so busy with our daily grind that we lose track. It is really a matter of making the right choice. Choose to hurry on to whatever-it-is that is driving you…or choose to stop, wait and generously bestow your kindness.

A designer from Scotland has created a wonderful reminder of our mission to be kind and to do good. He fashioned the Sconestone. This small stone carving was inspired by ancient Scottish Neolithic orbs. It evolved as a symbol of wisdom and became a call to kindness. The rock group Runrig will launch the Sconestone on an international journey at it’s live concert on August 29th, 2009. The stone will pass to it’s first keeper who is entrusted with it for seven days. During that time the Keeper of the Sconestone is expected to do at least one act of kindness, encourage friends to touch it and pledge to an act of kindness and to then pass the stone on to person who will honor the purpose of the journey. They are also asked to write about the experience on the sconestone.com website. What a great idea!

Perhaps your efforts and the wave of enthusiasm for the Sconestone will remind of what is really important. Remember that it is the small things that make a difference. The ripples can change the contour of the day for everyone on the planet.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Gratefulness And A Plea For Assistance


George Bernard Shaw once said that “Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” There is a bright light that burns in each of us. The problem is that most of the time we seem to hide it, extinguish it or diminish it. Fear, loneliness, shame, anger and sadness have such pervasive effects on our daily lives that we fail to comprehend the joy of the present moment. The antidote is gratefulness. Fear and the other negative feelings cannot endure in the light of gratitude.

The simple task of composing a list of blessings is a practice that will help reframe and shape the reality of our day. Record things such as the joys of good health, family members, loyal friends, a job and the comfort of home. What other things can we add? It is important to look around at our surroundings and beyond. Let the list grow over the days by reviewing it each morning. We begin to see the abundance of our lives in pretty short order. It is then that we can really begin to let the torch burn brightly. It is then that we can share our lives with enthusiasm.

A cousin of mine, Lee Fisher, presented me with an opportunity to share abundance. His daughter, Susan, is married with two little boys, Luke age 9 and Levi age 4. Jerry, the husband and father, is a terrific guy who has been struggling with compromised kidney function. His blood is type A- and he is in need of a live donor for a transplant. Susan needs her husband and Luke and Levi need their daddy. You can save a family by contacting the Live Donor coordinator at the University of Indiana Hospital Transplant Department at 1-800-382-4602. Just mention Jerry Rasberry's name. What a gift you could give. Please pass this on. Among my many blessings...I am grateful for your kindness.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter Sunrise

Sunrise at the beach is a favorite time. The quiet splendor and rays of the new day fill me with hope. It never gets old. This is what Easter morning offers to us. This is the sunrise of new life. It is not an event but is eternal and everlasting. Nothing will ever be the same. What had been empty and dark is now filled with life and light. It is the sunrise that will never leave us. No matter where we go. No matter how difficult life may become. Easter morning is here.

I spent the night at the cathedral in Memphis with family at the Easter Vigil yesterday. My son, Steven, and several others became full participants in the mystery of their faith. Some were confirmed, some were baptized. All of us were given the gift of new beginnings. Our collective and individual journeys were enlightened. The Bishop repeated "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" several times during his homily. Each day is just that. Each day is Easter. Each day is a gift. Each day is a celebration.

May the sunrise inspire and bless you. May you be filled with awe and wonder. May you have fair winds and following seas. This is the day!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Candlelight Vigil

Our attention is easily drawn to a candlelight vigil. Media often cover such gatherings. The reason for this is, despite the fact that they are not uncommon, these vigils are deeply moving and inspirational. People join together and silently protest the darkness. They come to suffer together, to bring hope, to celebrate, to mourn and to comfort one another. The light against the dark of night can be striking. Most of us remember the Virginia Tech tragedy where innocent students were slain by a gunman. Thousands of people came to a candlelight ceremony on campus to, if nothing else, just be present. People gather to make a silent statement that transcends words. It always makes a difference. I was invited to one in Orlando recently that was held for Covenant House. The purpose was to bring attention to the suffering of children who are homeless and victims of the street. People of all kinds came to light candles for kids who are addicted to drugs and who sell their bodies to those who prey upon them. Significant funds were raised to assist their caregivers. More importantly, the community was made aware of the struggle. A step was made toward the light.

The Easter Vigil is held on the Saturday before Easter. Holy Saturday. Many say that it is the most important day of the Christian calendar. The symbolism is rich and plentiful. A fire is built outside of the darkened church where The Easter Candle is blessed and lit. Then candles held by the congregation receive light from it and from each other. The people come into the church carrying their candles. Light triumphs over darkness. The church is restored. Life is renewed. They go on to bring flowers and vestments to the stripped down alter. New members, adults and children, become full participants in the community. A service or mass is offered. Dinners are given. What was once dead is now alive.

Vigils are dramatic and signficant. There are no demands. There are no loud protests. There is no violence. There is only silence and light. But the little candles always overcome. Suffering is relieved. Compassion is freely given. We are together in solidarity. The promise of new life becomes a reality. Everything is going to be fine.

Congratuations to Steven. May your journey's path have many candles.

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Broken Heart on Good Friday

What becomes of the brokenhearted? The question is posed in Jimmy Ruffin’s song from the 1960’s. The anguish that is experienced in our lives often seems unbearable. We are alone in our grief. The abandonment and sense of being forsaken increase our desperation and we want to flee into the night. Good Friday brings this suffering to us without apology. It does not offer relief. Jesus stretches out his arms only to find them nailed to a cross. Simon carries his cross only to be mocked and rejected. The women weep without consolation. Still, there is an offering of hope. Jesus sees the grief and gives us a way through it. He says to his mother “Woman, behold your son” and to his friend John, “This is your mother”.

What becomes of the brokenhearted? Good Friday gives them to us. We are responsible for them even as uncomfortable as it may seem. We are asked to be present. I experienced this when my own mother died many years ago. Her death was tragic and I felt like I was to blame. There was nothing that brought me any relief. We gathered at her house after the funeral. I was busy going from person to person trying to be a host of some kind. There was a frantic need to keep busy. As I rushed past the love seat in the living room, our cousin Jane Sandusky caught my eye and patted the empty seat next to her. I hesitated and then plopped down. My attempt to talk was met with a gentle “Shhh”. She took my hand, put it in her lap, and held it. There were no assurances from her that “everything will be okay” or platitudes of “it is not your fault”. She just sat there quietly and allowed me to grieve in silence. It was the most powerful expression of consolation and compassion that I have ever received.

It is true that nothing lasts forever. We can move through the pain and suffering. We can offer and receive compassion.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Holy Thursday

Holy Thursday, or Maundy Thursday, is one of the most sacred days of the year. It is filled with mystery, symbolism and confusion. The most compelling image to me is that of Jesus washing the feet of his friends. He expresses the fullness of his love by pouring water into a basin and assuming the role of a servant. Only days before he had experienced Mary washing his own feet with water and her tears. This self giving is not only offered as a gesture of compassion but is accompanied by the direction to follow his example. He asks us to live our lives in service to others.

I will never forget the profound and personal affect that a Holy Thursday washing of feet had for me. I was about 30 years old when my life-long best friend, Steve Magin, went with me to a service at St. Elizabeth Hospital Chapel in our home town. The mass was going to be offered by Father C. B. Motsett. Father Motsett had been a significant person in Steve’s life and important in mine as well. He was the parish priest at St. Paul's Church and principal at Schlarman High School in Danville, Illinois when we were youngsters. His kindness, encouragement, civic leadership and love of sports had provided important guidance. Father Motsett was in his late seventies, and semi-retired, when we attended the Holy Thursday Mass that year. We were both pleased to see him. He was very popular in our home town and the church was filled. The old man saw Steve and I sitting among the flock and came over to greet us prior to the service. What an honor! His words, however, were almost shattering. “Will you boys kindly allow me to wash your feet?” We nodded in numb acceptance of his invitation. The time came for the ceremony and 12 men walked up to the alter where chairs had been arranged. We each removed our shoes and socks. Father Motsett slowly and gently bathed each of us. I felt unworthy and was overcome by so many emotions. There was a deep sense of how Jesus’ disciples must have felt. Here was a great man kneeling in front of me, washing my feet. I wanted to raise him up and wash his feet just like Peter had implored in the gospel story. Then I felt a great sense of calm and peace. Father Motsett was teaching us again, just as he had when we were kids. He was demonstrating the importance of serving others with kindness and humility. None of us is greater than the other.

I have tried to live out the call of servant leadership. It is never easy. So many occasions seem to demand elevating myself to higher positions, to command others to react to my directions, and to take charge. It is much more difficult to just be a good example and allow others to join my efforts. Jesus asks us to follow him. He sends us people like Father Motsett to remind us. He wants us to kneel and provide relief to each others wounds.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Grief and Celebration

"I have always been alone, and I have never been alone.
What I used to call the self is a winnowing of light
in the flood plain of the boundless."
~ Margaret Gibson

Grief and Celebration are never far apart. We are guests at a wedding party and are swept over by a sudden sadness. An aspect of our life-long friendship with the groom is irreversibly changed now that he has given himself to his bride. We attend a funeral and there is a gathering at a restaurant afterwards where funny stories of the departed are traded among friends with drinks and toasts.

Palm Sunday is the beginning of Holy Week and, in a way, the end of Lent. It has always been interesting to me that all four gospels give us the image of God coming to us on a donkey. Here is celebration and grief in obvious coexistence. Christ is usually depicted as detached while the crowds of people are spreading palms in his path and shouting their greetings. He seems to be aware of both happiness and sadness. There is a peaceful acceptance here.

Our lives are often driven. We expect celebration and avoid grief. This is really impossible. The two are inseparable and we are called to the dance. Everything becomes more genuine, and our journey is enriched when we accept and embrace this reality.