We certainly don’t like to talk or even to think about betrayal. The concept is disturbing and the act seemingly unforgiveable. Playwright Steven Dietz said: “One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.” Yet, we have all been recipient of it. In fact, we have all committed at least small betrayals even to those that we love the most. How victimized we feel when betrayed. How diligently we try to hide our betrayals. There is anger and sadness on one side, shame and guilt on the other. No other action draws such deep emotions. We ask the pitiable question: “Why would they do this to me?” And there is no answer to follow. The one who betrays slinks into the night.
The greater the trust that one puts in another person, the greater the impact the betrayal has. The impact is always enormous. We feel as if we will never be able to trust anyone again. How can we ever allow ourselves to become vulnerable in the future? There comes an utter sense of helplessness. Then the pain and passive sense of loss turns active. The presence of retaliation looms heavy. This scene plays out as we mark Holy Thursday. Jesus is betrayed by a kiss from his dear friend. Confusion turns into violence as Peter draws his sword and cuts off the ear of a soldier. But Jesus’ response is stunning. He stops Peter and restores the soldier’s ear with his healing hand. His action forgives his betrayers.
If it is true that we are both betrayed and betrayer, we must search for the common humanity that exists in both. The confidences that have been compromised, the love that has been scorned and the trust that has been stolen beg for only one remedy. That single antidote for the poison of betrayal is forgiveness. Separation, isolation, resentment, woundedness, and rage can only destroy both victim and perpetrator. Neither can continue to exist with any measure of real hope without forgiveness. It may seem a bitter pill in many ways, but forgiveness is the vital medicine for healing betrayal.
I will begin to forgive those who have betrayed me and pray for forgiveness from those who I have betrayed.
1 comment:
Forgiveness does swing both ways. The ones we have deeply hurt, and the one or ones that has wounded us in such a way that it feels impossible to forgive them. Incess, rape,adultry whatever the case may be can push one into these abuses that we have for example,alcohol, pills, cocaine etc; it's been a way to escape reality.On the other hand, if you are one of those that have abused drugs because you feel guilt or you've fallen short because you are guilty of something...God can guide you through your path. ...but i can now see that if someone is truely sorry for whatever they have done that God protects them to. We all have been hurt, we all have made mistakes. I'll never forget what Bob spoke about "garbage" in our life. I personally thought i was getting rid of it but at times, the memories just flood and i have to forgive many people.I dont know what each and every persons problems is but I drank, i popped pills, i slept, i lost years laying in the bed not remembering what had happened. my kids were growing and succeeding in school and i was so selfish i just had a determining thought that everybody would be better off without me. the first gun i held to my head i never had the gut to shoot it. i shot it through the roof and later through a floor in my bedroom. the second gun i loaded ( never had loaded a gun that size) set down by my bed and put it at my temple.i tried so hard but couldnt do it. i laid it back down on the dresser by my husbands bed. He had checked it before he went to bed. It had never been loaded before. It had a shell i had left in it. He told me the next day he knew I had done it and it had a hair line trigger. I dont know how i didnt kill myself that night. I've been so selfish to my family and i have hurt them b/c i was hurt by my past. At some point we have to stop hurting and start rising above situations. thats where i am. perplexed by incess, molestation but reaching for truth because my kids derserve it. You, I dont answer to no one but God so if person is throwing rocks just keep your head up and move in that inner spirit. it will lead us.
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