Birthdays

The celebration of a birthday is truly unique in the scheme of our many festivities. It is the only time that we attend to only one single human being. We do not honor groups of soldiers, mothers, fathers, the sacred or profane. We pay homage to the one person who is having his or her special day. All of the attention, gifts and activities are devoted to the one and only who is marking the occasion of birth. I believe that this hoopla is appropriate, for there has never been one like you and there will never be another. This truth is encoded in your DNA which has evolved and has been encoded by parents, grandparents and generations of great grandparents into the dawn of humanity. Your combination of genes can never be exactly reproduced in the body of another. Even twins are unique and distinct. Your fingerprints are one of a kind. The mold has been broken!

I just had a birthday of my own. Fifty-nine years have passed since my arrival on the planet in Danville, Illinois. My wife treated me to an elegant brunch, home-made chocolate cake, two great presents and on and on. My wonderful cousin in Peoria sent a beautiful gift and counted down with daily phone calls. My life-long best friend sent seven cards over a ten day period. The well wishes and calls from my son and daughter, old friends and new friends were overwhelming. My co-workers took me out for lunch. Hard to top such a celebration! I am blessed. This is the spirit of happiness that everyone should experience! We are here for a short time, really. Why not take the opportunity to pay special attention to those with whom we interact? Throw a party! Break out the band and have a ball. There is no better time to do it than on the exceptional occasion of a birthday!

Veterans

Kathryn Jones, Ken Jones, Helen Trenchard (World War II Photo)

Two minutes of silence at The Eleventh Hour of The Eleventh Day of The Eleventh Month is set aside each year to honor veterans. Armistice Day, Remembrance Day or Veterans Day has been marked since 1918 as tribute to those who have served our country in the armed forces. Those men and women, as well as their families, have sacrificed more than most of us can imagine. They have given up personal pleasure and comfort for their principles. They have treasured the freedoms promised by our Constitution and Bill of Rights. They have loved their country. It is our duty to repay their gift of sacrifice with our material thanks. We need to say it and show it. Not just with words and parades but with meaningful health benefits and a GI bill that will pave the way for their futures. We owe them this and more.

We often forget the trials that are endured by the families. My Dad was in The Navy stationed in the South Pacific during WWII. Mom and my brother, Jack, followed him stateside from base to base in New York and Florida until he was finally deployed. Then they waited and worried...never even knowing where he was located. They participated in drives for the war effort, planted victory gardens, blacked out lights and listened to the news every day. The black car that carried an officer and chaplain never came to our house at 18 W. Winter in Danville, Illinois. My grandmother's two star Mother's Flag never had a star change to gold (representing a son that was killed in action). My uncle's aircraft carrier was bombed and sank but he survived. Dad and Uncle Bob came home in one piece. None of them talked about it much afterwards.

Life went on for my parents and brother. It went on with a GI bill that paid for colleges, housing opportunities and grateful employers that were ready to hire. The nation pulled together to show its never-ending thanks. We need to restore this kind of offering to our veterans today. It is up to us to write our congressional representatives and senators. We must demand a VA and benefit package of which we can be proud. It is what we can do to participate in their sacrifice.

Go For It

There are times in our lives when all the signs seem to be pointing us in a particular direction. Our thoughts and dreams are echoed in the songs and stories we hear and the media we see. The signposts seem to be everywhere. Walt Whitman experienced this in writing his famous Song of Myself when he said, "I know I am solid and sound, To me the converging objects of the universe perpetually flow, All are written to me, and I must get what the writing means." These rare times ask for us to assess our direction, pay attention, take stock and make decisions. Sometimes we just need to go for it!

Following external clues and using them to fulfill our dreams does not necessarily mean that we should throw caution to the wind. It does indicate that we need to focus, take stock and make decisions.  We have the opportunity to clear away the clutter and debris to provide a better look. We are empowered to make a positive shift and move forward. We can clearly see whether our current path is providing us the means for achieving our goals in life. We get to pull ourselves out of the sludge of the ordinary and climb toward the extraordinary. A sense of purpose, peace and happiness will flow in. Our new demeanor and attitude will actually attract like-minded people. Sometimes even the most unlikely angels arrive to help us along our way with the information and support we need.

Now is the time to take charge.  Now is the time to follow our dreams.

Self Fulfilling Prophesy

Many people have dampened spirits that contain no expectations. Experiences of disappointment have left them without joyful anticipation of good things. The argument posed is that they will never be let down as long as there is no looking forward to positive outcomes. It is living life in the tradition of Eeyore from A. A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh. One with this attitude is almost but never quite, depressed and melancholic with a dash of pessimism. The demeanor is close to moping while squatting dully at the status quo. There is a mind-set that says “It doesn’t matter what I want because it probably won’t happen anyway.” Just short of a sigh.

I contend that it would be better to experience lots of disappointment than to trudge through the gloomy day of no expectations. There is always something good to anticipate. Bad things will happen. Tough times will come and go. Looking to the positive possibilities, however, will create increased chances of happiness and success. Robert Merton wrote about self-fulfilling prophesy. Belief and behavior are undeniably linked. The “truth” of a situation can actually be altered by the influence of believers. When something good is expected something good is more likely to happen. Our behavior changes and often the outcome transformed.

Why shouldn't we realign our thinking to allow for not only good outcomes, but for outstanding ones?  Why shouldn't we shoot for the stars?  This is how we stretch to excellence.  This is how greatness is achieved.  No more of this fear of the unknown.  No more of this anhedonia.  Do more and expect the best.  Life will regain it's flavor!

Halloween Past

Everything changes and evolves.  Halloween not-with-standing.  It has grown into a huge industry in The United States.  There are entire holiday stores that are devoted to costumes and decorations.  People put up orange and black lights outside on the same trees that will sport Christmas colors in a few weeks.  You can find an outfit and makeup that will transform you into most anything at all with little effort.  Some things are constant, of course.  Many kids still go from door to door collecting candy and other goodies.  Mostly minature candy bars nowadays.  Streets fill up with ghosts and monsters.  There are still tricks that are played.  Everyone but old grouches and those who are offended by some religious perspective or supposed evil seem to have a great time.  Halloween is still fun.  Different but plenty of fun.

I grew up in a different age.  There was little commercial value in Halloween except for an increase in candy sales I'm sure.  Masks were available at some places along with a few costumes.  None of them were very elaborate.  Most of us had mothers or grandmothers who made our outfits for Trick or Treating.  We had to decide well in advance what we were going to be and wear on Halloween.  Othewise it just turned out to be a white sheet with holes cut out for eyes, nose and mouth.  There were never any bags or carriers for the collection of goodies.  Most of us had grocery bags that we decorated at school or at home.  They had cut out handles or ones that had been pasted on the top for easy carrying.  My wife reminded me that rainy days resulted in busted bags with spoiled candy.  Sometimes we would make extra trips home to deposit our loot so that it wouldn't break the bags.  There was always some mean adult who would drop a big apple in the sack and split it open.  Great party ideas included bobbing for apples in a tub of water.

Anyone who did not have treats or who made the mistake of not being at home on Halloween was subject to Tricks.  Lots of these would result in juvenile probation and in today's world despite the fact that they were pretty much harmless.  We soaped windows, flung toilet paper in the trees and every now and then set a bag of poop on fire at someone's doorstep.  Schools were always a target.  Egging was reserved for another level of trickster.  We were told that raw eggs destroyed the paint on cars and that only hoodlums did such things.  For some reason that stopped me.  Not sure why.  Tricking was great entertainment and geneally accepted by the community at large.

All-in-all the results of Halloween were the same in the 1950's and 60's as they are now.  Sugar highs turn into headaches and stomach aches.  Parents end up taking much of the candy into their possession to stop future gorging and overdose.  All of the costumes and stuff get stored away.  Messes get cleaned up.  It is a terrific holiday.  Happy Halloween!

Being Lost

The experience of being lost is bewildering and often frightening. We find ourselves in an unfamiliar place without a good frame of reference. There is an overwhelming desire to get information and regain our bearings. Fear can intensify to such a point that even the directional cues such as the position of the sun are confusing. You wander so far off the path that you have no idea where you might be. The fear and disorientation turns into panic. We pray that someone will find us.

There is seldom a time that being lost is a pleasant experience for most of us. Some people, however, seem to relish the whole thing. My Uncle Bob and my Dad were two of those people. They loved to “take the scenic route” and were delighted when the adventure resulted in getting (what seemed to be) hopelessly lost. The announcement from the front seat of the car that we were veering off to the road less traveled was not usually well received. Highways become two lane roads which ultimately led to dirt roads in the country, one lane mountain byways and remote villages that no stranger had visited for several million years. These guys were undeterred by protests from helpless wives and children. Their enthusiasm only became greater as we dropped deeper into the abyss. Dad and Uncle Bob did not believe that there was any such thing as being lost. We always found our way back home or to our ultimate destination. We were never eaten by wild animals or froze and starved to death in our cars. They taught us a really valuable life lesson. Being lost is a state of mind. It is one that my cousins and I have assimilated pretty well.

There is so much to learn and so much to see. We can take the safe road and move from destination to destination if we want. The problem is that we miss all of the really great things that are off the beaten path. Life deals us plenty of blows. We are often windswept and thrown off course. We can choose to be lost and helpless or we can embrace the experience and dive into the excitement of the “scenic route”. I recommend this one that is just to the left and seems to go…let’s see…I thought I knew.

The Next Right Thing

We are charged, in life, with the task of doing “the next right thing”. This implies that there is absolutely nothing that can be done to change the past. There is also nothing that we can do which will generate guaranteed outcomes in the future. It is vitally important to focus on the here and now. This is the time to assess our position, utilize the tools at hand, and move forward with meaningful action and good intentions.

Doing the right thing has three basic component parts:

1. Don’t worry. All that will come of it is an increasing inability to do anything at all. Worry will certainly negatively impact your physical and emotional health.


2. Don’t hurry. Hasty action will rarely achieve good results and might have dire consequences. Take some time, consider the impact of what is about to be done.


3. Don’t hate. The one that is most impacted by hate is the one who is doing the hating. There is no reason to foster this feeling. Hating people, places, or situations only creates deep resentment. Resentment steals the spotlight and hinders the capacity to focus on anything but the negative.

We can be in charge of the present decisions that we are making. We can control our part in every response and reaction. We can do the next right thing.