The Memory of Terrorism

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was 15 years old when she left the comfort of home in Switzerland to find herself. It was a time when World War II was raging in Europe. Hitler's Nazis were leaving millions of people dead or dying in their wake. Cities were being destroyed, people were starving, children separated from their parents, and thousands upon thousands were being exterminated by the 'master race'. Her journey continued after the war when she visited the concentration camp at Maidanek. The walls of the waiting area just outside of the gas chambers were filled with drawings of butterflies drawn by children who were awaiting a horrible death. This is the message that they left behind. Elisabeth encountered a girl who was a Jewish survivor of the death camp and asked her how it was possible that men and women could so brutally kill such innocent children. The answer changed her life. The girl said to her "Oh my God, if I spend the rest of my life telling about all these horrible things, I would not be any better than Hitler himself. I would plant seeds of hate and negativity."

It is incomprehensible that beautiful, innocent, delightful children can be killed by monsters. It is just as incomprehensible that beautiful, innocent, delightful children can grow up to be the monsters that do such things. Dr. Kubler-Ross did not become bitter. She developed a lifelong passion to help, to heal, feed and clothe the less fortunate. Her work soothed the ravages of grief for countless people.

The memory of September 11, 2001 reminds us all that horrible things happen. The thought of it can lead us to seek revenge or it can lead us to service. It is our responsibility to make choices built on the foundations of love rather than fear. We have the obligation to help shape the lives others so that they will choose not to be terrorists but rather to be healers.

Success & Failure

The word failure can set up a simplistic way of thinking that allows for only the two possibilities of failure or success. The word failure has come to elicit a black and white scenario in which all subtlety is lost. We tend to lose our ability to see the truth when we regard ourselves, or something we have done, as a failure.

Failure has come to represent the worst possible outcome. It more often is something that did not turn out the way that we wanted. The negativity surrounding the concept of failure is not something that is lost on Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison or Babe Ruth. These men were never reduced by frequent occurrences of that which we label failure. Their endeavors came up short frequently. Jordan lost 26 games by missing the game winning shot. Disney was a high school drop out who filed for bankruptcy in 1921. Edison tried to revolutionize the iron ore business. He spent a decade and several million dollars in an eterprise that would fall on it's face. His process, however, became the inspiration for Henry Ford's Model T. Babe Ruth, the king of baseball, struck out more than anyone else in his era. The world is a better place because they did not give up. They never quit trying. They never considered themselves as failures in life.

It is time that we reframe the word and the concept of failure in the context of the larger picture. It might be an idea to drop the use of the word completely. What can we learn from situations that do not work out the way that we wanted? What can we do differently when we come up short? Today I will remember that failure is not falling down, it is staying down.

Joining With Angels

“We are, each of us angels with only one wing: and we can only fly by embracing one another.”
~ Luciano de Crescenzo

We have the ability to be angels in the lives of people that we touch throughout the day. The truth is that life is good and we are all challenged to carry that news to others. An incredible multiplication of energy occurs when this message becomes a part of the mission statement within our various workplaces and organizations. These groups of people become angelic forces for good within the community.

There is an incredible amount of good that we can affect as individuals. Joining with others, networking and cooperating allow our efforts to reach levels that we can never achieve on our own. We move from walking on the solitary path to flying in formation. Light shines in the midst of the darkness through our combined interventions. Today is a good time to seek the counsel of like minded people. It is a good time to enlarge our efforts. It is always a great time to carry the message of kindness, gratefulness and good cheer. Life is good.

Little Things and Little Moments Are Not Little

Our lives seem to be filled with uneventful, little moments that are punctuated with occasional big times. The picture above is one of my Dad, at the grill, enjoying his life. He used to comment about someone having “a big time”. This usually involved an event such as a football tailgate, a party, a vacation or something of the kind. To him, however, it was also about making a big time. Simply cooking out in the back yard was fun and constituted a celebration. All of our little moments can be big times. We need to understand that most of them really are anyway. Whether we acknowledge them or not.

The little moments are so incredibly precious. Watching your kids eating their Cheerios in the morning. Seeing the first signs of autumn coloring the trees. Feeling the calm of night settling in on a warm summer day. Smelling the aroma of steaks on the grill. All of these little moments can slip by if we let them. They will grow in stature if we only notice them. Fully appreciating the moment at hand allows us to see the big picture in perspective. Enlarging the beauty of the here and now encourages gratefulness and cheerfulness. Even in the midst of stress, crisis or great sadness there are good things going on. Friends are lending a hand. Kindnesses are being extended. The sun continues to rise and the tides come in and go out. We can do more than endure and persevere.

We can value what we have in these little moments. We can then begin to appreciate their significance and celebrate their wonder. This is something that we can begin to practice right now. How can I have a big time today? Look around. Do you see it? Try again. Get up and walk around. Find the secret of the little moment. Now there is the beginning of a big time.

Moving On After Tragedy

“Let me arise and open the gate,
to breathe the wild warm air of the heath,
And to let in Love, and to let out Hate,
And anger at living and scorn of Fate,
To let in Life, and to let out Death.”
~ Violet Fane

The weight of past tragedies and misfortunes can bring it’s heaviness into our present lives. It rushes in on anniversaries of times in which we were overcome with sadness, fear, loneliness and despair. We can do little more to stop it than we can alter the course of the tides. It is important to acknowledge such times with some kind of commemoration or celebration. Pretending that they are not a part of our lives can cause real problems for us. Denial is a deadly emotional time bomb.

I met a woman and her children at the Names Project in Washington, DC several years ago. The AIDS quilt was being displayed in it’s entirety for the last time. The massive patchwork stretched from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial. I was overtaken with sadness, grief and confusion as I wandered among it’s many segments. Then I encountered this young mother. She was walking her two sons, age 11 and 13, through the quilt while gently talking about a part of the quilt that commemorated the life of victim after victim of AIDS. I felt comforted by her soft and inspired voice and followed a few steps behind. They came to stop at a piece. She said “Look boys, this was his teddy bear, a picture of his high school graduation, and a stitched note from your Uncle Tommy. Daddy loved him so much.” All three put their arms around each other and wept. They left after a few moments and I stared at the memories of this gay man who had lived a life apart from his wife and children. They had come to acknowledge his death, to grieve and to celebrate. I later saw the mother and boys at the gift shop buying Red Ribbon tee shirts. They were making plans to visit sites in our nation’s capitol. Life, death, joy and sadness were all being experienced. All with an eye on the future.

It is this vision of what can be that puts the past in perspective. We are called to be persistent as well as to be patient with ourselves and others. We are called to live life to its fullest.

Cheerfulness

Cheerfulness is infectious! Jean Paul Richter said "Cheerfulness is the atmosphere in which all things thrive." It is a quality that makes people feel good, comfortable, appreciated and welcomed. There has been a tendency in our world to value seriousness and a kind of glum affect. Frowning and somber faced folks in the workplace are seen as the ones who are hard-at-it and doing the job that is before them. They might be unapproachable but, at the very least, are making their way and earning their pay. It is certainly not much fun to be around them. The truth is that this attitude and the people who carry it are easily forgettable. We remember the ones who bring brightness, happiness and exuberance.

Cheerful people leave a lasting impact. We have listened to the many descriptions of Senator Edward Kennedy recently. His great body of work, successes and failings have been paraded before us since his death. The recollections that have been repeated the most often though are of his great cheerfulness and boisterous charm. The joy, mirth and laughter that follow a cheerful soul bring gifts of optimism and a sort of sunrise to the spirit of others. We have a choice. We can be determined to be cheerful or we can be restrained, unremarkable and boring.

It is no more difficult to be cheerful and upbeat than it is to be somber and intense. It does require a certain discipline. We are required to access happinesses that we have experienced (or are experiencing) and allow them to radiate from our very being. It asks that we smile genuinely, offer a hearty handshake, give a pat on the back, make eye contact and listen. This discipline must become a habit. We need to practice it. Follow the directives of the lyrics of the old song that says "Live, love, laugh and be happy." Your life will be more satisfying. You will enjoy better health. You will be remembered warmly.

The Torch Is Passed

Senator Edward M. Kennedy lost his battle with cancer today. He was one who fought many battles in life. He was never afraid to lose. This was a courageous man, not without flaws, not without brokenness and not without mistakes. He was resilient and enduring despite the criticism of others. Senator Kennedy was a champion of the poor, the downtrodden and the hopeless. He believed that the government should take care of those who are unable to care for themselves. He was a voice for the voiceless. His example is one that should lead us on pathways of kindness and benevolence. We are never too busy or too old to make a difference or to affect change. It is our responsibility to stand up for our beliefs and to be agents of good. The torch is passed.