Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time for family and friends. It elicits memories through smells and familiar surroundings. We bring out traditional items that only appear at this time of the year. We set our expectations on something wonderful. We anticipate goodness and abundance. It is a great time to write a gratitude list, call family members who are far away on the phone, and celebrate who we are. Thank you for this holiday.

Thank you for my parents and grandparents, uncles and aunts. They were such great people. It seems like everything they did had a spirit of kindness and generosity. Holidays were always fun. There was a sense of happiness in the air mixed with the aroma of roasting turkey and clinking glasses.

Thank you for my wife. She is my rock and my love. Her faith in me, abiding affection, and her good nature has given me the ability to live, serve others, and celebrate life. None of my successes would have been possible without her. There is none with a better heart.

Thank you for my children. They are a continual source of pride. We are not near one another, but I feel their presence every single day. Their life journeys are inspiring. I never get enough of them. I love all three of them more today than they will ever guess.

Thank you for my huge family. My brother and sister who are gone but remembered with great affection.  My dear cousins who gathered in Peoria this year, my nephews and niece with their children and grandchildren, all of those with whom I am in touch and those who are more distant. I cannot begin to express the happiness that they have brought to me.

Thank you for my friends. My dear loyal friends from boyhood are still a part of my life. We seem to be as connected, albeit with miles between us, as we were when we were kids. They have been another family for me. My new friends are a blessing as well. Steadfast, welcoming and accepting, my friends are always there.

Thank you for my work and for my co-workers. We engage in a difficult but rewarding vocation. Let us never forget to be equally thankful for those that we serve. The truth is that they are the rich blessing in our lives.

Thank you for this life. It is good. It is marvelous. Thank you, God.

Becoming Tolerant

The answer to achieving tolerance towards others is almost always found in self acceptance. That which we find bothersome, annoying or intolerable in people is a key to personal growth. The very defects of character that we deplore in our neighbor are often hidden within our own hearts and minds. Sometimes they are buried deeply and sometimes they lie just beneath our surface. We are often quick to judge when we see these shortcomings or excesses in others. We might criticize the person and his behavior or just shake our heads with a sense of superiority. Somewhere inside, however, we know that this is just what we fear about ourselves.

Every time we become aware of our intolerance we have an opportunity to address our own issues. We have been given the chance to improve, fine tune and change. The process of self acceptance is an ongoing adventure. There is nothing that can stand in the way if we are eager to become a better person. The spiritual path of becoming can prove to be irresistible if we see ourselves for who we really are. The goodness that is within us far outshines any little flaws that need to be overcome. Each of us is a perfect creation of God. Each of us is a part of that source from which we came. Nobody is separate from the other. We are all in this together. Understanding this truth makes it possible to be tolerant and accepting of others. It removes the heavy burden of judgment.

Birthdays

The celebration of a birthday is truly unique in the scheme of our many festivities. It is the only time that we attend to only one single human being. We do not honor groups of soldiers, mothers, fathers, the sacred or profane. We pay homage to the one person who is having his or her special day. All of the attention, gifts and activities are devoted to the one and only who is marking the occasion of birth. I believe that this hoopla is appropriate, for there has never been one like you and there will never be another. This truth is encoded in your DNA which has evolved and has been encoded by parents, grandparents and generations of great grandparents into the dawn of humanity. Your combination of genes can never be exactly reproduced in the body of another. Even twins are unique and distinct. Your fingerprints are one of a kind. The mold has been broken!

I just had a birthday of my own. Fifty-nine years have passed since my arrival on the planet in Danville, Illinois. My wife treated me to an elegant brunch, home-made chocolate cake, two great presents and on and on. My wonderful cousin in Peoria sent a beautiful gift and counted down with daily phone calls. My life-long best friend sent seven cards over a ten day period. The well wishes and calls from my son and daughter, old friends and new friends were overwhelming. My co-workers took me out for lunch. Hard to top such a celebration! I am blessed. This is the spirit of happiness that everyone should experience! We are here for a short time, really. Why not take the opportunity to pay special attention to those with whom we interact? Throw a party! Break out the band and have a ball. There is no better time to do it than on the exceptional occasion of a birthday!

Veterans

Kathryn Jones, Ken Jones, Helen Trenchard (World War II Photo)

Two minutes of silence at The Eleventh Hour of The Eleventh Day of The Eleventh Month is set aside each year to honor veterans. Armistice Day, Remembrance Day or Veterans Day has been marked since 1918 as tribute to those who have served our country in the armed forces. Those men and women, as well as their families, have sacrificed more than most of us can imagine. They have given up personal pleasure and comfort for their principles. They have treasured the freedoms promised by our Constitution and Bill of Rights. They have loved their country. It is our duty to repay their gift of sacrifice with our material thanks. We need to say it and show it. Not just with words and parades but with meaningful health benefits and a GI bill that will pave the way for their futures. We owe them this and more.

We often forget the trials that are endured by the families. My Dad was in The Navy stationed in the South Pacific during WWII. Mom and my brother, Jack, followed him stateside from base to base in New York and Florida until he was finally deployed. Then they waited and worried...never even knowing where he was located. They participated in drives for the war effort, planted victory gardens, blacked out lights and listened to the news every day. The black car that carried an officer and chaplain never came to our house at 18 W. Winter in Danville, Illinois. My grandmother's two star Mother's Flag never had a star change to gold (representing a son that was killed in action). My uncle's aircraft carrier was bombed and sank but he survived. Dad and Uncle Bob came home in one piece. None of them talked about it much afterwards.

Life went on for my parents and brother. It went on with a GI bill that paid for colleges, housing opportunities and grateful employers that were ready to hire. The nation pulled together to show its never-ending thanks. We need to restore this kind of offering to our veterans today. It is up to us to write our congressional representatives and senators. We must demand a VA and benefit package of which we can be proud. It is what we can do to participate in their sacrifice.

Go For It

There are times in our lives when all the signs seem to be pointing us in a particular direction. Our thoughts and dreams are echoed in the songs and stories we hear and the media we see. The signposts seem to be everywhere. Walt Whitman experienced this in writing his famous Song of Myself when he said, "I know I am solid and sound, To me the converging objects of the universe perpetually flow, All are written to me, and I must get what the writing means." These rare times ask for us to assess our direction, pay attention, take stock and make decisions. Sometimes we just need to go for it!

Following external clues and using them to fulfill our dreams does not necessarily mean that we should throw caution to the wind. It does indicate that we need to focus, take stock and make decisions.  We have the opportunity to clear away the clutter and debris to provide a better look. We are empowered to make a positive shift and move forward. We can clearly see whether our current path is providing us the means for achieving our goals in life. We get to pull ourselves out of the sludge of the ordinary and climb toward the extraordinary. A sense of purpose, peace and happiness will flow in. Our new demeanor and attitude will actually attract like-minded people. Sometimes even the most unlikely angels arrive to help us along our way with the information and support we need.

Now is the time to take charge.  Now is the time to follow our dreams.

Self Fulfilling Prophesy

Many people have dampened spirits that contain no expectations. Experiences of disappointment have left them without joyful anticipation of good things. The argument posed is that they will never be let down as long as there is no looking forward to positive outcomes. It is living life in the tradition of Eeyore from A. A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh. One with this attitude is almost but never quite, depressed and melancholic with a dash of pessimism. The demeanor is close to moping while squatting dully at the status quo. There is a mind-set that says “It doesn’t matter what I want because it probably won’t happen anyway.” Just short of a sigh.

I contend that it would be better to experience lots of disappointment than to trudge through the gloomy day of no expectations. There is always something good to anticipate. Bad things will happen. Tough times will come and go. Looking to the positive possibilities, however, will create increased chances of happiness and success. Robert Merton wrote about self-fulfilling prophesy. Belief and behavior are undeniably linked. The “truth” of a situation can actually be altered by the influence of believers. When something good is expected something good is more likely to happen. Our behavior changes and often the outcome transformed.

Why shouldn't we realign our thinking to allow for not only good outcomes, but for outstanding ones?  Why shouldn't we shoot for the stars?  This is how we stretch to excellence.  This is how greatness is achieved.  No more of this fear of the unknown.  No more of this anhedonia.  Do more and expect the best.  Life will regain it's flavor!

Halloween Past

Everything changes and evolves.  Halloween not-with-standing.  It has grown into a huge industry in The United States.  There are entire holiday stores that are devoted to costumes and decorations.  People put up orange and black lights outside on the same trees that will sport Christmas colors in a few weeks.  You can find an outfit and makeup that will transform you into most anything at all with little effort.  Some things are constant, of course.  Many kids still go from door to door collecting candy and other goodies.  Mostly minature candy bars nowadays.  Streets fill up with ghosts and monsters.  There are still tricks that are played.  Everyone but old grouches and those who are offended by some religious perspective or supposed evil seem to have a great time.  Halloween is still fun.  Different but plenty of fun.

I grew up in a different age.  There was little commercial value in Halloween except for an increase in candy sales I'm sure.  Masks were available at some places along with a few costumes.  None of them were very elaborate.  Most of us had mothers or grandmothers who made our outfits for Trick or Treating.  We had to decide well in advance what we were going to be and wear on Halloween.  Othewise it just turned out to be a white sheet with holes cut out for eyes, nose and mouth.  There were never any bags or carriers for the collection of goodies.  Most of us had grocery bags that we decorated at school or at home.  They had cut out handles or ones that had been pasted on the top for easy carrying.  My wife reminded me that rainy days resulted in busted bags with spoiled candy.  Sometimes we would make extra trips home to deposit our loot so that it wouldn't break the bags.  There was always some mean adult who would drop a big apple in the sack and split it open.  Great party ideas included bobbing for apples in a tub of water.

Anyone who did not have treats or who made the mistake of not being at home on Halloween was subject to Tricks.  Lots of these would result in juvenile probation and in today's world despite the fact that they were pretty much harmless.  We soaped windows, flung toilet paper in the trees and every now and then set a bag of poop on fire at someone's doorstep.  Schools were always a target.  Egging was reserved for another level of trickster.  We were told that raw eggs destroyed the paint on cars and that only hoodlums did such things.  For some reason that stopped me.  Not sure why.  Tricking was great entertainment and geneally accepted by the community at large.

All-in-all the results of Halloween were the same in the 1950's and 60's as they are now.  Sugar highs turn into headaches and stomach aches.  Parents end up taking much of the candy into their possession to stop future gorging and overdose.  All of the costumes and stuff get stored away.  Messes get cleaned up.  It is a terrific holiday.  Happy Halloween!