Changing Attitudes & Latitudes

The news of the day has been filled with catastrophic economic forecasts, anguish and the predictable finger pointing on all sides. The years of work that I have done with kids and adults in trouble makes this mind set seem somehow normal. My clients are experiencing situations that have shaken their foundations and turned their lives upside down. The first thing that we try to adjust, after crisis intervention, is attitude and outlook. This is a realignment of self concept and perspective…and it is critical to change and empowerment.

Developing a positive perspective and positive thinking result in a demeanor that anticipates successful outcomes, happiness, joy, bliss and good health. It is important to visualize and verbalize the constructive and beneficial aspects of every situation. Picture the way that you want things to turn out and move forward as if it has already happened. This will remove roadblocks and negate the comments of those who might not support or appreciate your efforts. Put a positive spin on things by practicing affirmative self talk.

Examples of this might be saying things like:

• This is an opportunity to learn something new!
• There is a solution to every problem!
• I’m going to take a chance!
• There is another way to open up a channel of communications!
• Let’s look at this from a different angle!

Remember to stay away from self blame, avoid making things out as a disaster and that few things are black or white. The Zen Master said that the sky is blue regardless of what we see. He is right. Shades of grey and storms won’t last forever. Hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky. Mishaps and interruptions occasionally block the brilliance of our lives. But, like the rainy weather, will clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon. I am living and working in Florida right now. It rains a lot…and just before it clears…there is frequently a rainbow. You can count on things getting better. It helps if you participate in the process.

Fiscal Flight

We are awaiting the decisions of our legislators in respect to the country’s economy. There is great angst and controversy surrounding the best strategy for solving the situation. Each side has arguments with merit. Our future and stability rely on putting aside partisan politics combined with a rolling up of our collective sleeves to quickly find short and long term answers to our crisis.

It is important to try not to get discouraged when we find ourselves facing such overwhelming obstacles. It can be easy to feel stuck. Outside forces of life seem to be creating circumstances preventing us from solving our problems. It is easy to blame everyone and everything outside of ourselves. The first course of action is to take a good hard look inside. Personal responsibility for our own financial dilemma must be taken into consideration. Choices that we,as individuals, have made can be corrected. Choices that our nation has made can be corrected as well. The second thing that we must do is to be decisive. It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so. We cannot afford to STAY stuck.

We are a great people with a sound system of government. It will not fail unless we lose confidence in our ability to persist and endure. We have important things to do. The biggest mistake we can make is to take no action.

Three Gifts

I was given the gift of perspective yesterday. As a matter of fact, there were three gifts.

The first was received during a visit to Covenant House in Orlando. My intention was to volunteer some time helping kids in trouble. That will most probably happen once or twice a week starting in the near future. I fully grasped what I was in for as far as facing the enormity of difficulties and challenges that Covenant House kids deal with every day. They are children who find themselves homeless and often cast away. As such, they have done anything imaginable… and perhaps unimaginable…to survive. This I knew. What I did not realize was how deeply spiritual such a shelter (better called sanctuary) could be. I am not talking about religiously driven at all. Almost every service for homeless folks is sponsored by a church group of some kind. People in residence are often required to avail themselves of the worship and teachings of the parent organization. Not so with Covenant House. It has roots and affiliation with the Roman Catholics but that connection is never part or parcel of the services provided for the kids. They have a spiritual director and offer retreats…but are completely ecumenical in nature. The perspective that I gained was that with all of the pain and struggle there was a deep sense of serenity and love in that place of sanctuary. Lives and outlooks are transformed by people who choose to act out of love rather than fear and with kindness rather than anger. There is no judgment. There seem to be joyous rather than embittered people there. There is a feeling of generosity as opposed to the covetousness that you might expect.

The second gift was received unexpectedly through the miracle of email. I have been blessed with some friends that have been with me since grade school. We have decades of history between us. The political season sparked some interesting, funny and challenging exchanges of electronic thoughts. One of the guys, Joe, decided to expand the discussion to a network of other old friends with whom he communicates. So, without notice, an email was received that had names of several guys who I had not heard from or really thought of in years. All of them go way back into my childhood. The unanticipated reunion was a tremendous treat for me. I more deeply appreciate the presence of friends than ever before. Years of distant separation mean little. The gem that is friendship cannot be overvalued. New friends and acquaintances are great. But nothing compares to old friends. They are family.

The third gift of perspective was given to me by my dear wife. She is a lifelong teacher of kids with special needs. Her tough times are never about her students but surround the administrative folks, co-workers and often parents. She is fiercely dedicated to her pupils. They have her as an advocate for as long as five or six years in her high school contained classroom setting. My admiration for her and for her work is great. I have never known anyone who would go to bat, fight for understanding and battle the system like she does. Bonita was relating the most current struggle with people in charge who were more concerned with protocol than the welfare of one of her kids. She was willing to do what was right in advocacy for the boy at the very risk of losing her job. I am so proud of her…and was reminded of yet another facet of her delightful nature. She is the love of my life.

So there are the three gifts from yesterday. It feels like Christmas.

A September 11 Perspective

This article about September 11, 2001 was written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title 'C'ntarea Americii, (meaning: 'Ode To America ') in the Romanian newspaper Evenimentulzilei (meaning: 'The Daily Event' or 'News of the Day') As we remember the tragedy of that September day in 2001 and recall the great suffering of our nation let us also celebrate the personal freedom that we share in The United States of America;

~An Ode to America ~

Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs.
Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a hand put on the heart.Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the Army, or the Secret Service that they are only a bunch of losers.
Nobody rushed to empty their bank accounts.
Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape about.
Instead the Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the national flag. They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a government official or the president was passing. On every occasion, they started singing: 'God Bless America!'
I watched the live broadcast and rerun after rerun for hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with the terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a target that could have killed other hundreds or thousands of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human being? Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes. And with every phone call, millions and millions of dollars were put into a collection aimed at rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land? Their history? Their economic power? Money?
I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding commonplace, I thought things over, I reached but only one conclusion...
Only freedom can work such miracles.
Cornel Nistorescu

No Time For Negativity

The challenges and opportunities that face us in these complicated times cannot be met by using devisive smug sarcasm or sardonic humor. The politicians that are seeking leadership positions in The United States should not stoop to such tactics in these times. I find it impossible to imagine Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt or John F. Kennedy wasting valuable time plotting ways to insult or injure rivals when the most important issues of their time were facing them. Lord Kames of England said that no person did a designed injury to another but at the same time did greater to himself. Honesty and humility are qualities that are in short supply. They are character traits that we must demand in this political season. Our new leaders will guide us through the storm or allow us to perish in its’ wake.

Labor Day & Honoring Labor

It is Labor Day. All of these holidays are starting to look the same nowadays. Backyard cookouts and fireworks made it feel like The Fourth of July! It is a good time for all of us to look at the state of labor in this country. We are not doing very well. Working people are struggling and poverty is increasing. Labor Unions have been virtually powerless since President Reagan hired scabs to disempower Air Traffic Controllers in 1981. Big business has done well and employers are unafraid to overwork and to underpay. The results have been catastrophic.

Nearly one-fifth of all children (17.6%) live in poverty; about two thirds have one or more working parent. Since 1992, the share of poor children with at least one parent working full-time has increased by 60 percent.

According to the Current Population Survey conducted by the Census Bureau in 2005, nearly 16 million people had incomes below half of the poverty level: less than $9,903 for a family of four or $5,080 for an individual. The poverty threshold in 2005 was $19,971 for a family of four or $9,973 for an individual in 2005. According to a report by McClatchy Newspapers the percentage of people living in severe poverty has reached a 32-year high. The analysis found that the number of severely poor people has grown by 26 percent from 2000 to 2005.

In 2005, 24 percent of all workers had year-round, full-time work that did not pay enough to keep a family of four above the poverty threshold. The Bureau of Labor Statistics has calculated that the share of jobs requiring a high school diploma or less will remain virtually stable in the next 7 years at around 47% percent. Although more jobs will be created in those years, according to the Bureau of Labor Standards, 18 of the 30 fastest growing job categories pay low or very low wages and are the least likely to provide employer-based benefits such as health care, sick leave, day care benefits, and educational benefits.

At the 350 largest public companies, the average CEO takes one hour and fifty-five minutes to earn the annual pay of a full-time minimum-wage worker.

So as we celebrate with Labor Day Sales, Jerry Lewis and the closeness of family and friends today let's honor the people who work by promising to deliver real change this year. We have a voice. We have the right to vote.

The Olympic Games

The Beijing Olympic Games begin today, 08/08/2008. The number "8" is traditionally associated with wealth and prosperity in Asian cultures. It is also, in its' laying down form, the symbol of eternity. This date only occurs once every 100 years...and it will be the only time in most of our lives that the combination of numbers will occur. What a celebration of life! Not in terms of money and possessions...but the real riches that are offered to us on this once-in-a-lifetime occasion. We already possess the material wealth and prosperity that it takes to feed a hungry world and to eliminate much illness. Eternity asks us to participate. I think it is important to allow the spectacular gathering of the world's best athletes to serve as a symbol of hope for cooperation. We will always have political differences and there is certainly plenty of human suffering to showcase in the world today. But this event shows that we CAN participate as one world and that there ARE possibilities. Let's spend some of this time NOT taking ourselves so seriously and witness the games for what they are. Let's give thanks for the wealth and prosperity that has been given to us and seek more ways to distribute it to those in need.