Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Speaking Well


The Island Sand, a newspaper in Ft. Myers Beach, Florida, published an article in 1970 on the occasion of Roy Jones 95th birthday.  It said that "This courtly gentleman's philosophy of living is as positive as it has always been...One of his quotes is 'If you can not say anything good about a person, don't say anything at all'."  The reporter was taken by Roy's gentle kindness and by his outlook toward people.  He spoke well of others. 

The practice of speaking well seems be out of date. We have become far too eager to criticize, find fault and place blame. It is so easy to identify blunders and what we perceive to be negative attributes of others. They seem to be glaring and call for our attention. We are rarely helpful when we point out these things. The hurt feelings and diminished self concepts that result far outweigh any good that might have come from our observations.

It is empowering and productive to catch each other being good. Reinforcing the positive aspects of behaviors make them occur more frequently. Calling attention to the good things that are going on creates an atmosphere that is dynamic and happy. This speaking well is a benediction. We have the opportunity to leave a person with a sense that they are important, loved and blessed. Everyone ends up in a better place.