Nora Gibbs Baum, a study in tenderness
Acts of tenderness are never forgotten by those who have received them. It is a virtue that comes from a deep affection extended without qualification or expectation of return. Many of us experience this quality of tenderness in greatest measure from our grandparents. Their kind words and gentle lessons make us feel loved in ways that mothers and fathers cannot. Through them we are given a great example of thoughtful affection and our lives are blessed by the wisdom of tenderness.
Why then do we find tenderness in such short supply? It seems that this quality fades in the false illusion that it somehow transmits weakness. We live in an age when strength is equated with survival. We are on guard against those who would do us harm to such a degree that any show of weakness seems to make us vulnerable to a supposed enemy. The truth is that showing affection, compassion and warmth are actually character traits that can be most effectively given by the strong. It takes passion, self control and patience to be tender and gentle. Cruelty and violence are the vanguard of the weak and ignorant.
It is mutually beneficial to begin a practice of tenderness in all of our affairs. We will begin to notice a softening of attitudes around us. Our approach will be marked by openness rather than apprehension. People will begin to take more time listening and attending to us. The lives of others will have been touched with goodness, grace and love. What better gift can we ever give and receive?
