“Let me arise and open the gate,
to breathe the wild warm air of the heath,
And to let in Love, and to let out Hate,
And anger at living and scorn of Fate,
To let in Life, and to let out Death.”
~ Violet Fane
The weight of past tragedies and misfortunes can bring it’s heaviness into our present lives. It rushes in on anniversaries of times in which we were overcome with sadness, fear, loneliness and despair. We can do little more to stop it than we can alter the course of the tides. It is important to acknowledge such times with some kind of commemoration or celebration. Pretending that they are not a part of our lives can cause real problems for us. Denial is a deadly emotional time bomb.
I met a woman and her children at the Names Project in Washington, DC several years ago. The AIDS quilt was being displayed in it’s entirety for the last time. The massive patchwork stretched from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial. I was overtaken with sadness, grief and confusion as I wandered among it’s many segments. Then I encountered this young mother. She was walking her two sons, age 11 and 13, through the quilt while gently talking about a part of the quilt that commemorated the life of victim after victim of AIDS. I felt comforted by her soft and inspired voice and followed a few steps behind. They came to stop at a piece. She said “Look boys, this was his teddy bear, a picture of his high school graduation, and a stitched note from your Uncle Tommy. Daddy loved him so much.” All three put their arms around each other and wept. They left after a few moments and I stared at the memories of this gay man who had lived a life apart from his wife and children. They had come to acknowledge his death, to grieve and to celebrate. I later saw the mother and boys at the gift shop buying Red Ribbon tee shirts. They were making plans to visit sites in our nation’s capitol. Life, death, joy and sadness were all being experienced. All with an eye on the future.
It is this vision of what can be that puts the past in perspective. We are called to be persistent as well as to be patient with ourselves and others. We are called to live life to its fullest.
